But he's just a ramen chef!
by Viperflamer
Summary: Naruto had the strength to be hokage a age ten. But something happens and he doesnt' take the job. Instead he quits being a shinobi and becomes a ramen chef. But can a chef with the powers of a Hokage remain a such or will he be pulled back in to save t
1. Chapter 1

But he's just a ramen chef!

Authors note: Howdy everyone its me. I am not giving up on any of my stories but I don't know if any of them will get done with in years. The thing is fanfiction is just a writing hobby so if I ever have an idea I like to write it down and submit it for your enjoyment. This one I personally think is one of my better idea's so hope you like. Oh and so you all know instead of 12 the characters are going to be 15. It just works better that way. And this time I purposely made the title start with a 'B' I figure this will be something I am known for. ALWAYS A B TITLE.

Chapter one

* * *

The old man Hokage stood smiling in front of the ten-year-old boy. The boy with sun kissed hair sat in a red velvet seat in front of the Hokage's desk.

"_So young and yet already one the most powerful shinobi in fire country. Nobody would have guessed that the nine-tails chakra would have almost completely merged with his body in such a short time."_ thought the old man.

The boy's eyes were calm and calculated; he was always on guard just like he was trained to be. He wasn't a cold person; no he was just professional. "Naruto." Said the old man. "You are only ten years old and are already at a point in power that is considered Kage level."

The boy stared at him with a small modest smile. He bowed his head in thanks. The old man continued to smile.

"Time and again you have proven yourself, and I have seen with my own eyes that you are a natural leader. You may have never been to the academy or taken a single exam to give you a rank but the fact of the matter is you were trained by the best, Jiraiya and myself."

"The council has agreed that you are ready for this…to be our next Hokage."

The old man let his words sink in. It was clear to see that the boy was honored in every respect of the word. "I don't know what to say…thank you." said Naruto.

"However before it is official I have one more assignment for you." said the old man. "You and Kakashi's Anbu squad are to go to our borders and eliminate a group of rock-nin. They are all highly skilled, the seven that there are, are said to be the strongest in Earth country."

The boy nodded in confirmation. "Very well I will leave immediately."

* * *

The Hokage now stood in front of his tower a group of Anbu behind him. He stared out to the road and saw the small figure making its way towards them. Naruto stepped forward his hiate(sp?) adorned proudly on his forehead. He wore a tight black shirt and ninja pants. On close inspection one could see that his body was conditioned better then even some of the Anbu.

"Well you have your orders…go." Ordered the Hokage. They all nodded and left in a flash. The Hokage watched their retreating forms and got a strange feeling in his gut, but he chose to ignore it. He looked at the boy and thought. _"He will be the youngest Hokage in history. Already he has surpassed me and I was said to be the greatest of the Hokage…well the fourth was in a league of his own, much like Naruto I suppose. Oh well like father like son."_

Two days had passed when the Hokage received word that the group was on there way back. He as well as several renowned members of the council stood at the gates waiting. They looked out onto the road and waited, it took a couple of minutes but then they saw one figure make his way forward. The figure reached the gates before the other squad members came into view.

The Hokage as well as the council looked at the one figure that was now walking towards them. His entire body was cover in blood, none of it his own, and only a speck of his sun kissed hair showed. His eyes were shadowed by his bangs as he made his way forward.

The old man smiled he could count from here that all members of the squad were walking towards them from a distance. He looked back to the boy who was now walking solely towards him.

"I trust all went wel-" he was cut off as he saw Naruto take off his hiate. He walked directly in front of the man not showing his eyes, as they remained hidden in his hair. He took the old man's hand and placed his hiate in his hand.

"I quit…" said Naruto. He didn't wait for the man to respond and just continued to walk forward past all of them. Not saying another word he went towards his home, and away from his shinobi career.

The rest of the squad made its way towards them. All the members were completely unharmed. "Kakashi what happened?" asked the old man still in a state of shock. The council listened as well for they had just heard their future Hokage quit his life as a shinobi.

"Naruto was brilliant sir." said Kakashi. He as well of the rest of the Anbu were clearly oblivious to the fact that Naruto had just quit. "Some how the rock knew we were coming and had an ambush set for us. There were over 200 nin's sir…Naruto took them all out single handedly, even the seven we were assigned to kill."

"Did anything happen to Naruto." asked the old man staring at the blood-covered hiate in his hand.

"No…well he was awfully quiet on the way back, he didn't stay with the group always a bit ahead of us. Why?" asked Kakashi.

"Because unless both I and the rest of the council heard incorrectly Naruto just resigned from being a shinobi." said the Hokage. "As well as being our next Hokage."

All those present could only stare out at the distant form of a blood-covered boy. The Hokage closed his eyes and a single tear fell down one. "_Naruto…what happened."

* * *

_

Five years later…

"_Oh please let me help you Naruto-sama." said a very attractive brunette. Her cleavage was all but bursting from her incredibly tight bikini._

"_No let me massage you shoulders Naruto-sama." said an equally attractive red head._

"_Girls girls you can both do it." said Naruto a huge perverted grin was on his face. As well as a tremendous blush._

"_Yayy, we love you Naruto-sama!" shouted out both girls at the same time. "How can we repay you." Naruto began laughing with joy like an idiot._

"_Oh I'm sure I will think of something."_

"NARUTO!" shouted out a figure. "Wake up you lazy idiot!"

A fifteen-year-old boy with sun kissed hair woke up from atop some bags of flour. He wore a large straw hat on top of his head and wire frame purple shaded sunglasses that didn't even cover all of his eyes, he had on a tight white muscle shirt and on top of it a loose bright orange button up shirt, that wasn't buttoned up. He had tan shorts on that were torn near the bottom and sandals on his feet. Black bands adorned his wrists and ankeles. He had rather long hair done back in a ponytail that went down his neck. Every thing about him screamed one thing…lazy. And yet his body was what most people in they're early twenties only dreamed about. The old ramen vendor couldn't figure out for the life of him how such a lazy boy could workout enough to be blessed with the body he had.

He rubbed his eyes lazily. "Oh good morning boss." said Naruto with a yawn. Naruto sat up with his legs crossed and reached over and grabbed a bottle. He poured himself a glass and began to drink.

"You want some sake boss?" asked Naruto in a lazy tone holding the bottle out. A vein appeared in the old man's balding head.

"I don't believe you!" he shouted. "When we first met you begged me for a job you said you would work harder then anyone I'd ever seen, but look at you half the time you're asleep and the other half your drunk!"

Naruto began to yawn. "Boss boss you need to relax I don't want you to die on me from stress." said Naruto.

"I swear to you if it wasn't for the fact that when you do work you make the best damn ramen I've ever tasted, you would be sooooooo fired." said the old man.

Naruto began waving his hand as if saying go away. "But the fact is I do make the best ramen, so why bother arguing if your not going to fire me." said Naruto as he took another sip of his sake and refilled his glass.

"I can't believe the Hokage gave you special treatment and allows you to drink that stuff, your only fifteen for heavens sakes!" said the old man.

Naruto held his bottle tighter and began to rub his cheek against it. "Well if I didn't have this gift from heaven I would probably go psycho and kill everyone." said Naruto as he began to laugh at his joke.

The old man began to laugh nervously wondering if it really was a joke. He took a couple steps back just in case.

"Well enough of my break, time to get to work." said Naruto standing up. He was already in the kitchen he slowly walked over to where a huge pile of dough lay. His face instantly became serious as he began to work.

In a matter of minutes he had one of the most perfectly prepared ramen dishes ever made in front of him. "Wa la." said Naruto. He grabbed the bowl and put it on the counter. A very attractive woman came up and grabbed it. Naruto smiled, as she was about to pay for it. "No no no miss I can't allow you to pay for that, it wouldn't be right."

The women looked up at him surprised. "But what to do you mean I must pay for it." she said.

"Your beauty is payment enough." said Naruto. A blush rose on her cheeks as she quickly took the ramen to her seat. She was with a man that appeared to be her boyfriend.

"Mom, I want a bite of yours." said a boy in his seat next to the woman.

Scratch that the man next to her was her husband and he was now glaring daggers at Naruto. Naruto let out a sigh as he looked at the two together.

"Someday." he said to himself. The old ramen chef came up behind him and smacked him on his head.

"What were you thinking giving that ramen away for free…that money is coming out of your pay." he said. "And what do you mean someday! You go through more girls a week then I did my entire life of dating!"

"Some how you didn't I'm not surprised." said Naruto. The old man began to glare at.

"But I don't love any of them." said Naruto. Naruto sighed. "Your way to serious." Naruto lied back on the sacks of flour pulling his straw hat over his eyes. "Wake me up when you need me, I'm going to sleep."

"Say isn't that the legendary Tsunade with out a top on?" said the old man. Naruto was up in an instant.

"Where." said Naruto.

The ramen chef sighed. "Get back to work now." he said. Naruto looked at him realizing he had been tricked.

Naruto grumbled at this and went back to work. "Slave driver." mumbled Naruto before he yawned yet again.

Costumers came and went each one more then satisfied with their meal. Naruto was one of the best chefs in Konoha, if not one of the best in fire country. At least that's how he felt.

"Dad I'm back!" shouted Ayame as she walked into the stand. Ayame was eighteen years old, long brown hair and brown eyes, and beautiful in every sense of the word.

Now Naruto was a bit of a pervert as well as a flirt, he knew it and so did almost all the female population of Konoha. But the one girl he had the utmost respect for, and the only one he would ever think of, as a sister was Ayame.

"Ayame-neechan!" said Naruto stumbling over to her. "How was your journey? I trust everything went well."

"Naruto-kun…your drunk aren't you?" said Ayame.

"That may be true but that doesn't mean I wasn't worried about you." said Naruto.

"I only went to the store down the street."

"That far." said Naruto with astonishment "…Ayame how could possibly have done it."

Ayame let out a sigh. _"There's just no talking to this boy…oh well that's why he's so fun." t_hought Ayame.

"Did you buy me anything?" asked Naruto with a hopeful glint in his eye. Ayame just shook her head. Naruto put his head down and went back to cooking. Ayame only laughed at this.

* * *

The street was dark and baron. Only two figures made there way down it, the moon lighting there path. "I swear Naruto you really got to stop, that stuff is going to kill you." said Ayame holding Naruto up with her shoulder.

Naruto had a goofy smile on, and his face was flushed from the alcohol he had in his system. "I'll stop when I'm deaddd!" declared Naruto in a drunken slurr.

"At the rate your going that won't take long." said Ayame. Naruto just continued to give his drunken smile.

They were almost to their destination when trouble happened. Several figures made there way out of an alley and surrounded the two. They were all dressed in loose clothing. Some of there cloths were actually torn. Slowly they began to surround the two of them.

One man who looked to be a little over twenty-one stepped forward. His black hair was cropped downward over his skull. He wore a loose tank top and wore similar shades to Naruto's.

"Hey beautiful." said the man. "How's about you play with us for a bit."

"Play?" said Naruto in a drunken stupor. "…Ayame-neechan you've made friends..this..this is wonderful!" Naruto then put his arm over his eyes and began to cry. "Why didn't you tell me! I thought we were friends."

The men of the gang began to smile. The boy that was with the girl was drunk. They had all thought they would have to beat him to get to her, but as it seemed it would be like taking candy from a baby.

"Yeah friends so what do you say?" said the man to Ayame. She didn't get the chance to reply, as one member of the group came up behind her and grabbed her. Her eyes narrowed, and she elbowed him in the stomach. He let go of her and doubled over, she then planted a kick to his face sending him to the ground unconscious.

"Wow…Ayame-neechan plays so rough with her friendsss." said Naruto taking another swig from the sake bottle in his hands.

Two more men came up to her. She jumped in the air with the grace of a trained shinobi and did a spin kick, hitting both her opponents in their skulls knocking them out. Another came up from behind and she threw a punch to his nose, which gave way with a snap.

The leader of the group stepped forward. She tried to throw a punch at him but he caught it with ease. "You little bitch." he said before backhanding her in the face. Her world began to spin as she was sent tumbling to the ground.

The force behind the blow had been great and she was barely conscious. "Naruto…help." she said. The leader and everyone in the group looked at the drunken boy as he stood there silently. The straw hat shadowed his eyes as they waited.

The leader with his black cropped hair took a step forward towards him. "And what is this girls little hero going to d-" he was cut off as he heard a sound coming from the boy.

He bent down slightly and took a look. Naruto's eyes were closed and his mouth hung open. Loud snores could be heard escaping from his mouth, and drool began to travel down his chin. Everyone present sweatdropped especially Ayame.

"Naruto." she said embarrassed. The leader gave a loud laugh as he turned around and looked at her.

"Were-were you really-really thinking he could help." said the man unable to contain his laughter. He let out another howl that he called a chuckle, and was about to make his way forward when something happened. An open palm backhanded him in the side of his head sending him flying into a wall knocked out on contact.

"Oy what's the big idea!" shouted out the blond drunk. Naruto stood there looking pissed, his face still flushed from the sake. "I was sleeping and this ass starts laughing loud enough to break the sound barrier."

The people present stared out in silent shock. As Naruto began to wine. "And I was having such a nice dreammm toooo."

Naruto looked around the area at everyone there. "WHERE AM I? WHO ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE!" he shouted. He began to stumble forward drunk as a fish. "I know…you were laughing to weren't you." he said walking over to one of the gang members who started to back away.

"No wait." Said the man.

"Why did you do thatttt?" slurred Naruto. Tears fell from his eyes over his flushed face. "Did you laugh because you thought I looked funny…I'll have you know I've been called handsome on a number of occasions."

Naruto's face then grew angry with rage. He slammed his fist into the gang members face sending him crashing back. "Why you.." said another gang member with a bald head and sunglasses. He threw a punch at Naruto's face.

Naruto bent backwards on a horizontal angle avoiding the punch. His arms began swimming at his sides as he tried to stay balanced. His one foot shot in the air as he was falling back hitting the bald man straight in the jaw. The force knocked him out. Naruto pivoted on his foot so that his front was facing the ground if he fell forward. Instead he began to stumble forward and in attempt to get his balance he began to run forward to keep up with the rate he was falling at.

His head slammed into a gang member's chest that was behind him, as he rammed him into a wall. Naruto lifted his head and the back of it hit the man hard in the chin rendering him unconscious. Naruto clutched the back of his head with both of his hands.

"Ow that hurttt." Naruto stood up again and looked at the remaining men as they took what looked like fighting stances. Another drunken goofy grin came on Naruto's face. "So you want to fightttt." he slurred. "I hav-have to wornnn youu I-I am a a a great fightinggg masterrrr." Naruto began to take several posses as if going threw fighting stances.

He rushed forward at one of his opponents at surprising speed, but tripped and began to summersault towards him instead. When he reached him he immediately sprung upright. He was still dizzy and had rolled too much so he appeared off balance. His forehead slammed into the man's nose. He then shoved both his wrists into the mans ribs, which was the only indication that Naruto had done that to attack. Naruto spun around and was greeted by another man.

The gang member threw a punch and him. Naruto bent backwards and landed on his knuckles. He then kicked the man in the stomach with his right foot. The man doubled over and Naruto hopped off his right foot and kicked him with it.

Naruto began to roll on his body towards another member. The man looked scared and didn't know what to expect. Naruto stopped rolling right in front of him. His eyes spinning in spirals.

"Soooo dizzzzy." said Naruto. The man smiled and lifted his foot in the air to take a step forward. However at that moment Naruto began to roll again taking the mans foot out from underneath him. The mans rear end was still sticking up in the air. Naruto got up from behind him and looked at it. He smiled.

"Never-never showwww your back to yourrr opoonent." said Naruto. As he kicked the mans but hard. The gang member sailed across the ground face first into a stone wall.

Naruto righted himself and looked around. He blinked and then looked at Ayame who was getting up off the ground. "Helllllloooo Ayame-neechan….when did you get here?" asked Naruto as he stumbled over to her.

She looked at him and then began to giggle. "Your drunk." she said.

"Am not." Said Naruto on instinct, completely ignoring the fact that at the current moment he was seeing two of her.

"Let me take you home." she said with a smile. Taking his arm and putting it over her shoulder.

Naruto gave another goofy smile and then looked around at all the men that were unconscious on the ground. "WOW Ayame-neechannn you surre are popularrr, I mean lookk at all the guys that have fallen for for you." said Naruto swinging his arm around to show all the unconscious gang members.

Ayame began to giggle which soon developed into a full-blown laughter. Like she had always thought Naruto was defiantly fun.

On a rooftop near by a silver-haired Jounin with his hiate covering his left eye and a mask watched the seen with amusement. He to gave a small laugh before he disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

* * *

Authors note: well there you go. I thought it was funny and let me tell you it was very enjoyable to write. I don't know the pairing so those of you who think it might be Ayame and don't like it don't worry because I am still uncertain. As for how Naruto was able to obtain Hokage power at such a young age. The Kyuubi has already fully merged with Naruto…at least in chakra. And don't give me reviews about how his body wouldn't be able to take it all so soon. This is my fic my world my rules, so lets just say that the seal allowed his body to handle it. I know having a super strong character might not appeal to some of you because you think, how will the character develop and grow if he is so strong? Well there is more ways to develop a character then just making them stronger.

Also incase you are wondering, Naruto just did the drunken fist. That is pretty much going to be his main style since I plan on having him drunk almost all the time. He is still just as strong as he was when he was ten…except maybe his body is tougher. He hasn't gotten any stronger because he hasn't trained; all he's done is kept his body in shape. He wears weights but they are the same ones he wore when he was ten in my fic.


	2. Chapter 2

But he's just a ramen chef!

Authors note: Like I said this is a story I really enjoy to write. Hope you all like this chapter. And please REVIEW!

Chapter two

* * *

The familiar seen of the Hokage in his office with the gathered Jounin played into the view of one Hatake Kakashi. The Jounin walked into the room late as usual. His masked face, that drove many to insanity over, was buried deep in a little orange book. A few of his colleagues eyed him angrily. 

"Well now that you have arrived I guess we can begin the team registration." said the Hokage. Kakashi only paid minor attention to the old man as he named some of the teams. "Team 7 will be lead by Hatake Kakashi, you team will consist of Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, and Hyuuga Hanabi."

Kakashi left the room after that, not needing to hear the rest. He let out a sigh, how unfortunate that this years most promising Genin would get him as a sensei. He was almost positive he would fail them. He had a lot to think about… "I could use some ramen." he said with a smile.

* * *

"No…I shouldn't…I…I have a boyfriend." said the blushing red head. 

"It pains my heart to hear you say that." said Naruto with a look of passion in his eyes. "Please allow me just a sample of what it would have been like had are paths crossed earlier."

He leaned in to kiss her, and to the surprise of many who were secretly listening and watching, she did to. There lips were mere inches apart; he could feel the heat of her breath as she drew closer.

"NARUTO!" shouted out a rough voice behind him. He was instantly smacked over the head with a frying pan. "Get back to work you lazy bum!"

Naruto rubbed his head and looked at the cook, he then turned around but found the women he had been wooing was already out the door. Clutching her blushing cheeks in embarrassment.

"Awwww man, I was this close." said Naruto holding up his hand showing his index finger and thumb merely a centimeter apart. "Heh oh well another day."

He poured some of his sake into a saucer and began to drink. He felt the sharp taste of the liquid enter his throat and gave a pleased sigh. "Excuse me, I would like to order." said a voice that was familiar to the blond.

He turned around and was greeted with the face of Kakashi. "Kakashi…" said Naruto very surprised. He took the bottle in his hand and gave it a good chug. "Sooooooo what can I get for you." Naruto gave a smile.

"One large miso." said Kakashi. Naruto nodded and took on a serious face. He rushed at the dough and began spinning out noodles. In no time at all he had it ready. He placed it in front of the man.

He stared at Kakashi's face and waited. Kakashi began to pull down his mask. Naruto began to sweat with anticipation. Suddenly something got caught in the boys nose, causing him to sneeze and look away for only a second. When he looked back he saw the bowl empty and Kakashi with his mask still adorned. He looked at it, as if it were mocking him.

"Naruto…do you mind if we talk for a while." said Kakashi. Naruto looked at him for a minute, then ushered him over to a booth.

"Why don't you ever visit meeee!" said Naruto. "It's been five years."

"I've been busy..if you were so lonely you could have visited yourself." said Kakashi.

"I to was busy…doing…uhhhhhh…stuff." said Naruto pouring some more sake into the saucer, he took another sip. Kakashi could tell he was getting tipsy and hoped he would be able to keep a conversation with the blond.

"I'm taking on a team…there about your age." said Kakashi.

"That's great…so the old man brought up the age for graduation." said Naruto.

"One of them is the old age, she's twelve."

"Hmmm I see…what do you need to tell me?"

Kakashi looked down at the table for a little while. "I need advice." he said.

"Advice…why would you think I could help." said Naruto. The two of them were silent for a little while. Naruto waited for his response.

"I normally fail a team without giving them much of a chance, however this year looks promising…I just don't know what to do. I very sure I can train them to fight very well if they pass…but there is so much more that I will be unable to teach them." said the man.

"My advice is this…give them a fair shot in your test, but make sure they fully understand what it means to be a shinobi." said Naruto with sad eyes. He took another sip of his sake. "As for what you're getting at about teaching…I have no advice."

Naruto turned and left the booth however he paused a couple steps away. He turned around and flashed a lazy smile on his slightly flushed face. "Things have a way of working out if you let them." said Naruto. "Feel free to stop by with your team anytime…it would be nice if we got a couple of regulars around here."

Kakashi smiled and waved as the boy who could have been Hokage turned and went back to work.

* * *

Naruto was getting bored he had been working for a while now. He looked at the clock and gave an agitated sigh. "I can't take this." said Naruto. He walked over to Ayame who was currently washing dishes. "Hey do you think you can cover for me, I don't feel to much like working right now." 

Ayame gave him and angry look. "Fine but you owe me Uzumaki!" she said. Naruto jumped for joy and gave her a hug.

"Thank you Ayame-neechan!" said Naruto. He was out the door in seconds.

Naruto now calmly strolled down the street tilting his empty bottle over his mouth trying to get any drops that were left. "Out." he said and threw the bottle away. He continued on his way when he sensed a presence behind him.

He turned around and saw a mess of brown hair duck behind a tree. Naruto sighed. He kept walking when he just suddenly fell forward and fell asleep. The figure that was pursuing approached him confused. The figure was a boy around twelve years old. He wore a long white T-shirt with the Konoha leaf symbol on it as well as a pair of jeans. On his brown hair he sported a pair of goggles.

"Is he…asleep?" he asked to himself. He walked up to the body that was snoozing in the middle of the road. Before he could react the boy latched onto his foot. "AHHHHHHHH! Get it off get it off!"

Naruto propped himself up. "Soooo what do you want?" asked Naruto. The boy blushed embarrassed at being caught and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I was wondering if you could help me." said the boy. Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I saw you…at the ramen stand…with that girl."

Naruto remembered the red head he almost got a kiss from, before the old man interrupted. "you saw that huh…well I guess I didn't try to hide it.." said Naruto.

The boy got down on his knees. "Please I beg you…teach me how to impress this one girl I like." said the boy.

A perverted blush came on Naruto's face. "hoho so this is about a girl, well how could I say no uhh."

"Konohamaru." responded the boy.

"Konohamaru, well lets get specifics how old is she? Your age, my age, younger!" said Naruto. "If she's ten or under I refuse to help."

"She's my age." said Konohamaru. The boy looked down at the ground. "Me and her are actually friends…see the thing is I want her to see me as something more."

Konohamaru looked back up at the boy and saw him flipping threw an orange book. "I think I can help you, I remember a similar situation between the characters Rei and Kyo…ahhhh and what a situation it wasssss." said Naruto with a perverted grin on his face. "Well let'ss get to work."

Konohamaru blinked as if realizing something. "Are you…drunk?" asked Konohamaru.

"AH thanks for reminding me I need to go buy more sake." said Naruto. "Don't worry I'm only a little tipsy right now so I can stilllllllll help you."

Konohamaru seemed to think about the situation. He then remembered Naruto with the red head. "Fine, teach me how to do what you did today…I doubt no matter what you do that she will actually go out with me…but maybe I can get her to give me at least one kiss."

"Speaking of her, may I ask what her name is?" said Naruto.

"Hitomi Moegi." said Konohamaru.

* * *

"Alright lets introduce ourselves, I am Hatake Kakashi and I don't want to tell you anything else." said Kakashi with a smile. "Okay who's next? You pinky." 

"I am Haruno Sakura…what I like is..or rather who I like is." she squeals for a second. "As for my dreams well..oh my I couldn't." her face is blushing furiously in between her hands.

"Right…you Hyuuga go." said Kakashi.

"My name is Hyuuga Hanabi, I like training…my dream is to gain the title of heir over my worthl- my less talented sister." she finished. Her face remained stony.

"Uchiha go." said Kakashi.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke there is a lot I don't like and not much I do, my dream no my ambition is to revive my clan and kill a certain man." said Sasuke.

"Well…okay meet me tomorrow at training ground seven and 4 A.M. sharp." said Kakashi. "There you guys will be given your final test."

They all looked confused. "Final test?" said Sakura. "what do you mean."

"I mean there is one more test before it is decided if you become Genin's." said the Copy-nin. "Well I'm off…oh and I wouldn't eat breakfast otherwise you'll throw up."

He then disappeared in a blur of motion leaving his stunned students behind. Sakura followed Sasuke and Hanabi went her own way.

* * *

Naruto and Konohamaru spent almost all night up thinking of ways to have Konoahamaru seduce the girl of his dreams. "ALRIGHT, lets go find her." said Naruto. 

Both of them exited the apartment complex to the streets. Both of them went to spot near the bridge and hid in a tree. Konohamaru easily jumped in it while Naruto scurried up climbing it. "Alright everyday me, Moegi, and Udon meet here." said Konohamaru.

He and Naruto waited and sure enough two figures began to make there way towards the bridge. Naruto looked at them carefully, the first was a boy that wore glasses and a black turtleneck, and he had black fingerless gloves on his hands and a small bit of snot coming out of his nose. The other was who Naruto assumed was Moegi, she had long orange-red hair that was tied into a ponytail by her neck. She had hazel eyes and on closer inspection she was definitely well endowed for her age.

Naruto gave a low whistle. "Wow girls are sure developing young these days." said Naruto. Konohamaru began to laugh. "Huh what's so funny."

"Well you see." he stopped and giggled some more. "When we were younger Moegi was very flat chested, when we played ninja she would often introduce herself as the konuichi with the body and beauty of a full grown women. Looking back on it now she is starting to live up to that." Konohamaru began to laugh some more

"Huh where is Konohamaru-kun?" asked Moegi to Udon. The boy shrugged and looked around.

"Alright kid, you are going to approach her differently I will observe from here. You can't be embarrassed when saying what I am about to tell you, say it in a way only a friend would okay." said Naruto. Konohamaru looked at him, wondering if he should rely on an alcoholic. "And remember relax." Naruto patted him hard on the back.

Konohamaru jumped down from the tree to greet his friends. "Ohoyyy, howdy guys." said Konohamaru in a cheerful attitude. "My my Moegi-chan looking good as usual."

Naruto studied the girls face closely as Konohamaru said that. He was happy to see a faint blush appear on her face. "uhh Tha-thank you Konohamaru-kun." said Moegi

"And Udon…wipe you nose." said Konohamaru. The boy took out a tissue and wiped.

"It will be back later." he said. Konohamru walked up to both of them and wrapped his arms over their shoulders. He held them close so they were all cheek to cheek, something that could be considered a welcome from a friend who was just in a good mood.

Once again Naruto studied Moegi as this happened. He saw the small blush deepen, but also observed that a small smile crept onto her face. "Konohamaru-kun are you feeling okay?" she asked.

Konohamaru blinked and looked at her, faking innocence. "Yes, why Moegi-chan?" he asked his face seeming confused.

"Uhh no reason you just seem really cheerful today." she said.

"Yeah what she said." said Udon.

"And why shouldn't I be in a cheerful mood today!" said Konohamaru. "Everyday that passes means a chance to get stronger!"

Both his friends sighed at this as they followed him to the academy. The lessons were to say the least… boring. Naruto was falling asleep from his post on a tree branch outside.

The three friends sat next to each other doing everything they could to stay awake. Konohamaru leaned over and whispered to both of them. "Hey you guys want to go see a movie tonight?" asked Konohamaru.

"Oh god do I, I've been so bored lately." said Moegi.

"Can't, its Thursday… you know what me and my family do on…Thursday." said Udon.

"Oh yeah I forgot sorry." said Konohamaru with an apologetic look on his face. However on the inside he was smirking. Truth was he knew exactly what day it was and was counting on the fact that Udon wouldn't be able to go.

"It's okay you two can go with out me."

"Okay…if your sure Udon-kun." said Moegi. The class ended a couple hours later. Konohamaru secretly wondered if Naruto was still waiting in the tree. Udon left the two of them to go home to his family and do…**it. **Moegi left for home to change quickly then she came back.

"His parents are so cruel for making him do **it** with them.( A/N: I know how it sounds perverts but its not that **it.)**" said Moegi.

"Tell me about it…so what movie do you want to see."

Moegi got stars in her eyes and Konohamaru instantly regretted asking. They ended up seeing a chick flick…at least in his opinion. However to his immense luck he had fallen asleep during the film and his head ended up resting on Moegi's shoulder. It surprised him when he woke up to find it still there.

The two of them exited the theater and walked home. It was already dark out and the streets were eerily quiet. Konohamaru observed the seen cautiously. And was rewarded for his caution by being able to duck under a fist that came around a corner.

Before either of the two knew what was what they were surrounded. "Well now what have we here." said a figure from the shadows. He had greasy black hair the cropped over his skull as well as a huge bruise on the side of his face. "She's a bit younger then I like but still she'll do."

Konohamaru put his arms out in front of her to keep her safe. They all slowly closed in. The leader gave a small wink to Konohamaru that went unnoticed by Moegi. All of them jumped in the air at once to tackle them.

Konohamaru could see how slow they were moving did a spin kick hitting all of them in the face. One got up after the hit and grabbed a hold of Moegi. He had caught her by surprise, which was the only reason she was caught at all.

He took out a knife and held it to her neck. Konohamaru instantly stopped. _"Isn't that taking it a little far?" _thought Konohamaru.. The man once again winked at him giving Konohamaru the ok.

Konohamaru rushed forward at speed that surprised even him. He was on the man in a second quickly disarming him. He then delivered a kick to his face sending him back. All the men got up and ran off.

"Yeah that right you better run." said Konohamaru.

"What was that!" said an angry looking Moegi.

"Wha-what do you mean?"

"I mean what was with that horrible acting, they let you win…did you plan this?" she had a look that promised doom to him. He looked down at the ground and sweatdropped.

"Ye-yes." he said. She gave a hmmph and stuck her chin up.

"And may I ask why?" she said.

"Because I..I was trying to impress you." he said in all honesty.

"Baka!" she said hitting him on top of the head. "You didn't need to do this." Once again he looked down at the ground ashamed. If he had looked up he would have seen her features soften. Before he knew it he felt something wet on his cheek.

He looked up and saw a blushing Moegi take a step back from him. "Maybe next time you should just ask me out." she said.

He looked very surprised at this as she walked away. He put his hand to his cheek and started grinning like an idiot.

"See our plan worked." said Naruto coming out of a bush. Konohamaru instantly got an angry look on his face and slammed his fist onto the boy's head.

"Oww what was that for?" asked Naruto.

"Plan nothing you didn't help at all! I should have just asked her out instead of wasting my time fighting those goons you threatened!" he shouted.

"Hmph…well anyways I'll see you around I guess." said Konohamaru. He then turned and left. When the boy was out of sight a lone figure made its way from the shadows of the alley to greet Naruto. He took a swig of his sake and looked at the orange-haired girl.

"Thanks for telling me he likes me." said a still blushing Moegi.

"No problem." said Naruto once again taking in some sake.

"You know you really should stop drinking…it's not right for someone your age." she said.

Naruto gave out a small laugh in reply and waved her off. He turned around and began to walk away. "Yes mom." he said.

When he was out of reach of her he began to wonder something. "I wonder what **it **is?" he asked himself.

Udon's hours… 

Naruto peeked inside the window and saw a truly horrible sight in front of him. Udon was tied up and being forced to listen to his mother sing on the Karaoke Machine. **It** was just a karaoke night…a horrible karaoke night. Naruto felt sorry for the boy.

* * *

Hyuuga Hanabi stumbled into her room exhausted. She was pissed at the fact that she and her team had barley passed the exam. She really was mad at herself for not being able to do anything of significance when sparring with there Jounin, as well as not being able to catch on to the meaning of the test. 

But still she had passed and that's all that mattered. She had heard from her father that her sister's team had passed as well. It was also because of Hinata that they had succeeded because she figured out the meaning of the test._ "Hinata…I'll show them all that I am more deserving then you."

* * *

_

Naruto and Kakashi both sat at the stand together slurping down ramen. This time Kakashi had simply cut a hole in his mask so he could eat slower. This greatly pissed off Naruto.

"Someday." he said before he started laughing evilly. Kakashi just stared at him.

"Naruto…its not even noon yet how can you be drunk?" asked Kakashi.

"What…I'm not…whatever, did you pass your team?" asked Naruto. Kakashi nodded. He seemed to have almost a far away look in his eye.

"Barely, they performed as well as any other of the teams I tested but unlike those teams I gave them a second chance and they passed." said Kakashi. "They are all unique but I wonder how I can help them."

Naruto raised and eyebrow at this. He had never heard of a challenge Kakashi couldn't really handle. "What do you mean?"

"Well you see…Haruno is more focused on getting the last Uchiha to date her then being a ninja, the Uchiha is obsessed with killing his brother and the Hyuuga…she's the worst of all." said Kakashi with a sigh. "Not only does she have that Hyuuga arrogance, shecompletely hates her sister to the point where it is almost scary."

"Why does she hate her sister?" asked Naruto. Kakashi shrugged and then thought about it.

"Her sister is the clan's heir, but she totally lacks self confidence. Hanabi thinks she is better then her and far more deserving of the title." said Kakashi. "You know if someone gave her sister a push in the right direction it could show her how wrong she is about certain things and that she still has a lot to learn."

Naruto continued to slurp down on some ramen. "Med-nin." said Naruto. Kakashi looked at him confused.

"What?" he asked.

"I'll only help her if she has the ability to be a med-nin because that is all I will train her towards." said Naruto. There was a silence between the two of them.

Naruto got up and left the stand. It was completely within his right to do so since it was his day off. He thought about some things in his head as he headed towards the training ground. He felt the chakra he was looking for and headed towards it

* * *

Authors note: Well I'm ending it here for now what do you think? Good? Bad? Tell me. Any who I decided I am going to give you a list for possible pairings for this story and you can vote. Only vote for one of the girls specified. The two top pairings will be the pairing as this is a love triangle story at least I think so…what is it called when two girls like the same guy but he doesn't notice really…anyway your choices are… 

**Hinata** (She could work for this story since I plan on having Naruto help her out.)

**Hanabi **(I want Naruto to help her not be so arrogant, if you vote it she'll develop feelings for him because of the way he helped her.)

**Sakura **(This is one of my favorite pairings and I rarely see a fic where it is done well, at least in my opinion, besides Naruto has a thing of respect in my story for med-nins, which she eventually becomes.)

**Ayame** (They are coworkers that have a brother sister bond…what if it develops into something more?)

**Tsunade** (Gasp! He put her as a choice. Like I said Naruto has respect for med-nins. I will have it so it's not so weird…no she won't become a teenager again, but I might tweak it so that she actually looks the way she does and its not a Genjutsu. Also I kind of like the idea of this pairing.)

**Kurenai **( I Like the idea of him with an older chick, besides I can have fun with this because not much is really known about her.)

**Anko **(Same reason as Kurenai, but also I can picture her as a happy drunk like Naruto and that would be funny.)

Well there are your choices. I am fully aware of how many NaruHina fans are out there, so I say to you just consider what my story would be like if he was with someone else. Because as it stands I feel Hinata will win without the other girls really having a chance and I don't want that. However I wont' remove her because I love her character.

IMPORTANT! Don't give me reviews that say who you DON't want him to be with. They throw me off. Also please only vote once, well kind of twice but for the other girl you would like it to be. Remember my story will be a GirlNarutoDifferentGirl story.

The Voting starts for this chapter, any people that said who they wanted last time should vote again so it counts.


	3. Chapter 3

But he's just a ramen chef!

Authors note: hi everyone its me like I've said before I really enjoy writing this fic. Hope you like it to. I don't really know when I'll update other stories, it really depends on the mood I'm in. And I am normally in the mood for this story. REVIEW! I got a bunch last chapter so I know your out there. I know its selfish but it makes me feel good.SORRY! But thank you all that did review it meant a lot to hear your opinion.

Warning: I realize that this story might have some suggestive themes! I believe that as teenagers who are likely reading this, you are mature enough to handle it. Because personally I don't think this story deserves an M rating. I don't want this story to be deleted so if anyone out there feels at any time that I might be crossing the line please tell me. Line button isn't working sorry.

Chapter three

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Naruto carefully walked into the training field. It was getting late but he could feel the signature he was looking for up ahead. Though he had never met her personally, Kakashi had told him of her and her team. This was there training ground so it made sense that it would be her.

He came into view of the clearing and saw a girl with bluish-black hair. She was currently beating up a training dummy using her family's style. Naruto studied her closely; her movements were graceful yet he could sense she was holding back power.

He wondered why that was considering it was only a training dummy. He continued to study her and his eyes wondered. A perverted blush came on to his face. She tried to hide with that large coat of hers but Naruto could see. "_At the age of fifteen she has a D-cup." t_hought Naruto.

She turned around and looked at him with large white eyes. "Wh-who are y-you." said Hinata. Naruto looked in her eyes and could tell she was slightly worried about him.

"_Nervous and shy huh." t_hought Naruto. He put on a huge goofy smile and walked towards her. "Greetings Konuichi-san!" said Naruto in a cheerful voice.

Hinata seemed a little surprised at his greeting. Naruto had expected that much; he currently gave off a presence that was completely unthreatening.

"And may I ask what you are doing on this fine day." said Naruto.

"Training…" said Hinata in a hesitant low tone voice

"Ohhhhhhhh, I see I see… care to take a break and join me in a drink of sake?"

"S-ss-sorry, I'm fif-fifteen." she stuttered out.

"As am I, but I guess you don't have to drink if you don't want to." said Naruto sitting down in front of her cross-legged.

"Ex-excuse me bu-t who-who ar-are you?" she managed.

"Me?" said Naruto pointing at himself. He then brought his hand to his chin and closed his eyes in deep thought. "I am….THE WORLDS GREATEST RAMEN CHEF! Uzumaki Naruto."

Hinata's eyes widened slightly. His introduction had caught her completely off guard.

"And you are Hyuuga Hinata correct?" he asked. She gave a nod. "Well then…" Naruto got up his presence suddenly seemed much darker. His large straw hat covered his eyes and blackened his face. He was by her side in a second. She closed her eyes in shock, but then she felt the rather fast pats on the back he was giving her. "This is when you say it's nice to meet you Naruto." he laughed.

She looked at him a little surprised. There was once again no ill air around him. "so-sorry, it's ve-very nice to me-meet y-you." she said.

"There you go; that' s how you greet someone." he said, not stopping from patting her on the back.

"Sorry bu-but m-may I ask w-what you w-want?" she said.

"Why to gaze up at the stars with a beautiful girl." said Naruto. Her face turned a tremendous shade of red in seconds. Of all the things she thought he would say that was not one of them. "Just kidding." She let out a sigh and her blush faded. "There are no stars out tonight."

Her face became red again at what he had implied. "oh." she said.

"Actually what I am here for is much more complicated." said Naruto. She looked at him confused. "I have a friend who is currently training your sister…and threw a strange series of circumstances he wants me to help train you."

Hinata became even more confused. "B-but you-r ju-just a ramen chef.?" she questioned.

"No your wrong." said Naruto adopting a lazy but more serious tone. Hinata looked at him curious. "I am the WORLDS GREATEST RAMEN CHEF!"

She sweat dropped and looked at the ground. "I a-am v-v-very so-rry but I do-don't see how you can can help." she said.

"You hold back in your blows." stated Naruto taking a sip of his sake saucer. Hinata looked up at him her eyes wide with surprise. "Your style is graceful and perfect, but you are moving slower then what you are actually capable of…you hold back because you are afraid."

Her big white eyes filled with shock. "H-how did you…w-who are you?" asked Hinata.

"I told you…I am Uzumaki Naruto, worlds greatest ramen chef." said Naruto. "You don't like hurting people soooo…how would you like to save them?"

"Wh-what do you m-mean?" she questioned. Naruto took a scroll out of his sleeve and threw it at her.

"There are some medical techniques in that scroll…I will help you learn them, as well as help you with a taijutsu style that flows perfectly with your Jyuuken." said Naruto. "Well now I'll be going."

"W-wait, aren't you go-going to he-help me train?" asked Hinata.

Naruto froze up solid in mid-step he slowly turned his head to face her. "Y-you mean right now?" said Naruto. Hinata gave a confused nod. Naruto fell to his knees and crawled over to her. Tears now in his eyes. "I already gave you a scroll what more do you want…I'm so…so tired I need to sleep. Please allow me rest."

"oh okay." said Hinata. Naruto was off the ground in a blink.

"Well then as I said I'm off." said Naruto. "A few rules, One you train everday in this period, as a new Genin your sensei should let you off at about noon that is when you will meet me here. Two, train in this on your own if I cannot help you. Three you tell no one."

"E-even my-my father?" she asked. Naruto gave her a shocked look.

"Especially your father!" he shouted. "Well now that's it."

He left the way he came down the path. Hinata just stared at his retreating form. She could see from there he was drinking sake. "What have I gotten myself into?" she asked herself and went home.

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Home was not one of the kindest places for Hinata. She was the weakest in her clan, but also it heir. On a good note many of the branch members were nice to her, but that was as far as it went. She was a failure in her father's eyes, but at the end of the day…she was happy.

Truth was it wasn't really a bad life for her. She was never abused…except in training and that was due to her own self-confidence. She looked at the scroll gripped in her hand. "A chance to be stronger." She said to herself. She walked down the halls of her mansion towards her room.

She bumped into her sister as she came around the corner. She looked at Hanabi and saw her eyes narrow. It was no secret to Hinata that Hanabi hated her…truth was it was probably the only thing that made her sad.

She unconsciously gripped the scroll in her hands tighter and walked into her room closing her door. She was up most of the night studying.

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Naruto woke up with his head pounding. "_What did I do last night?" _he thought. He slowly rose from his bed to greet the day. His apartment to say the least was huge. Nobody lived in the building so Naruto knocked out the walls to all the different apartments in the building and joined them together.

His eyes were heavy as his feet walked across the cold floorboards. He sneezed a few times; it was obviously cold in his apartment. He walked into his bathroom and took a hot shower, something that instantly woke him up. He walked over to the bathroom mirror and began to brush his teeth.

As he was brushing he noticed something in the mirror. On his right shoulder there was some kind of red mark. He washed out his mouth then looked down at his shoulder. His eyes widened in horror.

On his shoulder was a red heart shaped tattoo. "I…I got a tattoo…I GOT A TATTOO!" shouted Naruto as he started to cry. He looked at it again and noticed somebody's name inside it. "WHO THE HELL IS ANKO!"

Across town a purple haired women, still recovering from her own hangover, was looking at the new piece of body art that now marked her arm. "WHO THE HELL IS NARUTO!" she shouted.

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Naruto walked towards the ramen stand rubbing his arm. After finding his new addition he immediately ran to the tattoo shop and had it removed. It hurt…a lot. However he took off the bandage and found it already healing.

The fox had died the day he fully merged with Naruto when he was seven. However do to the tremendous amount of chakra now contained in his body, if he simply allowed a little to seep out of him, any wound he had would begin to heal.

The day was sunny but there was something more to it. A sense of peace was around the village. Naruto secretly wondered what it was, because something was definitely quieter. He walked into the ramen stand and got his answer.

"Ayame-neechan…where's your dad?" he asked.

"He's on that trip he goes on every five years or so." said Ayame. "He won't be back for months."

Naruto had a look of absolute astonishment plastered on his face. He then looked at the sky and put his hands together. "Thank you." he said. Finally the old man had taken a vacation and was out of his hair. No more do this or do that. He was a free man; he could sleep in the kitchen without rudely being woken up.

Ayame just looked at him and her face fell. "Naruto…you and me are now in charge of the stand…you'll have to work twice as hard." she said.

And any peace that seemed to have been in the day shattered before Naruto's eyes. "no…" he said in a depressed voice. He crawled up in a corner and started to cry. "Is this revenge old man! You had this planned from the beginning didn't you!"

"No sulking!" shouted Ayame as she slapped him over the head with a frying pan.

Naruto now had a large bump growing on his head. He looked up at the girl who had done it and saw an image of her father overlap her. "NOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Naruto as he began throwing random objects at her to keep her away. "STAY BACK STAY BACK" Comedic tears were streaming down his face.

Ayame stared blankly at him, and then at the mess he was creating. She cracked her knuckles." Naruto…" she said as she drew closer. Naruto just continued screaming.

The ladies that came to the stand just couldn't figure it out. Instead of the extremely attractive lazy ramen chef that would always hit on them, there was this hard working young man who looked like his face had been trampled by horses.

Naruto spun some noodles out grumbling. "She didn't have to be so rough." he said as he put more ice in an ice pack on his head. Due to his healing factor the bruises and bumps were already going away.

He looked over at Ayame who was giving a customer his order with a smile. "Thank you for coming to Ichiraka's ramen." she said with a bow.

"Conniving manipulative demon." Naruto mumbled. He looked at the sake that was just behind her. Her back was turned so she couldn't possibly know. He slowly stalked over to it. His hand reaching out, he was only inches away.

"Touch that sake Naruto-kun and you're dead." said Ayame in a cheerful voice. Naruto looked over at her at her and saw her back was still turned. Even though he couldn't see her face he could tell it still had that same smile it had when she gave the ramen to the customer. That smile combined with the cheery tone she was using scared the crap out of Naruto. She was like one of those killers that you saw in horror films that paid no mind to what they just did.

"Yes sir, don't kill me." said Naruto instantly going back to work. The day dragged on and Naruto couldn't help but feel he was forgetting something

He worked even harder but still that feeling wouldn't go away. And then it hit him. Naruto hung his head low. "Ah crap." he said. He slowly walked over to Ayame who was still at the counter. "Ayame-neechan." he said in a voice that sounded like an upset five year old. She immediately turned and looked at him.

"What?" she asked.

"There is really something important that I got to do today…actually I practically got to do it everyday…you can cut my pay but I need to get out of here." said Naruto not meeting her eyes.

"…This isn't some trick and your gonna leave and just get drunk are you?" she asked promising doom if he was. Naruto shook his head back and forth at a wild pace. "Alright then you may go."

"Yatta!" shouted out Naruto and with that he ran out the door. Ayame was instantly regretting her decision.

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Hinata was a very patient person but even she had her limits. _"I know he said he wouldn't always come but this is the first day."_ She thought. She then began wondering if this was all a big mistake and that the man was just playing with her.

But then she saw it, a figure leaving a trail of dust in his wake as he ran towards her area. "SORRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYY!" could be heard from the distance.

He arrived with an abrupt stop, which kicked up a lot of dust. Hinata began to cough. "I-its o-okay I wa-sn't wa-iting to to long." she said.

Naruto began scratching his head. His straw hat was on his back attached to his neck by a string. He basically wore what he had the day before, except the orange button-up-over shirt seemed even bigger and looser. "Alright lets see where to begin." Naruto sat down and folded his legs and began to think. "I know I want you to go threw all your taijutsu steps." he brought his straw hat over his head so it covered his eyes.

Hinata nodded and got into her stance and she practiced. She went threw all the stances. When she was done she looked over at Naruto for a sign to stop. He showed none so she continued. She did this for hours waiting patiently for Naruto to give her the okay to stop so he could help her with her form, but it never came. She practiced at a constant speed wearing out by the second.

Finally she became too tired and collapsed. "I…I can't con-continue Na-Naruto-sensei." she said. She looked up at her sensei and he sat there unmoving. Then Hinata heard it; it was the sound of snoring. Hinata's mouth dropped open in shock.

"_Was he asleep this entire time…did he even study what I was doing?" _Hinata found herself becoming slightly angry, but she let it go. She was to kind to ever really get angry.

Naruto's head fell forward and he woke up. "That was very good, now lets see what else should you do." He got in the thinking position again.

Hinata watched as he sat there for what seemed like hours, but it was actually about thirty minutes before Hinata decided to say something.

"Umm…e-excuse m-me but maybe I I can sh-show you what I le-learned from the s-s-scroll.." she said.

Naruto looked at her with a dark face but it instantly brightened up as he put on a goofy grin. "That's a great idea!" he shouted holding up two fans with the word 'great' on them.

"o-okay here I g-go." she stuttered. She turned slightly to concentrate and she began to form seals. Naruto watched as green chakra incased her left hand.

Naruto studied her as she was concentrating. _"Because she is a Hyuuga, she has amazing control…her only problem is self-confidence. She basically will let people walk all over her." _thought Naruto.

Hinata cut herself with a kunai and then put her glowing hand over it. It then began to seal up leaving unmarked skin in its place. Hinata looked over at her teacher to see what he thought. Her eyes widened slightly as she looked at him. Loud snores erupted from where he sat.

"Is he…sleeping…again." she said to herself. She crawled over to him and poked him. "ex-excuse me Na-naruto-sensei."

He just continued to snore away. Hinata just stared at him before a small tinge of anger formed in her stomach, but it was quickly doused by her own sadness. "_I just put him to sleep…am I that hopeless?"_ she asked herself. She then thought of last night when she bumped into her sister. "_No I need to be stronger."_

At that point Naruto seemed to wake up. "Oh..uhh…that was a nice nap. Now lets see your jutsu." said Naruto.

"Go-gomen, bu-but I already did th-the j-jutsu…ca-can I ha-have another scroll?" she asked.

Naruto just stared at her but smiled. "Alright here you go." he said throwing her another scroll. He then got up and walked over to a tree.

"E-excuse m-me but where a-are you going?" she asked.

"Me?" said Naruto pointing at himself. "I'm going over to this tree to plan out your training…don't bother me until you complete that scroll though."

She nodded and opened the scroll. Naruto walked over the tree and brought his straw hat up over the back of his head.

Hinata stared at the scroll in shock.

**Chikatsu Saisei no Jutsu: **_A very advanced healing technique, this jutsu uses a part of the patient's body as a medium to heal their wounds. It requires an almost room-wide seal, and a lot of time. _

Hinata read on about the jutsu, the seals required, as well as the design that was supposed to be painted on the floor. It was incredibly advanced, it talked about stuff she didn't even know yet. "_How am I suppoused to do this…I just learned how to heal small cuts and now I'm supposed to know how to use mediums."_ she thought.

She looked over at her new sensei. He had his back to her and his straw hat covered the back of his head. His posture made him look like he was in deep consentration. _"He said not to bother him until I finish this scroll and he looks like he is wokring hard in deep consentration right now I shouldn't bother him…maybe I'm looking at this all wrong" _she thought as she looked back at the scroll.

Hinata was there for hours simply trying to manipulate her chakra in the correct fashion. But it was hopless she had no clue how to use mediums or make painted seals. She looked over at her sensei again he remained in place unmoving.

"_I need help, surly he'll understand."_

She walked over to his still form and stopped a couple of feet from his back. "Gomen, N-na-naruto-sensei but I-I can't fig-figure out this s-scroll…can –you help m-me?" she said. Naruto sat completely still, not moving. At first Hinata thought she had made him angry but then another thought came into her head. _"is it possible that he's sleeping again."_ At the idea of this that same anger returned. This time it stayed for quite some time, but once again she let it go, he may not be asleep. She walked up in front of him and what she saw was a thousand times worse.

He wasn't even there, a dummy had been dressed up like him and put where he was. The straw hat had covered the back of his head so she couldn't see the wood. Now this time the anger came and it didn't leave. She activated her bloodline and ran towards the village to look for him.

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"Hurray for Naruto-sama!" shouted out a few drunk Jounin one of them being Kakashi. Naruto stood in front of them holding his sake bottle high. His face slightly flushed. They were currently all at Ichiraku's ramen stand drinking.

"That's right boys drinks are on me!" he shouted. Ayame was currently out on errands and had closed up shop, but Naruto had reopened it for Kakashi and his buddies.

Naruto took another long swig of his sake and let out a pleased sigh. "This has been such a rough day for me." said Naruto.

Hinat walked into the stand just in time to here him say that. Her anger was amplified ten fold. Everyone in the room felt the killing intent and turned to see Hinata. Pissed could not even come close to describing the way she looked.

Naruto smirked on the inside. "_Lets see what you do."_

Hinata clenched her fists. Her eyes shadowed by her hair, and her body trembled with anger. "You…" she said. "You…WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

Naruto looked at her confused. "What do you mean Hinata-chan, I did all I could for you." said Naruto.

Hinata glared daggers at him. "YOU DIDN'T TRAIN ME AT ALL!" she shouted. " ALL YOU DID WAS SLEEP, YOU DIDN'T HELP ME OR EVEN TRY TOO! YOU CAME TO ME REMEMBER, YOU CAME TO ME SAYING YOU WOULD HELP AND YET YOU DID NOTHING. AND THEN I COME HERE AND FIND YOU SAYING YOU'VE HAD A TOUGH DAY! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A WORTHLESS GOOD FOR NOTHING DRUNK AND A LOUSY TEACHER!"

Hinata finished her shouting and began to pant heavily. She stared at the ramen chef who had a surprised look on his face. He seemed to look hurt for a second and Hinata regretted some of her words. But then just like that he smiled a true smile that made Hinata feel happy for some reason.

He walked over to her and patted her on the back. "Good job." said Naruto his smile never leaving his face.

Hinata had a confused look on. "I don't understand…aren't you mad that I said you were a lousy teacher?" asked Hinata.

"Hinata-chan… their is more to teaching someone then how to throw a punch or blast off a jutsu." said Naruto. Hinata just continued to stare at him in confusion. "It felt good right…to let it all out and not let someone walk all over you."

Hinata nodded. "Yeah but-" Hinata was cut off as he began to speak again.

"Hinata-chan, before I can teach you to save someone's life…you have to learn to live your own." he said.

Hinata stared at him in a whole new light. When he had said those words he had seemd much older and wiser. However all serious vanished as he put on a goofy drunken smile.

"Now I'm not saying blow up at people like that ever again just stick up for youself." he said laughing. "From now on I will take your training seriously…you have good style but as I'm sure you know you lack confidence, which holds you back. We're going to fix that."

And with that he shoed her out of the ramen stand towards her home. When she left Naruto turned around and face all the Jounin. "What are you doing guys lets continue to party!" shouted out Naruto drinking more sake. The men gave a cheer and continued as well. However that didn't last long as Naruto felt another killer intent behind him, this one a thousand times worse then Hinata's.

Naruto slowly turned around to see the presence of a demon. "Oh…hay Ayame-neechan…what's up."

Naruto was smacked so hard with the frying pan that everyone present felt it, and soon after they quickly ran for there lives.

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_The smell of decay was heavy in the air. Smoke and blood flew into the sky surrounding the battle field. Bodies littered everywhere all dead, except for one lone figure. He stood around the bodies blood coating his hands and form. His eyes were angry with electric blue. He turned around and saw another form standing. He took a step back at the appearance of a five year old girl. Her eyes were placed in eternel shadow, and her mouth was set in a frown. _

"_Monster." She said. Tears swept down her cheeks and suddenly the world seemed blank for the figure._

Naruto slowly opened his eyes to his dark bedroom. He rose from the covers at a slower then normal pace. He placed his feet on the cold floorboards and got up. He moved past all the objects in the darkness with practiced ease and made his way towards the kitchen.

His eyelids looked heavy as he poured himself a glass of sake and drank. He drank until he was ready to pass out into a dreamless sleep.

Just like he did every night…

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A/N: Well there you go hope you like it. The next one I hope will be longer. I know the ending might have been a little strange but I like it. I happen to like poetic like endings that have a deeper meaning to them like this one. But then again maybe I'm overestimating myself and I didn't make the meaning clear.

**Hanabi:** 37

**Anko: **35

**Hinata: **22

**Ayame: **22

**Kurenai: **20

**Tsunade: **17

**Sakura:** 10

Well there you go those are the current statistics and let me tell you I was surprised at the shear amount of people for Hanabi. But now let me ask you something.

**Should I throw caution to the wind and just make this a Harem fic where he gets all the girls listed?**

**Should I up the amount of girls to three or four for Naruto?**

**Or should I keep it the same and have it the top two?**

Let me know as it means the majority will get more enjoyment out of this fic. But let me point out that I think I can pull off the mulipairing thing quite well. I know some people don't like it because its never believable but let me tell you my stories are always written the same way in plot and depth regardless of the pairing. Also keep voting for you favorite girl to take the top spot as I plan to keep the pairing vote up for two more chapters. The new poll will end after this chapter when I update again as I just want a general understanding how you guys feel. I don't need it open six chapters to figure that out.

Be gentle in your reviews, I know my grammar needs some work, as does my spelling, but I don't want a beta because it is too much trouble to figure out and then DO. So don't give me suggestions about it. Sorry I know it doesn't make sense but please be respectful of my decision.

Oh and before I forget… I will never write a Yaoi fic. I don't have a problem with gays or anything I just don't write Yaoi or read it. If you do that's cool I'm not saying its bad but don't look here to see two guys kissing.

WARNING: Haku is going to survive and be semi made fun of by characters questioning his sexuality. He really isn't gay though, but if anyone somehow gets affended by it I am apologizing now.


	4. Chapter 4

But he's just a ramen chef!

Authors note: STOP THE VOTING NOWWWW! Well after reading all your reviews I find myself even more confused then when I started. But this is what I have come up with and what I am doing. Keep in mind that this is not a romance fic, it is just something that develops to keep the story interesting on a different level. There is still enemies to be fought and defeated and schemes that need to be stopped.

Alright here is what I think, since Hanabi and Anko were the top two they are definitely going to be major in the romance. This is basically a Harem because more people wanted that. Tsunade will once again play a more mother role in this fic. Hinata is going to be in the pairing but as I said it is going to be more in depth with Hanabi and Anko. Ayame is going to play a sister towards Naruto but in the end she does love him as something more, but that is how there relationship is going to develop.

Temari, Ino, and Tenten, they were not originally going to be involved much because I didn't really think I would make this a Harem fic. I am still undecided on how far they will go with Naruto you will have to see.

ALL SAKURA HATERS I suggest you stop reading this fic for the simple fact that Sakura will not be abused in any way. Personally I love her like I love Hinata, it is just a pairing that is fun to read. I don't mind if you don't like Sakura that's your opinion, but please keep that hate out of your reviews. Like I said I am not criticizing you if you don't like her that's fine, some of you actually give good reviews but please keep your opinion of her out. Sorry but I don't like reading people randomly say they don't like her. As it currently stands those of you who said that you just plain didn't want her in the pairing, that is fine I am still undecided but she will most likely play a sister like role. SHE WILL BE IMPORTANT.

Those of you who are against Hanabi…you all completely ignored the voting system by saying he shouldn't be with her despite the fact she was in the lead. I understand that she seems a little young, but he is not going to start dating her at this age or even flirt with her. He is basically going to…well you'll see in this chapter what I mean.

Shizune…at first I didn't even consider her but after doing some deep soul searching I have decided on this. Since Tsunade is going to be like a mother and Sakura is only going to gain feelings that of a sister for him(**still undecided about that with Sakura, just considering it)** I have decided that Shizune will in fact…be in the pairing. Congrats to the select few that really wanted this.

And finally those who are for Kurenai, I love this pairing as well. Since I plan on making her Anko's friend, she is going to fall for Naruto with out realizing it through his meetings with Anko**( side note: Anko and Naruto are going to get intimate fast because they are both playful, Naruto is just going to think of it as fooling around, but to Anko she is going to start feeling something more from it.)**

And there you go one of the longest authors notes I ever wrote, sorry if I wasted your time but I thought these things needed to be addressed. Please don't criticize my choice on how to do this. It took me a while to think about so my opinion won't change.

Here you go…

Chapter four

* * *

Naruto opened his eyes groggily; his head was pounding with a massive hangover. He looked around the apartment and noticed it wasn't his. He moved his foot in the bed and found another foot in it. He then became aware of the situation he was in when he realized he wasn't wearing any clothes. 

Naruto slowly began to turn his head towards his companion silently praying. _"Please say it's a girl please say it's a girl." h_e chanted in his head. He finally laid eyes on her. She was definitely attractive, the sheets folded nicely on her curves.

"SAFE!" shouted Naruto getting out of the bed holding out two fans that said the word 'safe' on them. He looked at the clock and noticed that it was just before opening time for Ichiraku's.

He quickly got dressed and exited threw the window, and made his way towards the ramen stand. He was down the street towards his destination in a matter of seconds. As he drew closer the sight of bright pink hair came into his eyes.

* * *

Sakura stood outside the ramen stand her sensei had said to meet at. Her teammates weren't even there yet; in fact the place wasn't even open. Sakura let out a sigh, her teammates had caught on to the fact that Kakashi was always late and probably wouldn't be there for a while. 

She looked at the closed up setup of the stand and her mind wondered to what she was doing. She was by far the weakest on her team, and didn't have a clue on how to get stronger. She thought back to the words of her sensei.

Flashback…

_Sakura stood at the bridge with her teammates. Kakashi was currently giving them the go ahead to leave. They had been doing D-rank missions for about a week now._

"_Well that's it your dismissed." said Kakashi. They all began to leave. "Uhh one moment Sakura." _

_The young pink haired girl turned to her sensei with a curious look. Kakashi let out a sigh, as he seemed to be debating something within himself. Sakura could only wonder what._

"_Sakura…how serious are you about being a shinobi?" asked Kakashi. Sakura took a step back in surprise at this._

"_What do you mean sensei?" asked Sakura. However deep down she knew._

"_Sakura I'm sorry but your performance as a shinobi is…sad." said Kakashi trying to be as nice about it as possible. "You have made little contribution to your team in missions, and your actual skill level is below average."_

_Kakashi saw the sadness gather behind the girls eyes but continued on. This had to be said. "Your control is good but that is only because you have less then an average kounichi. But your biggest problem is your lack of focus, your always looking towards the Uchiha to see what he will do."_

_His words hurt but Sakura knew they were true. Holding back her feelings she asked. "What should I do?"_

_Kakashi closed his visible eye and seemed to be enveloped by deep thought. "You need some ramen." said Kakashi. Sakura sweat dropped. "Not just you but the rest of the team from now on our new meeting spot will be a place called Ichiraku's. Have you heard of it?"_

_Sakura nodded. The ramen stand was rather well known for its spectacular food. She had never eaten there for the simple fact that she hadn't been interested in eating ramen. "Okay then well I'm off to tell the others." Said Kakashi disappearing in an instant._

"_Wait Kakashi-sensei!" she shouted after him, but he was long gone. "You didn't tell me how to get stronger."_

_End of Flashback

* * *

_

"Excuse me." A boy around her age brought Sakura out of her musings. He had rather long blond hair done in a ponytail, purple wire-framed sunglasses that seemed rather small, as they didn't fully cover his eyes, and a large straw hat. His clothing was rather loose as well as orange, but anyone with eyes could see he was well built.

"Do you want to get into the stand?" he asked.

"Yes…I'm meeting my team here." said Sakura. The boy nodded. He walked over to the closed off stand and removed a key. He unlocked the bottom latch and pulled the metal wall up.

He then proceeded behind the counter into the kitchen. "Now what can I get for you?" he asked. Sakura looked at him with a quizzical expression, but realization dawned upon her that he was the cook. "I'm sorry but I don't really like ramen."

The boy looked a little surprised but then gave a small chuckle. "Then you haven't tried my cooking." he said. He was done in seconds Sakura was beyond surprised at that. The food now in front of her definitely looked delicious.

"I'm sorry but I don't have money." she said.

"No no the first one is free." said the boy. Sakura looked hesitant at first but took a bite…and couldn't stop.

The food was like heaven in her mouth, its flavor just seemed to melt perfectly into her taste buds. To her surprise she was finished rather quickly.

"UZUMAKI NARUTO GREATEST RAMEN CHEF NEVER FAILS TO PLEASE!" he shouted. "You won't find a better miso or any ramen for that matter."

"Thank you, it was very good." said Sakura.

"No problem." said Naruto. "Soooooo your waiting for your team right?"

Sakura nodded at this. "Yes, Kakashi-sensei says we'll meet here every morning from now on."

"Oh so your Kakashi's student." said Naruto.

"Yes do you know him?"

"Yeah, you could say that…me and him go way back." said Naruto with a far away look in his eyes. "Have another ramen bowl I'll add it to Kakashi's tab."

He placed another bowl in front of her and she bowed her head in thanks and began eating. Naruto looked at her as she enjoyed the food, a perverted blush came onto his face. _"Sure the pink hair is kind of weird, but she's definitely developing nice…I'd say a B-cup at least." _She stopped eating and looked at him and where his eyes were. Her eyebrow twitched.

"And what may I ask are you looking at?" she said. Naruto blinked and then composed himself.

"Sorry I just like watching people enjoy my cooking." he lied. Her eyebrow lowered and she seemed to relax.

"Oh alright." she said. Naruto smirked on the inside and let out a small sigh.

"that was close." he whispered to himself. "So mind if I ask what is bothering you?"

Sakura stopped eating and looked up at the boy. She looked rather surprised at his statement. "And may I ask why you think something is bothering me?" she asked.

Naruto put his elbow on the counter and leaned forward. "When I first saw you, you had a far away look in your eyes." he said smoothly.

Sakura didn't know why but the way he said that line made her blush slightly. It almost sounded poetic. However she understood what he was asking.

"Well…you see as a shinobi…" she appeared to be in deep conflict with herself as she tried to speak. "I'm…I'm…a failure."

Naruto looked a little surprised but quickly covered it up with a neutral expression._ "What the hell has Kakashi been doing to her?"_ were his thoughts.

"Care to explain?" he asked.

"In the academy, I was always really good with all the written stuff." she said. "I studied and got A's on my test's, I memorized the entire shinobi code word for word, and I even know almost the entire history of Konoha."

Naruto looked at her thoughtfully, understanding where she was going with this. "Because of all this…I was second highest Kounchi in my grade level. I thought that meant I was a good shinobi but…"

"You got a taste of what you really have to do." Naruto finished. She looked up at him a little surprised. "Those things that you studied so hard at are technically useless in field."

Sakura looked downcast at that. "In combat knowing which Hokage discovered the village or what #23 is in the code isn't going to help you…but it's not you fault." he said.

She looked back up to him confused. "What do you mean?"

"It's the fault of the academy." he said. "Basing one's ranking and status upon how well you did on the academic level is not only useless but cause for concern. They told you, you were doing fine so you never had reason to aim for something else."

"But still that stuff is important isn't it, like the understanding of chakra?" she asked.

"Understanding chakra and using it to a degree that is affective are different things." said Naruto. "Even if you understand and are still able to control it well, it won't make a difference if you don't have enough to do any jutsu."

"So what should I do?" she said staring at the boy who seemed so wise.

"How the hell should I know." he said while picking his nose. Sakura sweat dropped at this.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW'?" she shouted. "YOU WERE AN EXPERT A MINUTE AGO!"

"What do you expect I'm a ramen chef not a ninja." He said flatly taking out a bottle and taking a sip from it. "I just said what seemed right based on what you said, that doesn't mean that I was correct in my assumptions."

Sakura sighed and looked down. _"So this guys useless."_

"_**Yeah this sucks.." said inner Sakura.**_

"However it doesn't mean I was wrong either."

Sakura considered his words for a minute. "Well then…based on what you heard what do you think I should do?" she asked.

"No clue." he said with a smile once again shutting her down. Sakura nearly fell and was on the verge of comedic tears. "However one thing doesn't make since about what you told me."

Sakura had her head on the counter, she wasn't even sure if she should listen to the chef anymore. "Yeah and what's that?" she said with little hope that whatever he would say was worth it.

"Why didn't you train at all?" he asked. Sakura looked up at him confused. "I mean I understand you were studying but that couldn't have taken up all your time, so like what were you doing?"

Sakura blushed as she thought about it. She hadn't been training at all. Those times when she had free time she just stalked the Uchiha with the rest of the girls. The words of her sensei came back to her at that moment.

"_Your biggest problem is that you lack focus."_

His words rung in her head, she had studied so hard so that she could be a good student and not be a brain dead moron. However when it came time for physical work she just watched Sasuke.

"Well you see…um…I was watching…this boy I like." she said blushing. Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You see every girl in my year has a crush on Sasuke, an well I was always with them trying to get a date."

Naruto looked slightly confused. "Why did the idea of him dating you seem to excite you?" he asked. "If its romance you want then here."

He took out a small orange book and Sakura instantly recognized it as he handed it to her. She was twitching slightly and was about to slam it in his face when she saw his serious look. "Instead of stalking Sasuke train during that time, and since you seem to want that whole romance thing read this at night before you go to sleep." he said.

She looked very confused but decided what could hurt in trying it. "Okay…thank you." she said.

"You might want to leave and go do something physical for a while." said Naruto. "Kakashi probably won't be here for another couple of hours."

A vein grew in Sakura's head at hearing this, and she left muttering something about 'late senseis'.

As the pink haired girl left, Ayame walked in. "So we had a costumer this early huh?" she asked. Naruto nodded. She then starred at him with a look of annoyance. "Yeah right."

Naruto looked very confused at this. "Wha-what do you mean."

"YOU WERE FOOLING AROUND WITH HER WEREN'T YOU!" she shouted.

"WHA!" Naruto's mouth dropped open and he started to shake his head viciously back and forth. "No no no no no no no all we did was talk I swear."

Ayame looked at him unbelieving. "Well anyways get to work." she said.

Naruto then shook his head. "Sorry I need to leave early as in right now."

Ayame stared at him in disbelief. "Your kidding right." It wasn't a question it was a statement.

At that moment Naruto ran out of their full speed. "NARUTO!" was heard from behind him.

* * *

Naruto landed in the training field where a certain Hyuuga girl was waiting. Her sensei Kurenai was currently out on a mission, giving them the day off. 

"Welcome Naruto-sensei." she said in a quiet voice. Even though she didn't stutter anymore she was still incredibly shy. But that's why Naruto was grinning.

"Here." he said handing out his second copy of the day to the young girl.

"wha-what is it?" she asked confused at the picture on the front of the book.

"A perverted 'adult' novel." said Naruto. Hinata's jaw nearly fell out of its socket. "I got the idea only moments ago when I helped a girl learn to focus on something else."

Hinata didn't even want to know the circumstances that would give Naruto an idea like this while he was apparently helping out another girl.

"I want you to read a chapter at least once a week. I'll know if you did because I will be quizzing you and I've memorized every sentence in that book." said Naruto. Hinata looked absolutely horrified at this.

"Bu-but how will this HELP!" she all but shouted the last word. Naruto sighed and began removing his shirt. Hinata blushed up like a tomato and screamed at him. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"That's why I want you to read that book." said Naruto buttoning up his shirt. "Your to shy about situation's like this and your 15, you should be fine with a guy simply removing his shirt."

Hinata nodded looking down at the orange book in her hands blushing insanely. Naruto went over by a tree and went to sleep even though he should have been going back to work since he had taught Hinata the only lesson he would for the day. He didn't think at all about the fact that he had just given Hinata a perverted novel. But then again he could never have imagined the consequences to what he had just done.

(Seems like a good spot to end it…not. Prepare yourself there is still a long ways to go for this is my EXTREMELY LARGE CHAPTER)

Naruto awoke several hours later from his sleep. He looked around the training field and took note that Hinata was not there. He stared up at the sun and decided that he probably should be heading back to work. He strolled down the wide streets that were Konoha.

His blue eyes set themselves on a very sealed up and closed Ichiraku's. _"What the hell" _he thought. Naruto wondered up to the metal wall that blocked off the entrance to his life. A small piece of paper was taped to the front of it.

_Dear Asshole,_

_Do to your sudden disappearance I was unable to prepare myself for proper working conditions. There were so many costumers that I couldn't handle them. A lot of costumers may not be an accurate description so I'll tell you about it. I got people at first that were coming in for a late breakfast, it didn't start out so bad but as I was filling those orders and preparing them the early lunch group came in. It was a little hard but I finally managed to get all the orders of the late breakfast group and immediately started taking orders form the early lunch group._

_And then it happened I got the normal lunch group, and being that the lunch time rush is our biggest part of the day it was increasingly hard. I was still cooking and serving the late breakfast group, I was starting and still taking orders from the early lunch group, and the lunch group being as big as it is swarmed the place._

_Complaints, requests, you name it they all swamped me. Most of them got pissed and started fighting the early lunch group for there ramen. Tears were shed ramen was spilt and for the most part the whole store was trashed and I was forced to close down._

_I then spent several hours cleaning up the mess hoping, praying that you would come back to help, but alas you didn't. _

_The point of this being that this entire incident was in fact completely YOUR FAULT! YOU ARE A GOOD FOR NOTHING SON OF A BI-_

The letter that had started out so small turned out to be many pages folded up. All of them containing the most vile words of profanity as well as graphic descriptions of how he was going to be tortured.

Naruto took off his purple wire framed sunglasses and put his forearm over his eyes. He then began to rather pathetically cry.

"Umm Naruto."

Naruto turned his head and looked at the form of Kakashi. Behind him was Sakura and what he could only assume was her teammates.

"Is everything alright? Are you closed?" he asked.

"No no Kakashi-san not at all." he said stepping right in front of him with a mischievous smile on his face. He was currently holding his hands together and rubbing them as if delighted by something. All sadness and trace of tears were now gone, replaced with a mask of joy that was clearly covering up whatever the blonde was now scheming. "Come right in"

Naruto lifted the metal doors and opened up shop. Naruto had to give Ayame one thing; she was damn good at cleaning up. She had said in her letter that the place was trashed; yet now it looked almost brand new.

Naruto walked around the counter and started up the stove. "Okay so what would you like." said Naruto turning to them.

"I'll have the large miso." said Kakashi with a smile.

"The same." said Sakura.

Naruto then turned his attention to the boy with the jet-black hair._ "Uchiha Sasuke." t_hought Naruto.

"I don't like ramen." said Sasuke.

"One beef coming up." said Naruto. Sasuke's eyes widened a little at this and he was about to cancel the order when Kakashi gave him a warning glance. And before he new it he had a medium size bowl of ramen in front of him. He looked at the bowl and had to admit it looked very delectable. The aroma filled his nostrils and he finally decided to take a bite. He wasn't disappointed.

Naruto then placed another bowl in front of Hanabi. Her face remained stony and the only sign of a reaction was a raised eyebrow that only rose about five or so millimeters.

"I do not believe I placed an order." however she went ingnored as Naruto was talking with her sensei.

"So Kakashi who's the Hyuuga midget?" asked Naruto. Hanabi's eyebrow twitched for only a second before she regained control of her emotions.

"That Naruto is Hyuuga Hanabi, the prodigy, and she's not a midget she's only twelve. She was the number one kounichi in the academy even with being several years younger." said Kakashi.

Naruto looked over at the young girl. She kept on a stony expression but a flicker of amusement went threw her eyes. When people found out she was a prodigy they tended to ogle at her for a while. It had definitely done so when the Hyuuga Elders had seen her progress. She allowed only the smallest of smirks to invade over her expressionless face.

Naruto suddenly jumped up and sat on the counter with his legs crossed directly in front of Hanabi. He had a look of boredom on his face as he brought himself to eye level with the young genius. Hanabi was a little surprised at how close he was, his face even though it looked bored also showed a hint of annoyance.

Before she could react a finger flicked her nose. "Baka." said Naruto. Hanabi brought her hand up and covered her nose. Her stony face finally took on an emotion of surprise and a hint of anger.

"Wh-what was that for!" she said slightly raising her voice. Her face was red with a small bit of anger.

"Baka!" said Naruto again raising voice above hers. He swatted the top of her head with the tip of a folded up fan that he seemed to have gotten out of nowhere. "What are they doing letting a child like you be a shinobi."

He looked at her with a confused and annoyed face. "I am no child I am a shinobi of the leaf." said Hanabi regaining some of her previous control. "Despite my age I am more then qualified to-"

"Baka." said Naruto again. This time he flicked her on the forehead with his finger. It annoyed her that for some reason she was unable to stop it. "You're very weird, you look like a small kid, yet you talk as if you are a fifty year old lady."

Hanabi's face was slowly beginning to flush with anger. Her teammates stared at the seen with there jaws dropped, while there sensei was wearing a smile in amusement.

"When I care about the opinion of a _civilian_." she said the word as if it was scum. "I'll let you know."

Naruto was completely unaffected by her attempts to insult him. He sat there paying minor attention to her words as he drank from a bottle of sake.

Hanabi was growing increasingly annoyed at the chef as he ignored her while drinking something from a bottle. "Baka." he said again flicking her in the nose. It was pissing her off greatly that she had failed again to stop it. "Your not much of a shinobi are you? Your sister Hinata is way better."

Her gaze grew extremely cold as she glared at him barley suppressing her rage. "And what may I ask is better about my pathetic sister?" she said with a tone of superiority. Her anger was in her eyes, but she held a confident smirk on her face at the thought of her waste of a life sister.

"Well her boob's are bigger for one."

And any confidence, or emotionless mask that she had on her face shattered. Her jaw dropped to the counter and she was shaking with fury. "WHA-WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!" she shouted in anger.

But Naruto ignored her as he began to recite a list. "She's nicer and much more pleasant to talk to, she isn't a twelve year old midget with the personality of a fifty year old."

Hanabi's face was absolutely red with anger as she stood up. "As if scum like you would know anything about superiority. My sister is a weak waste of a life that doesn't deserve the Hyuuga name!" she shouted. "I dare not stay in this..this filth you call a restaurant any longer."

She stormed away from her seat towards the exit. "Meet us here tomorrow." said Kakashi. And Hanabi threw an accusing glare at him.

Both of the Hyuuga's teammates sat at the counter in shock, there mouths' hung open. Even the emotionless Sasuke looked moronic in the prospect of what he had just seen. They both looked at the chef in unison eyes wide and blank white.

"Ah look at that, what a waste she didn't even touch her ramen." said Naruto as he began to eat it. The two Genin fell to the floor at that, Kakashi just gave an amused chuckle.

"Well now I think we'll be leaving." Said Kakashi taking out his wallet to pay the bill. He then noticed the price being charged for each bowl. "THIS IS THREE TIMES WHAT IT NORMALLY COSTS!"

And suddenly Kakashi grew aware at what the mischievous look Naruto had had during the beginning of the meal. He left with a down look.

Ayame had arrived a few hours later and before she could beat the crap out of Naruto he showed her all the money he had made. He was let off with only two black eyes and a bump on the head.

"Well despite that I had to close, I was still able to take care of business." she said. Naruto looked at her curiously. "One of our suppliers has agreed to meet us half way in the delivery, I've already asked the Hokage to assign you protection. You leave in a couple days."

Naruto looked positively appalled at the idea of moving his lazy bum around and traveling. "How far is half way?" he asked in fear.

"Wave country." she said.

* * *

Team 7 met at the ramen stand over the next few days. Each time Hanabi grew to hate the place even more. Naruto always succeeded in making her very angry, and she failed in every attempt to insult him. He always gave a lazy yawn or took a sip from his sake bottle. All which told Hanabi that he wasn't paying attention to her. 

The team made there way towards the Hokage tower to receive their next mission. Hanabi was mumbling in anger having just come from the ramen stand. Her teammates actually enjoyed the response she was giving. She was always cold, emotionless, and above all arrogant; granted she was very good for a Genin, heck even for most Chuunin.

However her out burst and anger proved to her team that she was human and they enjoyed the fact Naruto always brought her down a peg or two. Naruto was always very nice to Sakura and made her laugh with his foolishness or laziness.

Surprisingly he was rather nice to Sasuke as well despite the fact that he was almost as arrogant as Hanabi was. Sasuke still never smiled but he didn't give Naruto the cold shoulder. He admitted that his food was amazing and always ate it with silent thanks.

They never learned anything really about Naruto except that he loved sake and was more often drunk when they saw him. Apparently he and Kakashi had a history something they didn't pry into. Sasuke and Sakura out of respect, and Hanabi for in her words 'I don't give a damn about anything that involves that chef!'

Team 7 was now standing before the Hokage and there Chuunin teacher Iruka. "Due to your impressive mission record thus far it has been decided to give Team 7 a C-rank mission." Said the Hokage. "Originally this mission would have involved you only protecting a bridge builder however a chef is in need of supplies and will be accompanying you to Wave. Your mission involves that you protect him as well."

Hanabi looked absolutely terrified. _"A chef…It couldn't be."_

She turned as the doors to the room opened. She stared out at the distance as the figure came closer. His silhouette showed that he had a straw hat and a sake bottle in hand. Hanabi was paling in annoyance. However as the figure emerged from the shadows she was greeted with the sight of an old man.

She let out a sigh of relief. "I'm Tazuna the bridge builder." he said.

Hanabi's eyes shot open to extremely wide. _"Wait if he's the bridge builder then where's the che-"_

At that moment a boy with blonde hair, a straw hat, loose clothing, and purple wire framed sunglasses walked in. "Hope I'm not late" said Naruto. "So where are the shinobi that will be protecting me and this bridge builder?"

"I was just about to ask that question myself." said Tazuna looking at the Hokage. The old man pointed to Team 7.

"Kids?" the bridge builder said confused. Naruto and him looked at each other then they looked back at their bodyguards. Naruto grabbed the sake bottle from Tazuna's hand and took a long swig. Tazuna paid little mind to the fact that he was drinking when he was only fifteen. All he said was. "My thought's exactly." Before he took a long swig of his own.

* * *

Naruto and bridge builder made there way down the road with Team 7 surrounding them as guards. Naruto was currently very drunk at the time. 

"Thaat theree is someeee gooooood stuff." slurred Naruto.

"I'm a little surprised someone your age can appreciate it." said Tazuna only a little tipsy. "That there is the finest the Wave has to offer."

"Ahhhh I seeee very nicee." said Naruto.

The group was a good distance away from Konoha. In a couple of hours they would most likely be upon the boat that would take them to Wave Country. Naruto laughed at a joke he remembered. However to the people around him he looked rather crazy to just start laughing. They came across a puddle that Kakashi seemed to eye for a few seconds before they moved on.

As they drew farther away two figures rose from the puddle. They charged the group from behind preparing to strike. One of them aimed their poison covered claw for the blonde with the straw hat. He thrust his attack outward just as Kakashi and his team turned around to notice their attackers.

However before anything could happen Naruto tripped and fell forward. The blow missed his head, but the stunt didn't end there. Naruto's foot was brought behind him as he was falling off balance and he just happened to kick the clueless missing nin in a very sensitive area.

Naruto got up and turned around. "HEY!" he shouted much louder then he needed to, to the person directly in front of him on his knees holding his crotch. "ARE YOU THE ONE WHO TRIPPED MEEE?"

Before the nin could respond Naruto broke a sake bottle over his head affectively knocking him out. The man's comrade then charged at the bridge builder obviously to try and accomplish his mission however Sasuke intercepted him.

Sasuske kicked him hard in the chin sending him flying up in the air. Hanabi appeared in a flash directly above him. She closed several tensuke points on his body with lightning speed before she sent a powerful palm thrust to his chest. He was sent hurtling towards the ground at breakneck speed when Sakura came up from underneath him. She threw her fist in his back affectively knocking him out.

Clapping was heard coming from Kakashi's direction as he walked towards his team. "Very good I didn't even need to intervene." said Kakashi with a smile. "Sakura…well done."

She beamed at the compliment knowing this was the true first time she actively did something useful in a mission. Kakashi then looked over at Naruto who was now crying at breaking his sake bottle on the nin's head.

"_Very subtle Naruto." t_hought Kakashi. Kakashi knew that even in a drunken stupor Naruto was very effective. He some times speculated that the blonde didn't even really feel the affects of the alcohol that he consumed, but then again he was a master of the druken fist.

"Well I think you need to explain." said Kakashi to the bridge builder.

"Wha-what do you mean." said Tazuna beginning to sweat.

"That last nin instead of dealing with the threat that was us, he targeted you with the intention to kill." said the copy-nin. "This signifies that you were the target all along."

Tazuna looked down. "This is a C-ranked mission we aren't trained for shinobi fights yet." said Sakura.

"I believe we should head back." said Kakashi.

"P-please try and understand we can't afford any mission higher then a C-ranked. I need protection, I promise you that if you guard me tell I complete the bridge I'll pay you the proper amount." Tazuna got on his knees and was now begging.

"I'm sorry but I'm canceling this mission, my team is not ready for such a-"

"NOW WAIT A GOD DAMN MINUTE!" shouted out a drunk Naruto now over the loss of his sake. "I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THIS MISSION, AND I EXPECT AN ESCORT NOW SO I CAN MAKE IT ON TIME TO GET THE SUPPLIES!"

"But Naruto just let us take him back to the village and then we'll be on our way with you." said Kakashi trying to be reasonable.

"HELL NO THAT WILL TAKE WAY TO LONG I NEED THOSE INGRIEDIENTS NOW!" said Naruto.

"As if the opinion of a drunk really matters." said Hanabi. "We are not prepared to handle this and thus should return."

"My my midget-san I'm surprised at you, I thought that a prodigy such as yourself wouldn't be afraid of a little challenge." said Naruto in a lazy voice that suddenly seemed very sober.

Hanabi was almost boiling over at the midget comment. "Look if it's a matter of money Ichiraku will pay for the extra cost now can we get going." said Naruto.

Tazuna stared wide-eyed at the chef in front of him. Words could not describe the joy he was feeling. "Thank you." he mumbled.

Naruto just stared at him confused. "Wha? Who the Hell are you!" he shouted at Tazuna; suddenly seeming very drunk again. Everyone sweat dropped.

"Very well then." said Kakashi. "There is no arguing with a well paying client so lets go."

* * *

The group sat quietly on the rocking boat. Naruto had a look that seemed off almost absolute concentration. Many of the people on board were staring at him curiously. Suddenly his face turned green and he threw up over the side of the boat. This continued for the whole trip. 

Both Sakura and Tazuna were by his side patting him on the back as he tossed his lunch. "There there you'll be fine." said Sakura.

"No I won't I'm going to die." said a green-faced Naruto in his tired lazy voice. "Huhhhh, I hate the water."

"Were here." said the boat owner. There small boat erupted from the mist and they were able to see what was finished of the bridge in clear sight. It was a rather beautiful sight in the sunny day.

"Alright, my house is only a little ways from here." said Tazuna. "It should only take an hour or so."

The group nodded in understanding. Tazuna had told them of his full situation on the boat ride over. Of how Guato was terrorizing his country and how the bridge needed to be finished.

They were walking down the road when they came to a clearing beside a lake. Sakura had thrown a Kunai only to discover it was a bunny that had caused her to throw it. At that point Naruto immediately called their attention.

"I'm tired let's rest here for a sake breakkkkkkk." said Naruto. He grabbed a spare bottle that he had brought. His original he had broken on the missing-nins head.

He sat down cross-legged in the middle of the clearing with the large bottle in between his legs. He picked it up and poured it into a saucer.

"Naruto…I don't think there's time for…" Kakashi was cut off as Naruto held up a hand.

"There is always time for a sake break."

"But-"

"ALWAYS!"

Kakashi gave a defeated sigh and walked away. Tazuna was shuffling around nervously on his feet next to Naruto who sat there calmly drinking from his saucer.

Suddenly a whistling sound was heard in the air. Tazuna stared straight ahead frozen in terror as a saw a giant sword heading straight for him. His life began to flash before his eyes as his doom drew near.

A hand grabbed him by the collar and pulled him down as the blade went over where his head had been. He looked to the boy who had just saved his life. Naruto had his eyes closed and was calmly sipping some sake from the saucer in his right hand. While his left had gone up and pulled Tazuna down to escape the blade.

The blonde showed little acknowledgement for what had just taken place as he sat there calmly sipping away at his sake. Tazuna wondered if he even realized that they were being attacked.

Team 7 surrounded them in a triangle formation. Kakashi stood ahead of them staring at a tree where the sword was now lodged in. A large man without a shirt and had no eyebrows appeared on top of it.

"Sharringan Kakashi." said Zabuza with a stern look. Sasuke's eyes widened at hearing this.

"Zabuza…Demon of the Mist." said Kakashi with an equally serious look on his face as he pulled up his hiate from his eye showing a deep scar.

"Uzumaki Naruto…Worlds Greatest Ramen Chef." said Naruto. All the shinobi present, even the fake hunter-nin in hiding stared at the boy in shock. "What everyone was doing it."

Zabuza looked at the boy who was clearly tipsy from the sake between his lap. He then returned to the matter at hand. "Allow me to kill that old man, and there will be no reason for yours…or your student's blood to be shed." said Zabuza in a threatening matter.

"Team 7 stay out of this fight, this guy is on a whole other level." said Kakashi. "Protect Tazuna and Naruto."

Kakashi opened his closed lid revealing his eye and took the ready stance. Zabuze jumped onto the lake and started forming seals. Before they knew it a mist had started to rise in the area.

Tazuna was beginning to panic as he lost the ability to see. The voice of Zabuza rung threw the mist as he listed off the area's he could strike.

Naruto sat there calmly happily sipping his sake. He still remained in the cross-legged position even with the presence of the insane Jounin threatening all of them.

Hanabi activated her Byakugan and looked threw the mist. She gave a small smirk as Zabuza appeared in her vision.

"Kakashi-sensei he is still on the lake." she said.

"Well well one of the children can see threw my mist how interesting." said Zabuza with a smile under his bandages. "However."

Before Hanabi could blink he was in the center of there formation with his large sword. Zabuza let out a small chuckle in amusement; his blade was held in a completely flat horizontal angle. The base was by Naruto's neck and the tip was pressing on the abdomen of the bridge builder.

Naruto took another calm sip from his saucer. He then did something that surprised the now tense shinobi of the area. He placed the saucer on the flat of the sword. "Thanks for that I needed a table while I open up this bottle." Said Naruto. Using both his hands to open up the sake container.

If Zabuza had an eyebrow it would be twitching. However he let up an amused sigh. "I must say brat your rather calm, much more so then your friends here." Said Zabuza pointing to the Genin now standing around them.

They were all frozen in fear, even Hanabi. It was clear that they were trying to shake it off with all they had, but the amount of killing intent that Zabuza seemed to radiate as if it was as common as breathing was far too much.

"I would think a mere fifteen year old chef would be in tears right now begging for mercy, but then again perhaps your to drunk right now to worry." said Zabuza.

"Worry?" said Naruto with a clueless expression. "Why would I worry when Kakashi-san is right there."?

As this was said Zabuza burst into water as Kakashi cut it throat with a kunai. Zabuza appeared behind him and slashed but Kakashi burst into water as well. Kakashi lunged his kunai at Zabuza, which the Mizu-Jounin affectively blocked. However he was then kicked away back towards the lake by a well-placed blow from Kakashi.

Kakashi now stood in front of his charges, forming one seal. The mist in the area thinned considerably allowing all to see the battle that was about to take place.

Naruto picked up his saucer that had fallen from the sword when Zabuza had moved. He checked to see if it was clean; when he found it was he smiled and poured his favorite liquid into the saucer.

He took a sip and gave a happy sigh. "Ah, that hits the spot." he said happily.

"How can you be so calm." Said Tazuna looking at the fight. Kakashi and Zabuza were merely blurs to his students, and Tazuna couldn't even see them. The clanging of metal was heard by all though. "Aren't you worried…if he fails we're all dead."

"I try not to think about those things." said Naruto. "And besides I have faith in Kakashi-san."

As those words were said Kakashi was trapped in a water prison. Naruto's jaw dropped. "WHAT THE HELL KAKASHI!" shouted out Naruto. "Your making me look bad, I just told this guy here not to worry because you were fighting and you go get yourself caught!"

Kakashi sweat dropped in his prison. "sorry." he mumbled. Zabuza just let out a laugh at this.

The Demon of the Mist formed a few sets of one handed seals, a feat that stunned the Genin present. A water clone formed and began to walk towards them its large sword raised.

When it came upon land the Genin's took action. Sasuke charged forward and delivered a punch towards the face. Sakura was running behind him. The clone effortlessly caught the attack, and before Sakura could launch her attack; the clone whipped Sasuke at her sending both of them to the ground.

If Hanabi was surprised that her teammates were taken down so easily it didn't show as she attacked. Even though her family's style was dangerous the Jyuuken was blocked at every thrust by the large sword.

Hanabi stared wide-eyed as her attacks were parried. _"So this is the difference in class between a Chuunin and a Jounin. He's not even fighting and his clone is beating me with little effort."_ thought Hanabi. She thought of how she had dealt with the Demon Brother.

Granted she had help from her team, but she was positive she could have defeated him alone. Yet here was water clone barley ten percent of its creator's power fighting her equally.

"_It's that damn sword it's blocking my attacks." s_he thought. She was growing angry at the situation perhaps that's what made her slip up. She was caught off guard for only a second but that was all it took.

The blade slashed threw her stomach and she skidded back. It wasn't a serious injury. She had tilted her body to avoid a fatal shot, a sign that she really was the prodigy she claimed to be.

She then paused as she bent on one knee clutching her stomach. The clone drew ever closer and she found her self-thinking of a lot of things. She thought about attacks, plans, but found herself grow with fury as the thought of her sister appeared in her head.

Hinata the one who was to be the Hyuuga heiress was beneath her. When she took over as head of the clan Hanabi would be branded as a branch member. She knew she was more deserving of the title. She was strong, and everyone new it. Even her father did, and yet for some reason he didn't disown Hinata. He continued to allow her to be the heiress.

Hanabi had brought up the suggestion to him on more then one occasion to have her band from the clan. Each time he would give her a cold glare and say no.

That angered her even more, and she directed it to the cause of it all. Her sister.

She was doomed to the hell of becoming a branch member. Her skills would go unrecognized and she would be nothing.

She gathered all her fury into one blow in her open palm. She lunged it at the clone that attempted to block. However the sword dissolved into water as the hand touched it and soon the clone dissolved as well.

There was a sound as the impact from the blow was made. The water behind the now destroyed clone wavered a little as the palm strike let out the remaining force.

Hanabi panted heavily, she was a prodigy and had perfect control; she had master the Jyuuken style and had a cunning mind. The only problem was her age, being as young as she was she didn't have large chakra reserves. She did make up for this with her control, but doing an attack like she just did, left her completely drained.

Zabuza gave another amused chuckle, a trait that Kakashi had taken note of and found annoying. Team 7 regrouped themselves and prepared for another attack.

Zabuza's chuckle became a full-blown laughter. "So you take out one of my clones and now you feel like you've accomplished something." he said. He prepared another seal. "I can easily replace it with ten more."

He laughed even wilder and was about to form another few clones when he felt it. His body froze completely, as he was assaulted by an unreal wave of killer intent. It felt like that of a demon; his eyes searched frantically around the battlefield looking for the source.

He made extra certain not to move his head, so his opponents wouldn't know he was worried about something. Zabuza looked at Team 7 as they seemed completely unaware of the unreal killer intent. That made Zabuza sweat, as it meant that the full force of killing intent was focused directly on him.

At first he speculated that it was coming from one of the Genin but that thought was quickly doused as he stared at their uncertain eyes. No, his gaze looked past them to the bridge builder, who only looked deftly frightened. His eyes wondered to the chef and it took all he had not to scream right there.

The boys straw hat shadowed his face, however his eyes remained visible. His icy blue eyes set in a killer like position. They were the eyes of someone who had killed countless hundreds, and could swat him like a fly. The unreal killer intent came from those orbs. And Zabuza knew he would die.

His body began to tremble with fear. HIM the demon of the mist was shaking in terror. His body was sweating, his eyes were shaking, and he was coming very close to throwing up.

Then the chef brought his hand to his hat and pulled it down over his eyes. At that moment Zabuza stopped trembling, realizing what had just happened. He had received a warning.

The Mizu-Jounin released his hand from the water prison and Kakashi was free. The Copy-nin struck and Zabuza was forced to retreat back away.

Team 7 was a little confused; for some reason Zabuza seemed to have released his hand from Kakashi's prison, affectively freeing him. After that it went all down hill for Zabuza as Kakashi tricked him and played with his mind using his Sharringan.

Zabuza was eventually blasted back by a Jutsu he was attempting to use. Before Kakashi could land the final blow a hunter-nin showed up and killed him. He took his body with him. Kakashi then passed out from exhaustion and his team came to carry him.

They immediately headed towards the bridge builders house. "How much longer!" said an annoyed and tired looking Naruto.

"Umm, not to be nosy or anything but Naruto don't you have to meet your supplier?" said Sakura.

Naruto looked at her wide-eyed and then slapped his head. "Ah crap." He said. He immediately ran off for the village.

"Idiot." said Hanabi who was currently clutching her bandaged stomach. Sasuke was had her arm slung over his shoulder to help her to the house. As they drew closer a beautiful young women exited the house and ran towards them.

"Father!" she said as she gave Tazuna a hug.

"Tsunami, I'm back and I've got some bodyguards." said Tazuna. "One of them needs a bed and another needs you to take a look at her. Her stomach was cut, it doesn't look to serious but still."

"Of course, right this way." she said.

* * *

Zabuza lied in a large bed bandaged up. His eyes stared up at the ceiling and he remained unmoving. His entire body was sore and he wanted to rest some more. The fake hunter-nin sat by his side waiting. "Did you discover the sharringans weakness?" he asked. 

"Hai, Zabuza-sama." said the hunter nin.

"Very good Haku…did you by any chance see the chef?" said Zabuza. Haku looked very confused at this.

"Why would I?" asked Haku.

"Because…if that chef had fought I would have been dead a thousand times over." stated Zabuza.

Haku's eyes widened to impossible size. "I…I don't understand, is he a shinobi?"

"I don't know, I didn't see his abilities or his chakra stores, but I know for a fact that he could kill me…his eyes said it all."

"I'll look into it." And with that Haku blurred out of existence.

"Becareful…" mumbled Zabuza as the boy was now fully gone.

* * *

Naruto wore a happy smile on his face. He had gotten the supplies he required and now was heading back. He was coming back from the bar, which was another reason he was happy. He hiccupped a few times before he stumbled up to the doorway. It was dark in the house. 

Even so Naruto was still able to navigate his way up the stairs. Being that he was currently being alcohol impaired; he didn't think much about just entering some random door to go to sleep.

However the consequences wouldn't come tell morning…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" a feminine scream was heard threw the entire house.

"Tsunami what's wrong?" said Tazuna running into the room followed by the members of team 7, a small boy, and a Kakashi on crutches. All of there mouths fell wide open. Tsunami was in the corner of the room blushing madly with a confused look on her face. A sheet covered her body and it didn't take a genius to know that she wasn't wearing anything underneath.

Naruto was snoring loudly in the only bed in the room. He was dressed in nothing but his boxers, and some drool was coming out of the corner of his mouth. Both the boy and Tazuan ran up to him and grabbed his sleeping form by his neck. They then began shaking him violently.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY DAUGHTER/MOM!" they both shouted together.

Naruto awoke abruptly unable to breath he was currently being strangled to death by and old man and a ten year old. He only heard briefly what they said before he passed out from lack of oxygen.

They threw his unconscious form on the bed and ran over to Tsunami. "My beautiful daughters are you alright? What did that no good drunk do to you?" said Tazuna.

"Umm, nothing dad." she said still blushing.

"Then why did you scream?" asked the boy.

"Well I woke up and he was sort of there, so I freaked." Was her response.

"Then why are you naked!" asked Tazuna pointing to the sheet covering her body.

"Well you see dad…I…sort of…you know….sleep in the…" she blushed even more not wanting to finish her sentence in front of Inari.

"Oh…I see." said the bridge builder.

They all looked over to Naruto as he began regaining his consciousness. "What the hell." said Naruto.

All the occupants of the room were staring at him angrily. All except for Tsunami, who was far to embarrassed and Sasuke who really didn't care about the situation.

"What?" asked Naruto.

"And what may we ask were you doing in Tsunami's bed?" said Kakashi. Even though he seemed as angry as the rest of the people in the room, he actually seemed more jealous then everything. "I know you are a flirt and a pervert but still…"

"NOW HOLD ON!" said Naruto. "I couldn't even remember my own name last night, I was so drunk that I just crashed in the nearest bed. I didn't know someone was in there."

They all looked at him not believing his story. "What…it's the truth I swear." said Naruto holding up his hand.

"Well it's really not a big deal so lets all forget about it." Said Tsunami. They all seemed to accept her request but Inari was still glaring daggers at Naruto. They exited the room leaving Naruto and Tsunami alone.

Naruto began to rub the back of his head. "hehehe, sorry about that I was really drunk and must of passed out in your bed." Said Naruto.

"Its alright really just…don't do it again." said Tsunami putting on a smile.

"I'll make breakfast this morning to make it up to you."

"You don't have to-"

"I want to." Naruto exited the room so that Tsunami could get dressed. When he entered the hallway he was greeted to the sight of Inari. "uh hi."

"Don't you dare touch my mom you pervert." said the boy throwing another glare his way.

Naruto began to sweat and laugh nervously. "Don't worry I know who I should and shouldn't go after." said Naruto growing even more nervous.

Inari didn't seem to believe him but left. Naruto went down the hall and turned down the stairs. It wasn't hard to find the kitchen, as it was almost a part of the living room.

"Soooo what would you all like for breakfast." said Naruto.

"Naruto…you didn't really.." Kakashi trailed off with his question.

Naruto's eyebrow began to twitch. "Know I didn't…now what would you like for breakfast." said Naruto.

"Anything but ramen…not because I don't like it but I would rather have something different." said Kakashi shaking his hands in front of him when Naruto had glared at him about he no ramen.

"I would rather not lower myself to eat anything made by this…poor excuse of a chef." said Hanabi in a cold emotionless tone. It was truly a talent that Hanabi had to make a comment that was insulting but not hold any smug tone in it. Even though it was obvious that she meant to insult sed person.

"Huh, did you say something midget-san." said Naruto with a yawn. It was another talent entirely to be able to annoy her as well as bounce of her comments altogether.

Hanabi got up and left without a word. She looked neither angry nor sad, but she was pissed on the inside. Naruto shrugged and began cooking; he made a couple of omelets with peppers and beef on the inside, with a side of rice. It looked rather tasty despite the fact that it was rather ordinary.

"Wow I didn't think you were good at cooking anything other then ramen." said Sakura with a smile. Tazuna, Tsunami, and Inari entered the kitchen at that moment and took their seats. They looked skeptically at the food, even though it had a delicious appearance they doubted the ability of the strange chef. Inari, just didn't want to try out because he was pissed that someone was 'after' his mom.

However all skepticism was thrown out the window as they took a bite. "Wow Naruto-kun this is delicious!" said Tsunami.

"Naruto-_kun_?" said Inari spitting out his food. The others stared at her wide-eyed. Naruto didn't seem to notice as he continued to cook.

"Kun?" said Tazuna looking at his daughter with a curious gaze. She blushed and looked down at her food.

"Well Team 7 were going to train today…I believe Zabuza is still alive." said Kakashi. Sasuke and Sakura almost dropped their food. "The hunter-nin was a fake, but I was to tired at the time to notice or do anything."

"Ah well that sucks for you guys." said Naruto pulling out his sake bottle and taking a swig. "I'm going to go out for a bit and enjoy myself, later."

Naruto walked out of the house and headed towards the forest; it was a really nice day. He basked in the sun as he strode threw the quiet forest. _"so peaceful"_ he thought.

He came to a clearing and sat beneath a tree. He placed his sake bottle beside him deciding just to enjoy the clouds. He slowly began to feel his eyes grow heavy as he began to fall a sleep.

* * *

_A form clad in black was under a different tree, but the sun shone the same way, the same peaceful and tranquil way that he loved._

_A five-year-old girl with brown hair stood in front of him. "My name is Akane, what's yours?" she asked._

_A boy with a white fox mask over his face looked at her for a moment. "Shadows don't have names." he said._

"_Huh?" she said looking confused. "You don't look like a shadow."_

"_Then I'm not doing my job right." said the figure._

"_Job? Are you a shinobi?" she said with another smile. A smile crept onto the figures face beneath his fox mask as he nodded. "WOW!" she said excitedly lifting her hands in the air.

* * *

_

Naruto was awoken from his slumber by a gentle nudge. He awoke to the sight of a boy dressed like a girl smiling at him He immediately started to panic as he checked around him to see if his cloths were on. He was pleased to see he was in the same spot he had fallen asleep in. _"Thank god, I thought I might have gotten drunk and…" _he didn't even want to think about that.

"You shouldn't sleep out here. You'll catch a cold." said the gender confused youth.

"Greetings Girlyboy-san, I'm going to tell you right now I don't swing that way." He said as cheerful as possible. The boy began to laugh and that creeped Naruto out even more. _"Dear god even his laugh is girly."_

Don't worry despite my appearance I don't go that way either. Naruto looked at him skeptically. The boy's eyebrow twitched at that.

"May I ask what you were doing out here?" said Naruto.

"I was collecting herbs for a friend. You?" he asked.

"I was just out for a walk and thought I would take time to enjoy the sky…I guess I fell asleep." Ssid Naruto.

"Ah, I see."

There was a pregnant silence for a while, the boy who was Haku, was thinking of the best way to ask if he was an enemy. Naruto who was slowly scooting away, was praying that the girlyboy wasn't going to try and rape him.

"Are you a shinobi?" asked Haku.

"No, I'm Uzumaki Naruto Worlds Greatest Ramen Chef…and number one straight GIRL lover." said Naruto scooting even farther away from Haku.

Haku's eyebrow began twitching even more. "I told you I'm not gay."

"And I totally believe you." said Naruto with a nervous smile.

"Well if you're a chef then why have you come here?" he asked.

"I had to pick up some supplies, now I'm waiting for my escorts to finish there mission before I head back." said Naruto.

"You certainly look strong for just a chef." said Haku taking a seat next to him. Naruto began to sweat and began to scoot away a bit more.

"I have to keep in shape if I want to impress those LADIES." said Naruto trying to stress this.

Naruto got up and began to walk away. "I know it seems strange to ask someone who doesn't protect others but…. do you have a precious person?" said Haku

"ALRIGHT STOP RIGHT THERE!" said Naruto. "I TOLD YOU I DON'T SWING THAT WAY! I DON'T CARE IF YOUR INTERESTED I AM GOING TO LEAVE AND FIND SOME CHICK TO MAKEOUT WITH!"

Haku just stared at him, his mouth hung wide-open. "That's not what I meant by precious person?" he shouted.

Naruto blinked. "Oh…sorry."

"Forget it…just I believe that if you have someone to protect…you can be truly strong." said Haku.

Naruto took a sip from his sake. "Man that's deep…so who's the guy."

"Why do you assume it's a guy?" asked Haku whose eyebrow was twitching franticly.

"Well…you know."

Haku sighed. "whatever…"

Naruto gave a loud yawn. "It's a good philosophy though." said Naruto.

Haku looked a little surprised that he was actually listening to him. "Really?" he said.

"One of the best things you can do is give your life for someone you care about…however it can also be one of the cruelest things you can do." Said Naruto. Haku raised an eyebrow. "If someone is that precious to you…how would they feel knowing you died for them. A Kage feels that way every time he sends troops out to die for him or his village."

Narto's eyes glazed over at that. Haku wondered why he made the Kage reference. "I see." said Haku.

"People will always die…loved one's will always be lost; they can be taken away by the blast of a jutsu or they can die of old age." said Naruto. "If it becomes a choice I would rather see my loved ones die of old age."

At that moment Haku knew that Uzumaki Naruto was more then he seemed. "You seem as if you speak from experience?" said Haku.

Naruto took a sip from his sake bottle. "I'm going to give you some advice now…if you are constantly in the situations that require you to protect your precious person…get out of it…now." said Naruto. "A shinobi's life is something no one should live."

Naruto got up and walked began to walk away. "I never said I was a shinobi." said Haku.

"I know…but that doesn't mean it isn't the truth."

* * *

Naruto sat down by the docks not far from Tazuna's house. He let his feet tread over the water. He took a swig from his sake bottle and let out a sigh. 

"I swear if you touch my mother I'll kill you." said Inari appearing behind him.

"Don't worry I won't."

Inari seemed to nod at this. The small ten-year-old boy took a seat beside Naruto and sat looking at the water. "Grandpa says that it was because of you the shinobi agreed to continue the mission to protect him." said Inari.

Naruto remained quiet and took another sip from his sake bottle. "Thank you." said Inari. "I don't want Gatou to kill my grandpa."

"Are you afraid of Gatou?" asked Naruto.

"Hell No!" said Inari. "Personally I want to go there and fight him right now…but."

"Your mother." said Naruto his eyes not leaving the water.

"I'm not afraid to die, and I know if I go to fight Gatou alone that's just what will happen." said Inari. "I just don't want to put my mom threw that though."

"Then you are very wise." said Naruto getting to his feet. He turned to leave but then paused. "Why don't you use that wisdom to think of something to do. There is strength in numbers and always a time to strike."

Inari watched his retreating back and turned to stare out at the lake.

* * *

It was growing late as Naruto approached the house. After last nights little episode he decided to lay off on the sake…until he got into his room. When he entered the kitchen it was only Tsunami cleaning the dishes. Everyone was either in bed or doing some last minute training. He walked up beside her and quietly began washing dishes with her. 

"You don't have to." she said.

"I know…but I want to." said Naruto in a happy voice with a lazy smile. They remained in silence for a while.

"I saw from here that Inari was talking to you…I'm sorry if he was rude." said Tsunami.

"Not at all…he was just making sure that I wouldn't just happen to wonder into your room tonight." said Naruto with a laugh.

"Sorry about that…he's very protective of me even though I'm his mother." said Tsunami. "He hasn't had it easy…I was only fourteen when I became pregnant with him."

"Ah…that explains why you look so…young." said Naruto. Tsunami blushed a little at his compliment.

"I was wilder back then; when my boyfriend found out I was pregnant he left us." she said. "After about seven years I met another man…he became like the father Inari never had. That is until Gatou killed him."

She spent the next few minutes recounting the events that took place with the man that the town considered a hero. Naruto was in tears by then end of the story.

"Tha-tha-tha-tha-that is sooooooooooo sahahahad." said Naruto as he began shedding tears on the ground.

"Really Naruto-kun its okay now. We keep him alive in our hearts and we remember what he did." said Tsunami trying to comfort him.

"Well-_sniff_-if you-_sniff_-say so." Said Naruto. They finished the dishes and went to there own rooms respectively. Yes Naruto made sure it was his room, well at least he thought it was his because it was empty. But Sakura came back from the bathroom five minutes later and screamed at seeing him.

He went to bed with more then a few bumps that night.

* * *

"Kakashi-sensei I don't like this." said Sakura. As the mist began to surround them and there charge. 

"Be on guard." said Kakashi.

"Well it looks like its time for a our rematch." said Zabuza appearing from the mist with Haku by his side. "Haku…I leave the brats to you."

At that moment Zabuza faded into the mist. "Sakura, guard the bridge builder. Hanabi and I will deal with this guy." said Sasuke pointing to Haku. They disappeared in a blur of motion.

Kakashi was dodging franticly at the sword attacks that erupted from the mist. He couldn't see Zabuza at all. "What's wrong Kakashi? Can't use that eye of yours without being able to see me." mocked Zabuza.

Sasuke was closer to his opponent's speed then Hanabi was. Which was probably why he was able to get a few hits in. Haku was very cautious of Hanabi's style, aware of what it could do. That was why he was able to dodge all of her attacks.

After Sasuke hit him a couple of times he became aware of the fact that he would have to step it up a notch. He began forming a couple of one-handed seals. The first set caused ice needles to appear all around them and strike. Hanabi used her Jyuuken to block all the offending projectiles, while Sasuke simply dodged.

However the needles were only a distraction to give Haku to time to complete the other set of one-handed seals. Ice mirrors slowly rose from the ground. "And now your fate is sealed." said Haku stepping in a mirror.

* * *

Ten figures now stood outside Tazuna's house. They all had smug looks on their faces. They brandished weapons of all types, from sword to spear. Two Samurai stood at the head of them. 

Tsunami was washing some dishes while humming a happy tune to herself. She turned off the faucet to the sink, and at that moment the door burst open. The wooden splinters were sent across the floor.

Tsunami ran out to the living room to see what had happen when the sight of ten very threatening looking men in the front door greeted her. She saw Inari run at them with his fist raised.

One of the Samurai easily caught the attack and lifted the boy up by his hand. Inari lifted himself up closer to his captor's hand and bit down. The man screamed in pain and dropped him. Before he could get away another hand grabbed hold of him and held him firmly.

"Please let him go!" said a near hysteric Tsunami.

"Gatou only said bring the kid…the mother is expendable." said one of the Samurai.

"NO please don't!" shouted out Inari. The Samurai that moved closer to his mother gave a sick smile. It was the one that Inari bit in the hand. He backhanded her across the face knocking her out.

"Leave her and burn the place with her inside." said the Samurai.

They all exited the house to the docks. Anyone could see that this plan had been given forethought as the house was already covered in oil. One of the men threw a torch and the house instantly burst into flames.

"MOTHER!" shouted out Inari as one of the men held his head in front of the seen forcing him to watch. Tears streamed down his face as he knew the truth. She was gone…dead.

The man's hands left Inari's head as he was blown away. Inari's eyes were wide as he felt a gust of wind from when the man was hit. He turned his head and was greeted with a sight he never thought he would see.

"Hey INARI" said Naruto.

(Cue Guitar music from Trigun.)

"What are you doing on the ground in tears." said Naruto with a smile. One his back was an unconscious Tsunami. The man that had been punched had shredded threw the docks from the force of the blow. He was unconscious on land blood splattered on his face from a broken nose.

The men looked at the newcomer with a small twinge of fear. They held their weapons at the ready.

"Inari there is strength in number and always a right time to attack…now is the right time to attack." said Naruto. He disappeared and reappeared in the center of the group of men in a swirl of wind and leaves. When he appeared the dust around him was scattered as if kicked up by the force of his appearing there. They were all frozen still; Naruto held his straw hat over his eyes and he had a small smile on his face. He snapped his fingers and the men all began falling down unconscious.

"Inari!" said Naruto with a large grin. "Now is the time to take back your village…don't tell anyone what I just did because I will just deny it." He said this with another smile before he vanished from there sight.

Inari was in a state of awe before he erupted in a large smile and laughed. He tied up all the men and woke his mother. They went out to the village to get some help.

* * *

Hanabi and Sasuke stood at the center of the ice mirrors back to back. Haku surrounded them in his reflection across each mirror. Sasuke had activated his Sharringan during the battle, which was the only reason he was still alive. Hanabi looked fine but she was growing tired from the long fight and she was running out of chakra. 

Haku was growing worried he to was low on chakra and would have to end this. Hanabi had her Byakagen activated so she was able to block all the needle attacks thrown her way. All accept one; Haku had pondered why she had been hit in one area and seemed so surprised about it.

It seemed the reason dawned on him right then and there. He took a handful of needles and lunged them at a particular spot. Hanabi remained unmoving completely unaware that the attack was coming for her. But Sasuke saw it; he ran at her and shoved her out of the way only to be hit himself.

She looked up at her teammate a little surprised, and then she noticed he coughed up blood. At that moment she knew; he had taken a hit meant for her. She was more then a little surprised that he had done it. From what she could gather her teammates were not to found of her. Her face remained stony but she felt a little guilty inside.

"He gave his life to get you out of the way." said Haku.

"Don't try and trick me." said Hanabi. "My eyes can see a lot of things, one of them is his still beating heart, and the other is the flow of his chakra. However make no mistake I will defeat you."

She thought back to her feelings of when she had destroyed the water clone. That feeling of rage and anger, she gathered it together however this time she brought it under control and concentrated with it. She focused it all into the points of her fingertips; she had spent all her time in Wave training this technique she had discovered.

She ran and a mirror and merely touched it and it shattered. The technique was basically an extension of her normal Jyuuken attacks. It was now more refined and did more damage, but ate up more chakra, which is why she wouldn't just use it whenever she fought with her Jyuuken.

Haku jumped out of a mirror to try and stop her from breaking another mirror but Hanabi saw it coming with her Byakagen. This had actually been what she was hoping for. She twisted her body and Haku flew past her, she then grabbed on to his foot before he got away. She pulled him back and his body was now upside down as she let go of him.

Hanabi concentrated the full attack into her open palm and slammed it for Haku's chest. Haku thinking quickly broght up several ice mirrors in front of him. They were shattered threw but had taken a lot off of the initial force of the attack. Even so it hurt, he was blasted threw a mirror behind him, out of his ice prison.

He skidded across the ground to a stop, and began to cough. He was still alive, luckily. Hanabi collapsed to her knees gasping for breath from exhaustion. She was very close to passing out.

Haku rose from the ground exhausted as well. He was coming close to giving up; he had failed his master as a tool. He was going to allow himself to die, but he then felt it.

"Zabuza-sama is in trouble." whispered Haku. She formed a seal and an ice mirror appeared and he rushed threw it.

* * *

Kakashi charged forward towards Zabuza with his Chidori ringing threw the air. His nin-dogs held the demon in place as he lunged his attack at the man. Kakashi observed out of the corner of his eye and ice mirror appear. He saw a boy exit it in front of Zabuza and stood in front of his attack. The boy threw some needles and Kakashi knew they were heading for the scroll that held his nin-dogs to this world. 

Zabuza stared out as Haku appeared in front of him. His eyes grew wide with panic realizing what was about to happen. He attempted to move to push the boy out of the way but the dogs held him down firm. He knew by the time the dogs disappeared, from the scroll being destroyed it would already be to late and Haku would be dead. He was going to watch as the boy he secretly considered to be a son was about to be murdered in front of his eyes.

Haku stood there calmly waiting. Time seemed to freeze for him _"Naruto-san, you were right. The best thing I could do was give my life for Zabuza-sama. However you were also right on another account. I would have preferred it if Zabuza-sama and I didn't have to fight any more. We could live out the rest of our lives and not worried about being killed. He's been like a father to me…and I never got to tell him that…I wish…I wish…things could be different."_

The lightning covered hand drew ever closer to Haku's still beating heart. And the boy closed his eyes. The sound of lightning still seemed to ring in his ears and he thought he was dead. A voice entered his head and it was the last voice he expected to here.

"Wish Granted Haku." said Naruto. Haku opened his eyes and was greeted to the sight of Naruto holding Kakashi's lightning covered wrist. The chef sat there calmly with his legs crossed on the ground. His sake bottle was in his lap and his right hand held his saucer as he took a sip. The other hand held Kakashi's wrist, as it was mere centimeters away from Haku's chest.

"Naruto what are you-" Kakashi was cut off by the chef.

"There is no more need for us to fight Zabuza, Kakashi." said Naruto. "Just as there is no more reason for him to fight us."

Naruto signaled out somewhere in the mist. Zabuza just looked at him wide eyed. The dogs were now gone so he released his jutsu and sure enough there was Gatou with a small group of mercenaries.

"He is planning on betraying you." stated Naruto.

"Zabuza you no good ass-" Gatou was cut off as blood filled his throat. A kunai and needle had pierced it. Both had been thrown by Haku and Zabuza.

The men froze upon seeing there leader dead. They grew angry and were about to retaliate when an error streamed threw the sky. A group of villagers four times the size of the army appeared. The army of cowards ran off at the sight of them, and the crowd gave a cheer.

They all gathered together on the bridge Sasuke was being carried over by Sakura. She was blushing slightly at being this close to him. They all gave another cheer and celebrated that night.

The events were as follows. Naruto hooked up with a bunch of girls all of which didn't mind being with him at the same time. He was the envoy of every male there. He also prepared a fabulous feast, which was deemed the greatest. He managed to get extremely drunk, expose himself in public, embarrass Hanabi as well as insult her greatly, recite several pages from Ich Ich Paradise to little kids, get beat up by several angry parents, makeout with several of the girls he was with, get a beating from Kakashi who was jealous. And now here he was in front of Zabuza, Haku, and Tazuna's family.

"Well me and Haku are going to try and play it straight…we just don't know where to go." said Zabuza.

"Our house was burned down and now where homeless what ever will we do." said Inari.

"I HAVE JUST THE SOLUTION." shouted out Naruto.

* * *

A man sat at the famous Ichiraku ramen stand and slurped some ramen and began to gag. "WHAT THE HELL THIS RAMEN SUCKS!" shouted the man. 

Zabuza charged at the man. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY RAMEN!" he was strangling the life out of the man. "You want ramen I'll give you ramen when I shove the uncooked noodles down your throat."

Zabuza was slammed over the head with a frying pan by Ayame. "Zabuza what did I tell you about hurting the costumers." said Ayame.

"sorry Ayame-san." Zabuza mumbled. Team 7 looked at the scene in a small state of shock from there seats.

"Why can't you be more like your gay friend Haku, he is a model employee." said Ayame.

Haku began crying. "I'm not gay, I just like looking nice…is that so wrong." he said to himself as tears fell from his eye.

Inari and Tsunami were laughing from the sink where they were washing dishes. "It was so cool of Naruto to give us these jobs here in Konoha since our house burnt down." Said Inari. Tsunami nodded.

"Yes it sure was great of him to give my daughter a safe environment." said Tazuan from his seat at the counter. He was currently drinking some sake while looking at Zabuza attack another costumer for insulting his ramen cooking abilities.

"Dad you didn't have to come with us, shouldn't you be supervising the village so they can get back on there feet?" asked Tsunami

"And leave my daughter alone in the big city to get raped not a chance." shouted out Tazuna who at the moment was very drunk.

"Well I'm leaving now." said Naruto. They all looked at him. He gave them a tired yawn and left leaving the scene that was slowly turning into chaose.

* * *

Authors note: BAM BOOM I AM A DAMN GENIOUS. Making the Wave arc group work at the ramen stand. That's right people they are now main characters. There will also be a Naru/Tsunami thing. NO ITS NOT GOING TO BE WEIRD and it won't happen in a weird way. 

I know she's got a kid and I might be over doing it but before any of you object watch how I do it first okay. Pay attentions to Naruto's dreams they do play a role to answer his past. He quiet for a number of reason's just so your aware, but they all tie together.

Did you see what I did with Naruto and Hanabi. That is how there relationship is going to start. She is going to hate him and he is going to basicly ignore her until they slowly fall in love. Sigh so romantic…just wait okay. There Will be Naru/Anko in next chapter…a lot of it.

Considering moving story to 'M' no I don't plan on a sex scene just think the stuff is going to go up and bit. A little more crude langue and sexual situations with mentions of more intimate parts. Plus very descriptive righting about one make out session in next chapter coughcoughAnkoandNarutocoughcough.

Any way hope you all liked. Continue to read and see how it develops. Like I said the Tsunami/Naru thing is going to happen ins a believable slow way. SO DON"T REVIEW ABOUT OBJECTIONS TO IT AND WASTE MY TIME. Just read and see where I go with as well as other thing. I don't mean to toot my horn but his is going to be one of my best fic's so read and Review, I've gotten like over a hundred a chapter which is the best I've done. And with such a big update come on.

I changed Inari at the begining just for the heck of it. SO there you go.

Brutality will be updated next…


	5. Chapter 5

But he's just a ramen chef!

Authors note: Well…uhh here you go…warning the first part kinda looks like a sex scene at first but its not. It is actually just Anko having a nightmare and the seal is acting up. I'm saying this because after reading it I realized how it could be interpreted.

Chapter 5

* * *

The sheets on her bed were thrashed violently back and forth. Her breathing came in shallow pants rapidly growing faster and more stressed. Her purple hair stuck to her beautiful features. She bit down hard on her lip drawing blood, and her fingernails clawed at the sheets. Painful gasps erupted from her mouth as she twisted and turned in her bed.

Her eyes shot open and she screamed. She sat up franticly clutching her neck gasping for breath. Sweat dripped down her body, she was currently only wearing her panties and a large T-shirt.

Hot tears streamed down her cheeks as she fought off the pain as best she could. Her seal had a faint purple glow to it, and almost appeared to be burning her flesh. She rested her head against the window conveniently located next to her bed. The pain slowly began to die down until all that remained was a dull throb.

She lifted the sheets off her pale legs and got up. Her hair shadowed her eyes as she stumbled over to the phone and dialed a number.

"Hello?" said a female voice on the other side of the line.

"GOOD MORNING KURENAI-CHAN!!!" shouted the purple haired women into the receiver in a cheerful voice. The voice completely unmatched her expression, her face was dull cold and lifeless. The voice was entirely a fake but sounded completely real, a mask one might say.

"Anko-chan? Why are you calling me so early?" asked Kurenai in a tired voice.

"I just wanted you to treat me to some dango." said Anko a small smile playing on her lips, but it to was a sham. Her hair continued to shadow her eyes giving her a almost ghostly appearance, not that her friend Kurenai could see her.

"Oh…uhh okay I don't see why not." said Kurenai.

"Great." said Anko. Tears were streaming down her face, but any pain or sadness she was feeling remained out of her voice as she spoke. Her smile grew larger becoming more forced. "I'll see you in a bit." She hung up the phone and just stood there. Her hand remained unmoving from the receiver.

Her large smile stayed plastered on her face and the tears that were shed from her hidden orbs began to increase. Mitarashi Anko was coming close to insanity.

* * *

A fifteen-year-old boy laid pleasantly on a black tile surface. His large straw hat covered his features as he slept. A fishing rod stood at perfect balance in-between his toes, his sandals sat beside his prone chest. His large orange shirt was fully unbuttoned showing off his perfectly muscular chest. The boy's abs were wrapped up in white bandages meant for those of the injured, yet he wore them for style.

Behind him on the same black tiled surface stood a blue-haired girl with pale eyes. A tremendous blush was on her face as she went through various fighting stances. Her large coat covered her features however it seemed to only make her sweat more as steam appeared to be in the air.

The girl fought down her blush as best she could, but even so it was quite noticeable. "Ummm…Naruto-sensei." she said trying to ask her question. "What are we doing here?"

The boy let out a tired sigh. "Hinata-chan, you are training and I am fishing." he said.

"But Naruto-sensei…what could you possibly catch here at the h-" she was cut off as the fishing line snagged something.

Naruto instantly sat up and grabbed hold of the fishing rod. One might notice the notoriously perverted blush on his face. He gave a hard tug and the line snapped up to him. On the end of the hook was a snow-white…towel?

"EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!" came a female scream from below.

"Kaya what's wrong?" asked various other female voices.

"There's…there's perverts on the roof. One of them fished off my towel!!!" shouted out the naked woman.

The scene came into focus; the black tiled surface that both Naruto and Hinata stood on was none other then the roof of the female half of the Konoha Hot Springs. Naruto stood up right in front of them all completely unembarrassed by the scene. He had a smile on his face and he winked at them. Some of them blushed but others grew into a fit of rage. They spotted Hinata behind him to, and all there faces grew with confusion.

"OH MY GOD!!! Were getting the female perverts now too!!!" said the women. "Get them girls!!"

All the women charged forward abandoning all sense of modesty, as they didn't bother to cover themselves. Hinata looked around franticly in a panic not knowing what to do.

"Hinata-chan." said Naruto with a kind smile on his face as he turned to her. "The second part of your training today is to RUN!!!"

He ran forward and grabbed her hand and jumped off the roof onto the streets of Konoha. Naruto was laughing the entire time.

"Its not funny Naruto-sensei!! Now they're going to think I'm a pervert!!!" she said as she looked back at the women catching up to them.

"But my dear Hinata-chan you are a pervert. The book you are hiding in your coat is proof of that." said Naruto.

Hinata blushed a furious shade of red in embarrassment as hugged her coat tighter to her body. The indentation of a rectangular figure came into view. The mention of the book caused Hinata to think of it contents and before she knew it a small stream of blood was falling from her nose.

"Oh…oh my." said Hinata closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"HAHAHAHA what did I tell ya!" shouted Naruto in glee. They entered the market district and ran through the crowed. The women came to a halt in the middle of the market looking around franticly for the people who had been spying on them.

"Damn it where did…they…go." The leaders voice became quiet, as she looked at all the people staring at her and her friends. All the men were blushing madly or passed out from blood loss. The women in the market looked furious and covered some of the children's eyes.

The women of the hot spring looked confused for a moment until realization dawned on them. They all looked down at there bodies and took note of there now nude forms. They all blushed tremendously from embarrassment and rushed back to the hot springs.

* * *

Anko sat in a booth with her friend and was now currently stuffing her face with a happy smile. Kurenai stared at her friend in a daze. _"Where…where does she put it all?"_ she questioned.

Anko continued to scarf away at the dango in a cheerful mood. Her face reflected her childish behavior as she ate. However her cloths reflected another side of her personality. The trench coat wasn't that bad but what was, was the stuff underneath or lack there of.

An all to revealing fishnet shirt clung to her skin, revealing her black laced bra. On her legs she wore a short mini skirt, which looked like it had been made for someone half her size showing off her shapely legs and amazing curves. She had a body most women would kill for, it being ironic that she killed for a living.

"Is there any reason you wanted me to treat you to dango?" asked Kurenai as her friend continued to devour the food.

Anko adopted a confused childish look. "Other then free dango?" she questioned as she thought about it. "Well to see Kurenai-chan!!!"

Anko hopped across the table and wrapped her arms around her friend's waist. She then began rubbing her cheek against Kurenai's well-defined assets. "Is they're any other reason I need?" she asked huskily some how forcing a seductive blush on her face. A gleam of playfulness stood in the purple haired woman's eyes.

Kurenai blushed furiously in embarrassment as she looked around the restaurant. Several of the local perverts were watching the seen with nose bleeds while others tried to avoid the seen.

Kurenai let out a sigh, she hated when her friend did this. She always ended up greatly embarrassed, but then again she wouldn't give up her friendship with Anko for the world.

Anko burst into violent fits of laughter as she rolled off her friend into the seat next to her. She grabbed the last stick of dango and began munching away. Kurenai took out her wallet and her eyes widened upon finding it empty.

"uh-oh." said Kurenai. Anko looked at her friend, one of the sweet balls was still in her mouth.

"Wahufts wowng Urenaii-chwan?" asked Anko with a full mouth.

"Well uh you see I am apparently out of money."

Anko swallowed her food and smiled at her friend. "No problem I'll take care of it, why don't you just wait outside."

"Uhh okay if you say so." said a confused Kurenai. The Genjutsu Jounin left the dango place leaving her friend behind. A playful smile erupted on the purple haired woman's lips.

She looked around the room and spotted the waiter who was obviously new. "_Well at least it's a guy…that will make it a lot easier."_ She thought.

"Excuse me but I would like to pay my bill now." said Anko motioning for the waiter to come over. He was fairly attractive, still to young though maybe around sixteen or so.

"Umm I'm pretty sure you just have to leave your money…you don't need to call me." said the boy rubbing the back of his head.

Anko smirked and got up to wrap her arms around his neck. She let herself hang off him so as not to appear taller then him. She brought her legs between his thighs and let her bust push into his chest. She once again forced the seductive blush onto her face with her practiced ease.

"You see I…I don't have any money." said Anko bringing her mouth right next to the boys ear. "Do you think maybe you could let it slide this time."

"well…uh..I don't uhh…oh…uhh." The boy was fumbling with his words and Anko brought her leg gently across his thigh. "Uhh…sure."

Anko was behind him near the door in an instant. The mischievous smile played on her face as she walked out. "Great!!" she said raising her fist in the air. She left the place and was greeted by the sight of her friend waiting.

"Did you take care of the bill?" asked Kurenai.

"I guess…if the guys name was Bill." said Anko with a smile.

Kurenai's eyes widened in an instant. "Anko-chan you didn't?"

"Didn't what Kurenai-chan." said Anko putting on a confused child like face. Just as her friend was about to respond, Anko was ran into by a blonde haired chef and his newly dubbed perverted apprentice. "Oww that hurt." said Anko from her spot on the ground.

"Sorry sorry sorry." said a blushing Hinata bowing a million times as she helped up Naruto.

"Hinata?" said Kurenai confused.

"Kurenai-sensei what are you doing here?" asked Hinata, dropping Naruto back on the ground.

"I was just out with a friend today…may I ask what you were doing?" said Kurenai.

Hinata looked a little startled at her question and looked at her feet. "We were just uh..umm."

"She was just practicing while watching me fish." said Naruto finally getting up. "We were in a hurry when we bumped into you guys." He wore an idiotic smile on his face. "Sorry we bumped into you lady." said Naruto looking at Anko who was now getting up.

Anko looked up at him, at first she was angry, but then at the sight that he was just some fifteen-year-old kid she gained a mischievous glint in her eyes._ "So young…time for some fun."_ Thought Anko.

She was behind Naruto in an instant, her right hand traveling under his right armpit onto his exposed chest. "Its quite alright." said Anko, her hand moving over the bandages that covered his waist. "I think I know a way you can make it up to me though."

She rested her head on his shoulder and began stoking the bandages before going underneath them. Her breath grazed his ear and she pushed her breasts forward into Naruto's back.

Kurenai sighed at the scene. _"Poor kid, Anko is in one of her moods…better stop her before she does something to embarrass him."_ Thought Kurenai. However all thoughts were silenced as she looked at her friend.

Anko's face was now that of sheer surprise, her eyes were wide and the seductive blush she had worn on her face was gone. Instead it was replaced with a bright pink one that stayed on her shocked face. She looked down at her right breast, the boys left hand was held behind his back and was now firmly grasping her...asset.

Naruto's right hand was on his chin and his eyes were closed as if he was in thought. "Size C very nice." said Naruto nodding his head. "Well I must say you made this very easy for me…I didn't even have to sweet talk you."

Naruto swung around in a blink and grabbed onto the woman's waist with his right hand. He leaned her down to where her head was almost touching the ground, and brought his face directly in front of hers. He starred in her eyes not blinking once, they held a seductive glint to them but there was a small undertone of playfulness.

"Shall we." said Naruto.

Anko blushed pink even further and Kurenai's jaw nearly hit the floor._ "he's…he's…he's actually embarrassing Anko!?!?! I didn't even think that was possible."_ Thought a shocked Kurenai.

Anko's face was one that of astonishment. She was completely and utterly speechless. She blinked to get herself out of her confusion._ "Okayyyyyy…this is new…I never would have thought this could happen."_ She looked up at Naruto again and saw the playful look. It was a look she new all to well._ "Ahh, so that's how it is…well two can play it this game."_

"Sorry about that." said Anko returning to her previous self. "I was surprised that one who seems as young as yourself could be so…experienced."

She brought her arms around his neck and placed her feet under her behind so she could prop herself up. She didn't want to be completely at his mercy. "Well as you can see I am very…experienced." said Naruto. He picked her up and pinned her against a near by wall.

Anko wrapped her legs around his waist. "Well then I won't have to hold back…may I know the name of one who is as excitable as myself." said Anko rubbing a hand across his cheek.

"Uzumaki Naruto." said Naruto.

"Mitarashi Anko." said Anko as she brought her mouth down on top of his. They wasted no time as there tongues slipped in each other's mouth. Naruto brought the battle into her own mouth, winning in the dominance category. Anko moaned as some of the saliva began to drool down her chin. They continued to kiss passionately while a crowd just stood there slack jawed in confusion.

"dear god…there's two of them." said Kurenai.

"Naruto-sensei." mumbled Hinata looking down, a tremendous blush on her own face as she secretly watched the scene with her Byukagen. She hugged the perverted orange novel that lied in her coat tighter. She was definitely going to read some more when she got home. Some blood began to spill from her nose at the very mention of the idea.

The two broke apart to catch their breath; they both looked around and noticed the crowd that had gathered.

"Can we help you!!" they shouted in unison. The crowd instantly dispersed and everyone went there own way.

Naruto sighed. "Well as fun as this has been Anko-chan, I have to get to work." said Naruto. He set her down and turned, however the woman's arms wrapped around his body.

"Do you have to Naru-chan." said Anko putting on a puppy dog pout.

Naruto gave a smile. "Come to Ichiraku's later…we'll share a sake bottle." said Naruto walking away. "Hinata-chan we're done for the day."

Hinata was gone in an instant trying to keep her perverted blush down. Naruto left the scene soon after. Anko stood there with her friend wearing a toothy grin.

"Hurray I got a new playmate!!!" she shouted lifting her fist in the air. "Well that was fun."

"Anko-chan…you're not really going to see him again are you?" asked Kurenai.

Anko blinked and looked at her friend. "Why wouldn't I?" she asked. "My life is far to boring…it's nice to have a playmate."

Kurenai sighed and shook her head back and forth. "Just take it easy…then again the way he carried himself you might not have to." said Kurenai.

* * *

Naruto walked up to the ramen stand and gave out a lazy yawn. He was about to push the small curtains that allowed costumers to eat in privacy out of the way when a bald man came soaring out. Naruto barely dodged in time as the man slammed in the ground.

"SAY THAT AGAIN ABOUT MY RAMEN YOU BASTARD, SAY IT AGAIN!!!" shouted out Zabuza. The sound of metal hitting his skull was heard soon after.

"Zabuza you have to stop doing that!!" said Ayame in an angry tone.

"Sorry Ayame-san." said Zabuza looking down with multiple bumps on his head. Ever since the ramen stand had received its new workers, it became far more chaotic every day.

Today however, it was even more so. Perhaps it had something to do with the new team that now sat by team 7.

"Shut it INO-PIG!!!" shouted Sakura.

"Make me FOREHEAD!!!" shouted out Ino. Both Sakura and Ino brought there foreheads together and were having a glaring contest.

"Would you two keep it down and just enjoy your ramen." said Asuma from his seat next to Kakashi. "Honestly, Ino can be so loud at times. So…is it true that Naruto-sama works here." said Asuma bringing his voice down to were no one could here him.

"Hai." said Kakashi. "He's very different now…but he is still just as skilled. Try not to bring up the past and just enjoy the time as his friend."

Asuma only nodded. He had a far away look in his eye. "It's been almost five years now…since our last mission with him." said Asuma. Kakashi nodded as well.

* * *

Chouji slurped up some of the noodles and sighed. His lazy friend Shikimaru looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Is something wrong, Chouji?" asked Shikimaru.

"No…its nothing, just I expected more from the reputation the Ichiraku ramen stand holds." said the Ackimigi. "Don't get me wrong, that Haku fella makes a pretty good ramen I was just expecting more."

In an instant Ayame was in front of the boy bowing. "Please hold your judgments until later. Haku-chan is new and inexperienced, the one who gave us our reputation should be here shortly, Ackimigi-sama." said Ayame trying to keep the boy as satisfied as possible.

All the Ackimigi were well respected in the culinary world, their opinion on a restaurants food, service and atmosphere could make or break any food-eating establishment.

Chouji nodded and waited, he didn't have to wait long as a blonde haired boy entered the stand. "There you are Naruto-kun, I need one of everything for our friend here." said Ayame relieved that the boy had shown up for work today.

"Morning Naruto." said Sakura upon noticing him. Sasuke gave a nod in his direction and Kakashi waved. The members of team 10 looked at the boy around there age curiously.

Naruto let out a yawn and gave a tired wave to them all. He walked behind the counter without a word. Zabuza who was in front of the stove burnt his hand, and just before he could slice the thing in half with his sword Naruto walked in front of the stove.

Zabuza froze in mid swing barley stopping in time to miss the back of the boys head. He was sweating furiously at almost killing his superior. Naruto started boiling some water and washed his hands.

As he was doing so Tsunami, Inari, and Haku stopped what they were doing and watched him intently. It was always a treat to see him work in his professional manner. Naruto grabbed a knife and with speed and precision he began cutting up the ingredients for the ramen. His cuts were in fluid motions at blinding speeds that came from years of practice. As he speedily finished with the vegetables, herbs, and meats; he began working the dough.

Chouji sat at the counter licking his lips. He could tell by the way the young chef was preparing the meal that it was going to be good. Shikimaru looked at the chef with an even more curious gaze as he watched the speed at which the chef preformed.

"_Fast."_ Was his first thought.

Naruto placed the ramen bowls on a large tray and placed it in front of Chouji. He then proceeded to place a bowl in front of Shikimaru, Ino, Sakura, Sasuke, Kakashi and Asuma. He then placed another bowl in front of an empty seat, Hanabi's seat.

Hanabi sat back away from the group in one of the booths not paying real attention to the scene. Team 7 didn't know why he always placed a bowl in front of Hanabi's seat. She never ate it, and she rarely sat at the counter, but yet everyday a bowl would find its way there when she was present in the stand.

"I'm sorry but I don't eat ramen…I'm trying not to gain any weight." said Ino with a small blush, that the handsome chef had thought to serve her.

"Then there is nothing to worry about." said Naruto, team 10 now hearing his voice for the first time. "The old man who owns this place made a special ramen recipe that is completely fat free. It's his special diet ramen, you won't gain an once and it still has that great taste."

Ino nodded a little hesitantly until she was nudged in the side by Sakura telling her to eat it, and like everyone else who ever seemed to have the pleasure of having one of those noodles grace there lips, she couldn't stop.

Naruto gave a lazy smile as everyone enjoyed his or her ramen. He seemed to at that moment finally notice Asuma. "Oy Asume-san its been a while." said Naruto with a cheerful smile.

"It's great to see you Naruto-sam-…Naruto-san." said Asuma catching himself. He didn't know why but he had a feeling he would be causing problems that weren't needed if he referred to Naruto in the honorary suffix.

"So how's everything going?" asked Naruto.

"Well as you can see I have taken on a team." said Asuma.

"I'm Ino."

"Chouji."

"Shikimaru."

Greeted all the members of team 10. "How nice to meet you all." said Naruto with a goofy smile before he yawned. He walked over to a stack of flour bags and propped himself on top of it, he lied down and pulled his straw hat over his eyes. In an instant snores could be heard coming from him.

"Man's got the right idea." said Shikimaru lying his head down on the counter. Ayame came by and picked up all there empty bowls. She left Hanabi's because Naruto always seemed to eat it later, even when it was cold.

Just as the dishes were deposited in the sink for Tsunami and Inari to clean a loud voice was heard. "NARU-CHANNNNNN!!!!" Naruto perked his head up and woke up. At that moment Anko walked in with Kurenai not to far behind.

"Anko-chan!!!" shouted out Naruto with excitement. "I didn't expect you to take me up on my offer so soon!!"

Anko hopped over the counter and in an instant she was straddling Naruto. "And miss my time with Naru-chan not a chance." said Anko bringing her hand down over his pants to where his crotch was. In response Naruto squeezed her ass through her miniskirt.

Everyone's jaw dropped as they started making out right then and there. Even Hanabi did, for she had never scene two people lack such basic modesty. "Now its time to get what I came for." said Anko.

"It shall be done." People stared wide-eyed at what they could possibly be talking about. "Let the wine flow!!!" said Naruto slamming a large bottle of sake on top of the counter. He then began depositing the liquid into two separate saucers, and he and Anko soon began drinking with large smiles on their faces.

"dear god…there's two of them." said Ayame.

"That's what I said." said Kurenai.

It didn't take long before Naruto and Anko had too much. There faces were completely flushed as they greeted costumers. Naruto would greet and seduce various women, while Anko handled the men that walked in.

They were scaring everyone away and having a good laugh about it. Eventually Ayame took action.

"Alright listen up you two!!" shouted Ayame. Naruto and Anko stood at attention in an instant both giving salutes. It was a rather comedic scene. Ayame lost her train of thought for a moment as she tried to suppress the urge to giggle. "You two are disrupting the costumers and scaring them away. I'm going to have to ask you to leave for now."

"But Ayame-nee-chan I workkk hereee." said Naruto smiling.

"Yeahhh and I…hold on I cannn think offff a goooood reason." said Anko sitting down cross-legged and getting in the thinking position.

"Don't worryyy Anko-channn we'll think of something." said Naruto stumbling as he sat beside her. They were there for about thirty minutes before Ayame finally convinced them to leave.

"Is it always like this?" asked Ino.

"Pretty much." said Sakura in response. Ino smiled and soon began to giggle.

"How fun…I like it here." she turned to her smoking sensei. "Listen up teach we are meeting here from now on and that's that. I get to see Sasuke-kun eat good food and have a good laugh."

"I agree this food was spectacular." said Chouji.

"Troublsome…I don't care." said Shikimaru leaning his head on his hand.

"Alright alright I was thinking of doing that anyway." said Asuma. "Maybe Kurenai-chan should join us as well."

Kurenai looked at him and his suggestive eyes. Her eyebrow began twitching. "Perhaps…maybe Hinata will come out more being around that Naruto guy." said Kurenai. "then again she may turn into a pervert…nahhhh."

* * *

"_It's always been you I've loved." said Rin removing her robes. "Please take me."_

_Kai just stood there for a moment before an innocent smile played on his face. "If that is what you want." Kai tackled her to the bed and lied on top of her. His muscular chest pressed firmly onto her exposed breasts._

_He soon found her neck and began sucking on it. He backed off to look in her eyes. He saw the love and passion in them. He soon began going lower and lower until finally-_

"Hinata-sama is everything alright!?" shouted a branch member from outside her door. "I thought I heard a moaning."

Hinata scrambled to hide the book, her face as red as a tomato. She grabbed a Kleenex and began wiping the blood away from her nose. "No no everything is fine don't worry." she said still arranging herself as not to give any hints as to what she was doing.

"Are you sure because I was certain that I-"

"No you were mistaken." she said cutting him off. She quickly removed her top and held it half way on her arms.

"But I was sure." The branch member walked in and saw Hinata staring at him. She was currently in the process of putting on her top. She looked at him then blinked before she screamed. The Hyuuga member closed the door in an instant with an intense blush on his face.

"Hinata-sama I'm sorry I'll leave you alone." And like that the branch member was gone.

Hinata let out a sigh. _"That was close."_ She had been right in her assumption that the man would come in. She looked down in embarrassment at how devious her mind had worked in taking off her top to make it look like she was changing. Naruto was really rubbing off on her…as were the books.

However it wasn't her fault, for a deprived child who was forced into a life of plans and expectations it was amazing to be able to escape to the world in those novels were the characters had no limits, no modesty and everything was pure passion and romance. She knew that she would now be considered a pervert but it was worth it.

* * *

Orochimaru stood before the current Iwakage. The man was a large bulky sort and had a thick beard. His body was decorated with various scars and tremendous sword sat at his side towering over his large figure.

"And why should we help you?" asked the Kage.

"You are already at tension with the leaf do to the shinobi war but if you align with me I can give you something of great interest…" Orochimaru let his words hang.

"And what would that be?" asked the Kage with a bored expression. Orochimaru walked up to the man and leaned in next to his ear.

"The Bloody Whirlwind." Was all he said. The large man visibly froze at that. Orochimaru backed off and saw the man's wide eyes.

"Yo-you know his identity?" questioned the man suddenly taking Orochimaru far more serious.

"The one responsible for the Stone Massacre five years ago as it is now called. Your greatest enemy, Konoha's Bloody Whirlwind…yes I know who he is…" said Orochimar trailing off. "If you help me I will reveal his identity to you upon our attack."

"Yes." Agreed the Kage in almost an instant. Orochimaru nodded and vanished in an instant._ "The Bloody Whirlwind will not be easy to take down…I will need an advantage to gain a surprise attack…someway of infiltrating the village…and I know just the tool."_

A sick smile appeared on the large mans face. "Akane." said the man. In an instant a girl no older then ten appeared before him. The girl wore a serious expression in front of him, her brown hair was done back in a ponytail.

"Yes, Iwakage-sama?"

"You and your team will be going to the Chuunin exams several mounths from now…we are going to war with Konoha."

"And may I ask why?" she questioned raising an eyebrow. The Kage smirked and in a similar way that of Orochimaru he walked up to her and placed his mouth by her ear.

"The Bloody Whirlwind."

At that her eyes widened and one might notice the shaking fists she now possessed. The air grew dark as her chakra began to circle around her, plants that were in various corners of the room withered and died, dried up by something.

"Very well."

* * *

The sun was setting in the village of Konoha. Naruto and Anko strode down the streets with broad grins upon their faces. Naruto's arm was on Anko's shoulders and Anko's arm was on Naruto's shoulders. They marched down the town proudly, still very much drunk. Their faces were flushed to a great degree so it didn't take a genius to know what they had been doing. Well maybe it did…they had done a lot of things in town from public disturbances to freaking out the kids in the park.

They did it because it was all harmless fun; no one was hurt and even a few people laughed. Their steps were in sync with one another they passed a group of still attractive women in there early thirties. As Anko and Naruto walked by one of them mumbled something. "snake slut."

At this Anko froze only a foot or so away. Her smile was gone, as her back was turned to them. A second after they had stopped Naruto began stumbling backwards; perhaps the sudden stop had thrown him off balance. He eventually fell and grabbed onto the woman; who had made the comment, skirt in an attempt to stay up. It tore as he landed on his back, revealing a black lacey thong.

The woman blushed insanely at that. The smile was back on Anko's face, however no one had even noticed it had left in the first place. "Wow…I don't even thinkkkk I own that kindddd." said Anko with drunken smile. The woman blushed even more and grabbed hold of the torn skirt from Naruto's hands.

"Hehehe sorry about that." said Naruto getting up, his face equally as flushed as Anko. The group of woman ran off completely mortified. Anko swung her arm around Naruto's shoulder and he did the same, until they were in the previous walking position they had been in before.

"Onward Naru-chan!!" shouted Anko.

"Hai Anko-chan!!!" said Naruto with equal enthusiasm. Anko's smile was even wider then before, she didn't know if what had just happened was on purpose or and accident, her drunken mind couldn't process it; but at the moment she was happier.

They arrived at her apartment soon after. "Don't be a stranger. It's a lot more fun if you come to work." said Naruto still drunk.

"OKAYYYY!!!" shouted Anko smiling widely as she walked up to her door and open it. Naruto left soon after. Anko closed the door and her smile disappeared, her face remained flushed but it now wore a deep frown.

"_snake slut."_

That line appeared in her head. She walked over to her bed and lied down before passing off into sleep.

* * *

Authors note: Well tadaaaaaaa… hope you liked it. The thing with Anko is she puts on a mask similar to the Naruto of the show. She is very depressed inside and it is slowly driving her insane. But Naruto as well as the people of the ramen stand are slowly going to start changing that.

Also I want to point out that neither Naruto nor Anko have any romantic feelings for eachother at this point. It was completely flirtatious as well as a game to them.

I'm not really a pervert just a guy. The perverted material you may read in this story is mostly for the sake of comedy. I personally find it hysterical.

I'm also not bashing Hinata I just thought making her a pervert was funny. If the story is weighing to much on the comedic side for your taste I am sorry. I am trying to show Naruto solve all these complicated and serious problems in an idiotic way that has real wisdom behind it. There is a serious side to this story and at times it will show itself.

I'm telling you right now that my story while funny isn't going to be all comedy. Orochimaru is going to play a die-hard villain and not be gay, or even to comedic when he is showing in this story. His appearances will be that of pure evil, as will most of the villains.

And yeah this is now 'M' rated. I don't plan on a sex scene because I would have no clue how to write it. But stuff like you read with Anko and Naruto, plus the Icha Icha book readings might get a little heavy. Plus Naruto may do things at one time or another with various women and changing the rating is the best way for me to cut loose.

Some of you may have put together some of Naruto's past by now. I'm going to tell you right now that the girl from the stone is not going to be someone he ends up with, however she will play an important role.


	6. Chapter 6

But he's just a ramen chef!

Authors note: you know I comes to the point where no matter how much I say I'm sorry, it just isn't good enough. People don't hold your breaths when it comes to my updates, they are all completely random, and I may be doing something else. For the past four day I have been watching all 26 episodes of Ouran High School Host Club. It is now one of my most favorite anime's. I know it seems weird of a guy probably a lot of you now hate to ask but, does anyone know of any show like Host Club. I mean art style or plot wise. If so tell me. Anyway on with this fic, I have to tell you all right now I did my best with it and I feel good about it.

Viperflamers attorney: Warning: this fic may in the past, present, and future contain scenes of underage drinking

Viperflamer: LIES ALL LIES!!!!

Viperflamers attorney: This is a work of fiction and is in no way meant to be taken seriously

Viperflamer: (picks his nose) Yeah so don't do something and blame it on me

Chapter six

* * *

_The boy with the fox mask stood in an open field in a forest, he spun around looking franticly at all the bodies soiling the earth. The five-year-old girl was in front of him crying._

"_Monster." she said calmly. She looked down and clenched her fists tight. They began to shake with anger. "Monster."_

"_MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER!!!" she screamed repeatedly, as she shook her head back and forth._

_He felt himself take a step back and then stopped. He felt something wet dripping on his feet. He looked down, and eyes widened. He looked at his hands, covered in blood…so much blood._

_It flowed off them in streams through his fingers, each red river splashing the ground and dying it a new color. He tried to shake it off but it continued to flow. _

_He heard the girl scream again and looked up. She now brandished a kunai she had gotten off one of the fallen bodies._

"_I'll kill you…" she said in a whisper, struggling to find her cracking voice._

_The boy took a step back or at least tried to. Something had gripped his foot and was now holding him in place. He looked down and screamed in panic; one of the dead bodies had come to life and was holding on. Naruto looked back and saw one by one the sea of bodies began to rise._

_He looked into the forest and saw ghostly shadows appearing, each face was another blank expression. There identities lost to him in the swarm of confusion that was his job._

_Soon more of the bodies began to grab hold of him. He struggled and panicked even attempting to bat a few away, but it was all in vein. They continued in countless numbers, and the little girl slowly walked over to him. She held the kunai in her hands high as she drew closer._

_She stopped barely a few inches away. _

"_Die"

* * *

_

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS??" shouted Shikamaru in the ramen stand.

Naruto stood behind the counter, a shogi board in front of him. Anko was clinging on his back and rubbing herself against him. "I'mm afraid I-I –hic- havee no clueeeee what yourrr talking about." said Naruto.

On the other side of the counter sat Shikamaru, practically tearing his hair out. He put his hands together and stared at the board as if it were on fire. His eyes scanned rapidly. "It just doesn't make any sense." Said Shikamaru.

"Naru-chan is amazinggg!!!" shouted Anko holding up a sake bottle. "You deserve some of this while you tell me all about your victory."

"But of coarse Anko-chan." said Naruto with a drunken smile. He turned away from the game and held his sake saucer out. Anko then began pouring some with a goofy grin. "Let's see where to begin…it all started when I moved one of those little wooden thingys around the board."

Shikamaru practically cried as he heard Naruto explain an elaborate story that absolutely made no sense in the world of shogi.

"how…how does he keep beating me?"

"Let it go Shikamaru." said Asuma taking a drag from his cigarette. "Better men then you have tried and failed to figure out the way that boy's mind works."

"But it doesn't make any sense…he was just randomly moving pieces at random intervals of time…he said he's never even played before." said Shikamaru.

"Jeez it's just a game." said Ino as she slurped up some more noodles from her ramen. "I never thought you would freak out this much about it."

"I never thought he would lose." said Chouji.

Anko and Naruto were currently on the ground battling with their…tongues. Inari looked at them from the sink as he washed dishes. He looked from them over to his mother, who was currently squeezing the life from a rag in her hands as she glared…jealously over at the two. A deep blush was on her face, and her expression was not exactly anger but rather…disappointment.

Inari being the innocent ten year old he was, didn't know what to think. However one question did pop into his mind. "Mommy…is Anko-chan Naruto's girlfriend?"

Tsunami looked away from the two at her son and sighed. She bent down to his level and put a hand on his head. She then smiled. "Inari…do you know what a whore is?" Inari nodded. "Good that'll save us some time…well you see while Naruto and Anko are not whore's they have the same 'playful' type of attitude. This allows them to be more…intimate…with out having to commit to each other."

"Oh…well then do you want to be 'playful' with Naruto as well?"

There was an awkward silence between the two for a while. Tsunami's mind was working a mile a minute, trying to think of what to do or say.

"Oh my daughter how could youu?" said Tazuna as he stumbled behind her scaring Tsunami half to death. One might notice the red flush across his face. "I thought those days were behind you, now your gonna go out and start-"

"DAD!!" shouted Tsunami face beet read, she was embarrassed beyond belief. "What are you doing here…when did you get here?"

"A father is always there when his child needs him." said Tazuna. Tsunami just looked at him. "Fine I have no where else to go during my day. Where's Ayame and that no eyebrow fella, and his gay friend"

* * *

Across town Haku sneezed. "Oh you hear that, some luck guy must be talking about you." said Ayame.

Haku fell to his knees and started crying not that Ayame saw. Comedic tears were trailing down his face. "Zabuza-sama why does everyone think I'm gay…I'm not I'm really not."

Zabuza just stared at him. _"This is really becoming an obsession of his…maybe he really is…no can't think those thoughts." _

"It's because you dress like a girl." said Zabuza and then walked away.

* * *

"Oh those guys, they just went out to do some shopping." said Tsunami.

"And when is the actual owner of the store coming back from his trip? I would like to know if my fragile child's job is secured." said Tazuna. Tsunami looked up and put her finger on her chin, as she thought.

"You know I'm not really sure I'll ask Naru-" she turned to see that Naruto was still 'busy'. "Ayame when she gets back."

Sasuke let off a cough to get the young chefs attention. Naruto stopped kissing Anko and looked up. He got off of her and went over to him; Anko still had a wet trail of saliva down her chin.

"What can I do for you Sasuke-san." said Naruto cheerfully, as if he had not just come from the floor.

"I would like a refill." said Sasuke holding out his bowl.

"I would as well." said Sakura beside him.

"Oh yeah sure, I forgot about Midget-san anyway." said Naruto as he refilled their bowls. He then went and placed Hanabi's bowl in front of the usual empty chair in the stand.

Kakashi looked up from his book as Naruto was walking away. "Uhh Naruto, not to but in or anything…but not only does Hanabi never eat the food when its placed there but…she's not even here in the stand."

Naruto stopped mid-step and turned his head. He rushed over to the counter and looked around at all the booths. "Midget-san!!!" he yelled in the stand. "Midget-san are you there somewhere!?"

Team 10, the ramen workers, and surprisingly team 7 had finally noticed the Hyuuga's absence as well. "Where is she?" asked Sakura.

"Well I'd imagine since it's her birthday tomorrow, she's at home preparing the festivities."

"HER WHAT!!!" shouted everyone in the stand.

"Didn't you know?" said Kakashi innocently. "The Hyuuga's are having a large party with more then half of Konoha attending. All the clans will be there."

"…huh?"

* * *

Hyuuga Hanabi sat in front of a mirror brushing her beautiful brown hair. While she didn't wear a smile, she was in a particular good mood. Even though she wasn't the heiress to the clan, she was still the Heads daughter, and as such she was allowed a large party as recognition of that. It was also her chance to show she was a model Hyuuga and would do her clan proud.

It was a minor hope, but she felt if she could demonstrate she was more proper and deserving then her sister, the clan might reconsider placing her as a branch member. A knock sounded from her door, and she called for the person to enter.

She turned around and for the first time in a while a smile appeared on Hanabi's lips. "Oba-chan." said Hanabi. An elderly woman walked in, a smile on her face.

"Well hello there little Hanabi." said the woman with an even bigger smile. Hyuuga Himiko was the mother of current Hyuuga head Hyuuga Hiashi. Former head of clan herself and now one of the chief elders in the Hyuuga Council, she was a very important woman.

She was also the kindest, nicest, and most selfless Hyuuga of all, second only to Hinata, not that anyone knew that about the later. Yet she was also strong and firm, and the only person in the clan Hanabi had any love for. Unlike the rest of the clan, and elders who showed Hanabi little acknowledgement, her grandmother was kind and supportive.

In fact the only thing that Hanabi didn't like about her grandmother was that she treated Hinata just as well. But she wasn't going to let her sister ruin the one person that made her happy, so she ignored that little detail.

"Oba-chan, how are you? What are you doing here?" asked Hanabi.

"Well you know me I had to see my little Hanabi before her big day." said Hitomi with a smile. "Also I must inform you that your escort was sadly called away on a mission, but I believe I have an idea of someone who can help."

Hanabi nodded. Her escort was to be a member of the branch family. His job would have been to follow her, dance with her, and basically make sure she had a good time. She couldn't help but wonder who her grandmother would get to be her new escort.

* * *

Hinata stood on her training ground with her teammates. Their sensei was currently giving a lecture on how to use their abilities as one. After she was done explaining Hinata called their attention. "Um, most of you have probably already heard, being members of major clans yourself." said Hinata looking down at the ground nervously. "But tomorrow is my sisters birthday..and…well I'm aloud to invite anyone I wish to…so would you all like to come."

"Well I think my mom was gonna force me to go anyway so why not." said Kiba with a smile.

"My clan was also asking me to attend, coming with you instead would make no difference in there eyes so…yes." said Shino is his monotone type voice.

Hinata smiled then looked over at her sensei; who just gave a happy nod. Hinata bowed to them. "Arigato." said Hinata

* * *

In a different training area another group sat. One boy with strange eyebrows was currently counting out impossible numbers as he pounded a log. He was like a mini clone of his sensei; who was currently shouting out something about 'flames of youth'.

A brown haired Hyuuga boy stood next to a tree not to far away, watching the scene. Behind him a girl with buns in her hair was currently throwing kunai at a target hitting the bull's-eye dead on. It was amazing because she was reading a magazine as she did so.

"Listen uh…team." said the Hyuuga boy.

"Quiet my youthful student Lee, our beloved comrade Neji has something to say." said Gai with a little too much enthusiasm.

"What is it Neji?" asked Tenten.

"Tomorrow is…my cousins birthday." said Neji. His teammates took note that he clenched his fists as he said this. "I would like it if you all attend, while you all lack the importance of most of those coming…it would…be nice if you came."

Team Gai found it very hard to keep straight faces at the awkwardness in Neji's voice. "We will attend this party and demonstrate the FLAMES OF YOUTH!!!" shouted Gai.

"Gai-sensei, the Flames of Youth shall burn brightly as I Rock Lee enter the dance floor!!!" shouted Lee with excitement.

"That it will my beloved student, and maybe finally Tenten will grace us with a more feminine Flaming Passion then she normally does!!!" shouted Gai.

"What?!" said Tenten whose eye was now twitching.

* * *

Ayame and her fellow ramen vendors stood in the kitchen working busily. She had just finished teaching Zabuza that you need to make the dough resemble noodles BEFORE you put them in the pot to cook.

"ITS NOT THAT HARD ZABUZA!!!!!" shouted Ayame annoyed. "Even Naruto got it when he was first learning, and while his cooking is just unnatural and a miracle you are definitely smarter then he is."

"Yes Ayame-chan." said Zabuza looking down.

"Huh…just go wash some plates with Tsunami." Said Ayame with a sigh. Zabuza nodded and left. Not long after a crashing was heard and Ayame didn't need to look to know what it is. "Isn't he supposed to be some amazing shinobi? How can he not know how to wash dishes."

Ayame went over to the sink with her frying pan and soon a loud clang was heard. As this was going on Hanabi walked into the stand.

"Ah Hanabi how nice of you to join us." said Kakashi not looking up from his book.

"Kakashi-sensei team 7…it was recommended by the council that I invite you to attend my birthday festival tomorrow. If you do decide to attend then please wear something more…tasteful."

"Yeah will do we'll all be there." said Kakashi speaking for team 7. Hanabi nodded.

"Now I have to ask…what's her problem." said Hanabi pointing over to one of the counter stools. On it sat Anko with her head down, comedic tears going down her cheeks.

"Naru-chan why did you leaveee." said Anko as she sobbed. "I'm soooooooooooooooooooo bored."

Everyone in the stand sweat dropped. "Naruto left to take care of something, he'll be back later."

"Like I care to know about that idiot." said Hanabi with a snort.

* * *

Hinata stood on a different training ground going through various steps in her Jyuuken. Naruto sat under the tree watching. He soon got up and walked over to her. "That's enough Hinata." said Naruto looking serious.

Hinata stopped and looked over at her second sensei. "Is there something wrong?" asked Hinata.

"You need to be more loose and fluid." said Naruto. "You need to be like sake."

"S-sake???" said Hinata.

"Sake takes the shape of whatever container it enters." said Naruto almost philosophically. "It adapts and changes…you need to do that with your movements."

"But Naruto-sensei doesn't it make more sense to use water as an example instead of sake?" asked Hinata with a deadpanned expression.

"Water, sake they're the same thing the only difference is I like sake better." said Naruto with a child like expression. "SO sense sake is better then the answer is, sake."

"Umm…okay." said Hinata. Naruto walked closer to her and went behind her. He grabbed her arms and put her in the correct form. Hinata was blushing red the entire time.

"Like I said…flow." said Naruto as he began moving with her in movements

Hinata blushed even further._ "Dear god is it just me or is he quoting Icha Icha."_

_Chapter six of Icha Icha Paridise Volume 5._

"_We mustn't Tai we'll be caught." Said Kira from underneath him._

"_It's alright you just got to flow with me." said Tai._

"_Flow?" said Kira. Tai smiled and then leaned in and kissed her passionately. There tongues battled for what seemed like forever before the broke apart._

"_Like I said…flow." said Tai as he made her moan._

_End…or is it?_

Hinata smiled at the memory of that scene. _"Ah what a great scene that was, and I thought Tai was going to go with Kira's hot but manipulate sister."_ Hinata had been doing the form perfectly as she fantasized. She didn't even notice Naruto had stopped guiding her ten minutes ago.

"Hinata…well done." And suddenly the perfection stopped as she came to and looked around.

"What…when did you…oh my." said Hinata confused.

"Huh?" said Naruto. "Okay…whatever you were just doing do it again and your style will be perfect."

"oh…okay." said Hinata embarrassed. _"Now I have to think about Icha Icha when I fight as well…it's taking over my life."_

Hinata stopped her train of thought as she remembered something she wanted to ask." Um Naruto-sensei." said Hinata.

Naruto looked over at her. "What is it Hinata-chan?"

"Well you see tomorrow is my sisters birthday and I would like it if you could come." she said looking down.

"Sorry but I was planning on going to the hot springs tomorrow and 'relaxing', its my day off."

"Oh…okay then…I understand." said Hinata looking even farther down. She seemed rather sad at this.

A small smile came to Naruto's lips. "Tell you what, maybe sometime near the end I'll stop by. I'll sneak in if I have to." said Naruto. "But have a good time okay."

Hinata looked up happily at this. "Okay, well I have to go see you soon Naruto-sensei."

Hinata then ran off leaving Naruto to himself…or was he.

"Excuse me…Uzumaki Naruto."

* * *

Konaha was abuzz with excitement. The main road leading to the Hyuuga estate was covered with festival like decorations. Stands and entertainment were everywhere, giving the common folk, who were sadly not invited to the main party, entertainment.

Kids ran about the streets and all were having a good time in the more common setting. Inside, the Hyuuga estate was quite different; it took on a more formal western style. A string quartet played on a small stage in the corner of the garden. Many important members of Konoha's upper crust were present, each of them wearing expensive formalwear. The garden itself seemed to have recently been remodeled to fit the occasion. A large fountain sat in the center of the events, and waiter walked around serving refreshments.

A large buffet was present which the Akimichi clan members were currently hogging. Hanabi blinked that the scene, the clan had certainly spared no expense to make sure the party was enjoyable. She was surprised that so much had been spent for her, but eventually came to the assumption that it was just a good chance to show the clan's power and wealth.

All the guests greeted her with a bow, and she put on a fake smile pretending to care. She was rather uncomfortable as the entire clan was present, the exception being her father and her old escort.

She wandered around greeting people so not to be rude, until she finally found someone she recognized. She was more then a little shocked to see Sakura and Sasuke with her sensei near by. Truth be told she hadn't expected them to come.

"Happy birthday Hanabi." said Sakura. She was currently wearing a strapless evening dress that clung to her, showing of her rather developed body, as well as exaggerating some other areas…it looked nice.

Sasuke was wearing a black formal sports jacket. His collar was popped and his tie was very loose, and it came as no surprise that some of his fan club was ogling while they hid.

And her sensei looked well…the same. He wore his usual Jounin uniform; the only new thing was a bow tie that didn't go with the out fit around his neck. As for Hanabi herself, she wore a single strapless black dress. It made her look older and exaggerated some of her curves.

"Ah, Hanabi these must be your teammates."

And for the first time team 7 saw Hanabi smile. They were more then surprised by her reaction to the woman coming closer to them. They all agreed though that Hanabi looked rather cute when she smiled.

"Oba-chan." said Hanabi happily. She walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"My, my you seem in a good mood." said Hitomi. She looked around. "My word Hanabi is your escort not here yet, he should be with you right now."

"I have seen no one designating themselves as my escort." said Hanabi. Hitomi sighed at this.

"Very well then, please enjoy the party while I try and find someone for you to dance with." said Hitomi.

"D-da-dance." said Hanabi shocked. "I have to dance?"

"Why yes I thought you knew. It is a costume to have the birthday girl dance the Waltz in front of the guests."

Hanabi gulped. "Oh." she said.

"Well I'm off now. Enjoy the party Hatake-san, Haruno-san, Uchiha-san." And with that she left a very nervous Hanabi.

Sakura seemed to sense this. "Are you okay Hanabi?" asked Sakura.

"Y-yes, fine."

"You can't dance can you." said Kakshi reading his book. A perverted giggle was heard from him soon after.

"Well uhhh."

"Don't worry, in the Waltz the male leads and it is likely your grandmother found you an escort that can dance." said Kakashi.

"But Kakashi-sensei her escort hasn't shown up." said Sakura. Hanabi seemed to have visibly paled at this.

"Not to worry Hitomi-sama said she would handle it, the situation hasn't changed. She will most likely find someone who can dance."

"Yeah your right." shouted Sakura. "And if she can't then Sasuke will dance with you."

"I can't dance." stated Sasuke calmly.

Sakura froze; she slowly turned to look at Sasuke. Her image of him shattered in that moment. "Okay its nothing to worry about. Lets all just calm down and-" Sakura was freaking out. Her image of Sasuke as some sort of heroic prince was crumbling down. She didn't know what to think, if she was wrong about him then who else was she wrong about. _"No no its okay lots of people can't dance, maybe he can but just chooses not to. Yeah that's it."_

"**_Your damn right that's it!!!" _**shouted Inner Sakura.

"Um Sakura are you okay?" asked Kakashi. Sakura blinked and then looked up.

"Uh yeah."

"Well thank you all for coming, please enjoy yourselves." said Hanabi walking away. Team 7 just waved her off before Sakura started coming up with plans on how to teach Sasuke to dance. They all fell upon deaf ears though.

* * *

Anko was wearing a black dress that pretty much could be considered underwear. She had fishnet underneath doing little to hide her modesty. Anko snuck around behind one of the Hyuuga males present. "Oh I'm so happy honey, I'm so glad you could get away from your wife." She said.

"Wh-wha-"

"WIFE YOU HAVE A WIFE YOU LECHER!!!" screamed the girl the man was attempting to seduce.

Anko walked away her fun had been had and her work was done. "It would have been more fun if Naru-chan was here." said Anko to herself. She had snuck into the party uninvited, she had tried to find Naruto before then so they could do it together, but alas he was no where to be found.

Consequently, do to her not watching where she was going. Anko walked into someone knocking them over. "I'm sorry I wasn't KURENAI-CHAN!!" shouted Anko happily as she jumped on top of her fallen friend. She brought her face extremely close to the other woman's and began petting her cheek. Anko forced on her patented blush on her face, and brushed the sides of their faces together bringing their lips across each other's. "I missed you, why are you here."

"I was invited." said Kurenai pushing the other girl off her before they made even more of a scene. "Why are you here."

"Bored, and thought I'd have fun." said Anko.

"So you snuck in huh." said Kurenai with a disapproving look. "Are you bored of your little Naru-chan already."

"I wish, I couldn't find him." said Anko faking tears.

"Um excuse me sensei but who is this?" asked a curious Kiba.

"Ah team 8 allow me to introduce you to my good friend.-"

"Just call me Anko-chan, hey aren't you the Hyuuga that was with Naru-chan do you know where he is I want my playmate?" stated Anko looking at Hinata.

"I invited him, but he said he couldn't come." said Hinata. Anko looked down at this. "But he also said he might try and swing by near the end.

"Well it's almost that time." said Kurenai pointing to the sky. The sun was setting, which left the dance and then the feast soon after, followed by a range of small activities, but people usually left after the feast once they had congratulated the birthday girl.

* * *

"Your kidding Sasuke-kun doesn't know how to dance." said Ino in shock. Sakura just nodded. Behind her Kakashi was talking to Asuma while Chouji devoured the food at the buffet. Shikamaru was under a tree looking at the sun, and Sasuke was not far away looking half asleep. "Hey is Naruto here?" questioned Ino.

"I don't think so, not a lot of civilians were invited, and Naruto isn't exactly high on Hanabi's favorites." said Sakura.

"So Kakashi, I hear Gai is looking for you something about a challenge." said Asuma. Kakashi closed his book.

"Asuma." Said Kakashi looking up. Asuma gave a quizzical look. "Hide me." And with that the two disappeared.

* * *

"KAKASHI!!! MY ETERNAL RIVAL WHERE ARE YOU!!!" shouted Gai.

"Gai-sensei who is this Kakashi!!" shouted Lee with enthusiasm.

"He is my eternal hip rival. His Flames of Youth burn with the utmost intensity." said Gai.

"Hey Neji." Whispered Tenten from behind her comrades. "Do you think that means he's a lot like Gai-sensei."

"The only person alive that is like Gai-sensei is Lee." said Neji in a calm monotone voice.

"But what if there related?" asked Tenten.

"…" There was silence but Tenten still looked for a reply. "Then heaven help us all." said Neji.

"Ah my beloved student have you wished your cousin well on her burning day of youth!!?" asked Gai with his large pearly white smile.

"No." said Neji flatly. They ended the discussion there, if Neji didn't do so they understood why.

"Well I say we get something to eat…look there is a small ramen stand working near the buffet." said Gai. As they made there way over.

"Remember Lee while your at this party make sure not to drink anything alcoholic. We don't want a repeat of last time." said Tenten shivering as she thought about it.

"I won't." promised Lee. "For if I do I will run laps around Konoha until day break."

* * *

The atmosphere was perfect, the music was classy and calming, the food was great, and there were plenty of people. So why did Hyuuga Hanabi find herself bored?

Its not that she didn't appreciate the fact that all these people were here for her, rather that she just didn't have anything to do. It was at that moment Hanabi saw the reason for an escort. She silently began to curse the fact that he wasn't there. She was brought out of her silent personal feuding when a choice few names came to her ears.

"Zabuza you idiot!!!"

She turned around faster then the Hyuuga Kaitan jutsu, a feat many would be astounded by, to see a small stand called Ichiraku's Ramen. Her heart stopped at that moment. She ran over at a lightning quick pace.

"Ayame-san!!" she said in a urgent voice.

"Ah, Hyuuga-sama." said Ayame. "What can I do for you?"

"He's not here is he?" she questioned dreading the answer.

"Who Naruto, no he has the day off, a shame to our stand would be a hit if he was here."

Hanabi felt herself let go of a breath she wasn't even aware she was holding. "Thank you."

She walked away in a daze thanking her luck. She was lost in thoughts of gratitude to whatever higher being there was, that she didn't notice she wandered to the dance floor. All were silent as she approached; her eyes were glazed over not that anyone noticed this.

She continued on not noticing her path. "And now I would like to introduce to you Hyuuga Hanabi who will dance the Waltz with her escort…Uzumaki Naruto."

Time froze at that moment, her heart pounded. _"What?"_ At that moment the crowed parted and a young man made his way through the crowd. Many people lost their breath at the sight of him. Hanabi's eyes became large.

Naruto wore a formal tuxedo; it was fine, clean, and fancy. His hair was still spiky but not in the messy way, each lock of hair framed his features perfectly. His ponytail seemed to have been sleeked back, giving him a more appropriate appearance. His purple shaded sunglasses were gone, and in there place was a pair of well designed normal wire framed glasses. They seemed to accentuate his features making him look more of a gentleman. His face held no cruel or unkind look, it was calm and in one word from the ladies…desirable.

His steps were calculated and unrushed. He was not in a hurry, and gave off an air of politeness. He stopped walking a few feet away from Hanabi and bowed. He held out a hand and gave a gentle smile, which caused more then several women in the audience to faint.

"Hanabi-san." said Naruto gently. Hanabi felt her cheeks begin to burn, and knew she was blushing. Naruto had always been hot, she knew that but she wasn't attracted. Even now she wasn't necessarily attracted, but confused. She accepted his hand so as not to make a scene and embarrass herself and her clan.

The second she took his hand he pulled her close and the music started. She found herself lost in the moment as he guided her perfectly. It was truly a beautiful scene and many were giving unconscious smiles at the two.

Hanabi finally regained some sense as a thought entered her mind. _"What's he planning."_

Naruto whose face was calm and composed appeared lost in the music, uncaring and making the scene romantic. But on the INSIDE.

"_How the hell did this happen to me?"

* * *

_

_Flashback…_

"_Excuse me…Uzumaki Naruto."_

_Naruto turned around to see Hyuuga Hitomi not far away. "And what can I do for you Hyuuga-sama?" asked Naruto. A smile graced the features of the elderly Hyuuga._

"_I have a favor I would like to ask of you." said Hitomi._

"_I'm sorry but I'm not one for favors." said Naruto. He didn't want to be rude but he had a gut feeling that the situation was a bad one._

"_I'm sorry to…I made it seem like you had a choice." said Hitomi. Naruto's eyebrow rose up. "You see I know Hinata has midnight readings of Icha Icha Paradise, I also know that it was you that got her into it."_

"_And you point." said Naruto not liking where this was going._

"_My point is I wonder what would happen if her father found out, not only about that she reads it but about the person who introduced her." said Hitomi with a smile. "I also wonder what would happen if a certain concerned grandmother were to over exaggerate the relationship between his daughter and this person then well…"_

_She let Naruto fill in the blanks and pretty soon he was on the floor crying. Hitomi gave a small innocent smile. "Come now it's really a simple favor."_

"_Fine…what is it?"_

"_You will escort my granddaughter tomorrow at her birthday. This will require you to dance the Waltz, and show her a good time." _

_A smirk appeared on Naruto's face. "But I can't dance." said Naruto happily._

"_Now now Naruto don't lie to me…from what I remember of that little four year old boy…you danced quite well with my…now deceased daughter-in-law."_

_The smile on Naruto's face disappeared and a calm far away look appeared on his face. "Okay I'll do it…I'm glad to." Hitomi heard the honesty in his voice and smiled._

"_Excellent." She soon began to walk away. "Oh and one more thing…no drinking."_

"_WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????"_

_End Flashback…

* * *

_

"_Huh, no sake…how sad…I might die…oh well."_ Naruto looked down at Hanabi's face as they danced. All arrogance was gone and she seemed to be just like him going along with this dance and even…enjoying it. Her eyes seemed rather happy. _"It could be worse."_ Another small but true smile appeared on Naruto's face at that.

* * *

Everyone was mesmerized by the two's movements, you could never tell that one of them had never danced before. Kakashi lifted up the tablecloth so he could watch. He was currently hiding from Gai right now. A smile came to his face and his eye made a 'U'.

"Naruto-sama really seems to be enjoying himself." said Asuma lighting up a cigarette. He stood next to the table that Kakashi was hiding under.

"Yeah it would seem so."

* * *

Gai froze as he watched the two; his expression became calm and happy. He stopped acting loud and just stood there and watched. His team instantly noticed this.

"Gai-sensei…is something wrong?" asked Lee.

"No Lee…nothings wrong." said Gai, his face like many of those present held a small modest smile.

"Do you know that boy dancing?" asked Tenten.

"Hai." said Gai.

Lee gave him a questioning glance. "Gai-sensei, you look really happy." stated Lee.

"I'm just glad for him that's all." said Gai. He was currently driving his team mad with his short answers that left even more questions. Quite different from how it usually is.

"I don't understand Gai-sensei, why are you glad?"

"You see Lee…of all the Flames in Konoha his has always been but a spark…but right now I can see, it burns the brightest of them all."

The questions stopped there but Team Gai did not stop watching…and did not stop wondering.

The music finally stopped and the two ended their dance. The crowd roared with applause. And soon other people entered the dance floor as the band set up to play again.

Hanabi just stared at Naruto, her face curious and wondering. What were they to do next? "Now Midget-san…what would you like to do next." said Naruto. His old mischievous face returning, leaving Hanabi's eye twitching.

"Nothing with you, you idiot of a chef." said Hanabi.

"Naru-chan!!!" shouted Anko as she jumped behind Naruto, her breasts were almost revealed but she pressed them into his back. Leaving them to feel against him. She brought her face to the side of his and whispered in his ear. "I missed you …where were you I was having fun without you."

"Well you see…" Naruto trailed off. The sight of Hyuuga Hitomi entering his field of vision. Her expression was not that of worry anger or threat, but Naruto had a feeling he should continue to escort Hanabi. "Sorry Anko-chan, but duty calls." At this Naruto grabbed Hanabi's hand and guided her away. Anko just stood there and put her hands on her hips.

People soon began staring at her exposed breasts, which she didn't bother to cover up as she walked away.

Naruto took Hanabi away from the crowd into a more secluded area. To his surprise there was a bench present giving a perfect view of the Hokage monument. In the distance next to the scene of the monument was the bright full moon. It was truly quite the view.

Naruto sat both them down and looked at the sky. "So tell me Midget-san…are you having a good time?" asked Naruto with a sheepish grin.

"I was having a great time until you showed up." said Hanabi emotionlessly.

"Well now that' s a shame…I thought you were happy when we were dancing."

Hanabi blushed a little at the thought of that moment. "I hate you." she said.

"No you don't." said Naruto calmly. Hanabi looked at him surprised, she had expected him to say something similar. "You can't hate someone you don't even know."

She hated to admit it but his logic was true, she really didn't know anything about him, not that she really cared.

"You look a lot like your mother." said Naruto suddenly. Hanabi looked up at him with wide eyes. "Personality wise she was similar to your sister, but in looks…she was like you."

Hanabi didn't say anything; she stopped listening at the mention of her sister. "But then again I don't know you all that well either…maybe you are like her."

Hanabi looked back at him, she had never known her mother, she had died a year after her birth from a disease. "Did…did you know her well?" asked Hanabi.

"Somewhat…she was very important to me for the short time we were together." said Naruto. "I meant what I said about you two…you have her eyes."

Hanabi sweat dropped. "All Hyuuga have the same eyes idiot." said Hanabi.

"That's not true…otherwise there would be no difference between your eyes…and everyone else's."

Hanabi was more then a little shocked at his way of speaking. He seemed to possess some hidden wisdom, but Hanabi couldn't figure out for the life of her how.

"Back when I was four I danced with her, much like how I did with you." said Naruto. "When I looked at your eyes I got the same feeling of comfort I did when I danced with her."

Naruto got up and turned around. "Even so…I was a different person back then and couldn't appreciate that." Said Naruto. "Your mother I think sensed that so she told me these words. 'Restrictions, expectations, these are the wall like boundaries that cage us all…but a cage always holds something meant to be free…and hopefully one day you will be able to escape these boundaries that keep you caged and become…truly happy'."

Naruto was about to leave when he stopped again. "Happy Birthday...Hanabi."

And with that Naruto walked away, leaving a speechless Hanabi behind. Once he was gone Hanabi stared up at the moon and her grandmother came from behind the bushes. "He's right you know." She said. "You, like he did, probably don't understand those words true meaning now but I hope you will one day."

Hanabi let a soft smile appear as she nodded.

* * *

_Ichraku's Ramen stand the next day…_

"I did it I did it!!!" shouted Zabuza happily. "Ayame-san is it good."

Ayame took her chopsticks and tasted the ramen. She didn't say a word but picked up her now dented frying pan and smacked him over the head. "Work harder." she said.

Teams 7 and 10 smiled at this and soon ramen was put in front of them, which they all began to eat. They took notice that Hanabi was sitting at the counter today with all of them. Naruto placed a bowl of ramen that she never ate in front of her. The team sighed, but then nearly choked on their ramen as she slowly began to eat.

Her eyes were closed and she ate at a slow calm pace. Teams 7 and 10 couldn't believe it. What did this mean, does she like it, have her feelings changed towards it. Naruto appeared not to notice anything as he whipped up another few bowls.

Hanabi finished and put her chopsticks down. And the stand fell silent.

"Adequate."

* * *

Authors note: Done hope you all liked. A few things, no Hanabi has not really learned her lesson yet, it is still developing, this was just one step. I hope you all liked it. I also want to point out that in this story while a lot o parts can be considered comedy there is a deeper meaning to the story. A lot of you seem to know that but I'm just clarifying. I personally like the way I incorporate some of these elements.

Please feel free to give me a couple of comments, not necessarily criticism just your thoughts on a few things. Anyway don't know when I'll update but I hope I've remained in your expectations in terms of quality when I do. Basically I hope my chapters are worth the wait.


	7. Chapter 7

But he's just a ramen chef!

Authors note: Hi…I'm doing something a little different with this chapter…It's like a flashback _but it won't be in writing like this._

Chapter 7

* * *

Konoha's gates came into view and a red headed boy that seemed no older then fifteen drew closer. His expression was blank and he had a large gourd on his back. His body was covered in a sandy brown cloak and he wore a straw hat on his head. The guard noticed him immediately.

"Halt." said the chunnin. The boy came to a stop and looked at them. "Present your passport please."

The boy regarded them for a while, he seemed a little irritated. He dug his hand in his cloak pocket and pulled out a piece of paper.

Both chuunin froze at the sight of the paper, there eyes growing wide. They opened the gates and stood at attention with fear.

The boy walked into the village a blank expression still on his face. He stared in the sky and noticed how much cooler it seemed in Konoha. A smirk came to his face as he paused to look around. _"I wonder…are you well Naruto-dono."

* * *

_

Naruto snored louder then normal thru out the entire ramen-stand on top of his usual stacks of flour. The occupants of the stand stared at him, as he mumbled rather perverted things in his sleep. Ayame had a deadpanned look on her face as she walked up to him. She shook him gently keeping her face blank. 'Naruto-kun…Naruto-kun." she said. Naruto slowly woke up, and looked around confused.

"Ah crap…it was a dream…well….lets make it real." he said with a perverted grin. "SAKURA, INO PUT THESE ON!!!!"

Naruto seemed to pull some string thin bikinis from out of nowhere. Both Ino's and Sakura's mouths dropped wide open and blushes of embarrassment came to their faces. A vain appeared in Ayame's forehead and she slammed him over the head with her frying pan.

A large bump appeared on his head and swirls appeared in his eyes as stumbled around the stand dazed. "Yepppp just lIKe mY DReaM!!!!" he said dizzily before he passed out.

Everyone in the stand sweat-dropped. "I swear isn't there anything that idiot did seriously?" said Ayame looking at Naruto as his eyes continued to swirl. She stared at his face and her expression softened.

"Hey lOOk Sakura-chan and Ino-chan aRE NaKEd nOW." chirped Naruto from the floor as his head rang and eyes continued to spin, while he went into a dream.

Ayame's eye twitched. _"Nope…not one thing."_ she thought.

* * *

Two years ago, Suna.

A wagon carried forward by oxen made its way up to the city of sand, Suna. The driver was an older gentleman, with a rough face and sharp mind. By his attire it could be seen that he was a merchant.

He brought the oxen to a halt at the villages gates where the shinobi waited. "Reason for entrance?" said one of the guards.

"To sell some of my merchandise." said the man. The shinobi looked at one another, then back to the man.

"We will have to inspect your cargo." said the guard.

"Go ahead I got nothin to hide." said the man with a smirk. The shinobi walked to the back of the wagon, the man watching with mild interest as they went. He was an honest tradesman. He was carrying nothing that would be considered illegal. "I don't see why you need to bother." Said the man laughing. "There is nothing-"

The man's words were cut off as the guards jumped back and he heard snores erupt from the back of his wagon. The old man's eyes widened to impossible sizes and he immediately ran to the back of the cart. He appeared at its back in an instant and was stunned at the sight of a sleeping boy.

The boy had rather long blond hair and was clearly well built. A straw hat lied on his chest and purple sunglasses were on his face. The tradesman noticed the bottle of sake in the boys sleeping grip and the flushed look on his snoring face.

The old man looked back at the guard who by now already had back up. There was one Anbu squadron with them now. "Look I swear that I don't have any clue where this kid came from." said the man. "I was definitely not trying to smuggle him in."

"No one said you were." stated the Anbu captain calmly. "However given that you jumped to that particular conclusion does cause one to wonder."

The captain nodded and two Anbu members had the old man off his feet holding him under the armpits. "Hey HEY!!! I swear I wasn't trying anything." he shouted.

"Don't worry you won't be harmed." said the Anbu calmly. "We are only detaining you until we can figure some things out."

The Anbu captain then looked back at the wagon only to discover the boy…gone. There was a silence and the wind blew in the background. "Weasel." said the captain looking to his comrade with the weasel mask. "Where's the kid?"

Everyone blinked. "Uhh." said the group in unison.

"AHHHHHHHH HOLY CRAP SOOOO COOL!!!!!!!" shouted out someone behind them all.

They saw a blond boy stumble forward right up next to all of them with a goofy grin. It didn't take a genius to figure out the kid was drunk. They stared at him confused as he seemed to have stars in his eyes.

"Wow howwww great iss this?" said the boy. "I fall asleep in a cart with free sake and wake up to see AMAZING MASKED THEIVES!!!! LIFE IS SO EXCITING!!!!"

The Anbu squadron blinked again as they all thought the same thing in unison. _"Thieves?"_

"oh but wait…" said the boy as he sat down cross legged. He seemed to be going through serious thoughts as he lightly tapped his head with his fist. "Thieves are usually evil and rob people…but I have nothing to be robbed off…exceptttt foooorrrrrrrr myyyyyyyy….sake!"

Another silent wind blew through the dead quiet area. The boy looked up at all of them and stood up really fast. The Anbu tensed thinking it was a threat when they saw the drunken boy fall down from getting up to fast.

They all sweat-dropped at that. Weasel walked over to the kid, he was just some runt who had had too much to drink. "Hey kid you okay…you shouldn't drink that stuff we're going to have to confiscate it." said Weasel as he drew closer. He stood directly next to the kid. The boy was on his back and his eyes were closed. He was currently snoring.

Weasel leaned over the boy and was about to grab the sake bottle when the blondes eyes shot open. "BASTARD I KNEW IT YOUR AFTER MY SAKE!!!!" shouted the boy. A fist rocketed into Weasel's face sending him flying back.

The group acted immediately as they drew their swords. The boy stumbled to his feet and looked around. "Who are you?" asked the captain.

Naruto blinked and looked at him. "Oh helloooo Mister Shinobi!!!" shouted the boy louder then he needed to. He waved to them all; even though he was about four or five feet away from them all. "You'll protect me right, this man is a bandit and he tried to steal this." said Naruto holding out the sake bottle.

Naruto then blinked as he looked at the Anbu then back at the man he had just knocked out, then back at the Anbu. The cycle continued like this for a good while, before Naruto finally stopped. "He's dressed just like you…so that means he's shinobi…no no that can't be right he was trying to steal my sake…so the real answer here is that…" Naruto had his eyes closed the entire time he pondered these thoughts before he finally opened them. "YOU'RE ALL BANDITS TOO!"

The Anbu blinked and put away there swords, they wouldn't need them. It was quite clear that the kid was just some runt who had _way _too much to drink. The captain gave the signal and two more Anbu members went over to the boy.

"Now just relax kid, we aren't bandits." said the Anbu.

Naruto's face went chibified and comedic tears fell down his cheeks. "You're not?" he asked. His features softened and he appeared to trust them.

"We just need to take your sake and…check…your…passport?" the Anbu was trailing off. He was currently distracted by the intense evil aura surrounding the boy at the mention of taking his sake away.

"demon." said Naruto, as his look was now that of a crazed mad man. "You'll never TAKE IT!!!"

The Anbu were panicking, if there was one thing you never wanted to deal with it was a mad drunk. The evil look was still in Naruto's eyes.

"I'll…I'll (snore)." Naruto was now dead asleep standing up drool leaking from his mouth.

The Anbu sighed once again. It was tiring just to have a talk with the kid. The two members from earlier walked up to him and made a grabbing motion. He took a step back in his sleep and they missed there initial grab.

They tried for it again, and Naruto took another step back at the last second avoiding them. Now they were growing irritated as their eyebrows began to twitch. Naruto's snoring grew louder, and the Anbu made a series of rapid grabs for him. Naruto continued to doge as the grabbing sped up to impossible speeds.

The Captain as well as the remaining members watched in disbelief as the boy dodged at an amazing rate avoiding all attempts his subordinates made to grab him. It was quickly becoming a ridiculous and hilarious site. As the boy ran about the entire front area of the village in his sleep, successfully evading two of the most highly trained shinobi in Suna.

The two Anbu members collapsed and panted heavily on the ground. They stared up at the still sleeping boy, who at the moment didn't look the least bit winded.

"Captain SAVE US!!!" they shouted with comedic tears. The Captain sweat-dropped as did all those present.

"Alright surround him and keep your distance." said the Captain. They did as he said and formed a solid circle around Naruto, who was still sleeping and was now having a perverted dream.

They slowly drew in closer, before there commander finally gave the signal and they all dog piled on top of him. The Anbu Captain had to feel bad at the so unshinobi like act they had just performed.

It was all just so ridiculous though, it was only one boy who looked only to be thirteen. The Captain gave another sigh. _"But at least its over."_ he thought.

They were all squirming trying to make sure they had a solid grip on there captive. To a passerbyer it looked like they were having a fight as dust was kicked up and a large cloud formed around there figures.

"Wow you all sure like sake!!!" shouted a voice some distance away. All the members froze as they looked near the cart the merchant had brought. Naruto stood by it and leaned in it. He pulled out two more bottles of sake.

The Anbu members looked down. What they had been wrestling down had been each other and a bottle of sake.

"We will all have to drink some time." he shouted out as he walked in the gate of the village.

They blinked frozen. He was in the village. Naruto waved at them. They blinked again, he was around the corner. They all ran as fast as they could inside and looked around the corner. He was out of sight.

* * *

Naruto laughed merrily with his new bottles of sake tied to his waist. They clanged together with each step he took, giving them a clip clop rhythm. He was already in the heart of the city surrounded by the crowds of people going about there business. People paid him no mind because he wasn't the only drunk on the street. However he was the youngest and that did cause a few to stop and stare at him awkwardly. He brushed them off and went on his merry way.

He finally found what he was looking for in the city. In front of him only a couple of blocks away, was a ramen stand. He grinned to himself as he walked the short distance. However a short distance was nothing for Uzumaki Naruto; for by the time he reached the stand he had successfully done the following things: Scared some parents, stumble over six times in his drunken stupor, started a fight with the local street thugs, drank his sake, flirted with nine young female shinobi, and accidentally broke three priceless vases that had been on display outside a shop for all to view.

Yes he was truly a man of many talents. He stepped into the stand and noticed only a few people were inside.

A chef with a large beard appeared in front of him. "Welcome valued costumer." said the man. "Today's meals are half off, so save your money and get your fill."

Naruto looked at the man for a moment then took a swig of his sake. He then proceeded to belch rather loudly. "You the chef around here." said Naruto. The man looked at him curiously before he nodded. "I to am a chef and have traveled far to see how Suna's ramen is prepared."

A twinkle came in the man's eyes." Ah, I see you have heard of our reputation." said the man sticking his chest out.

Naruto was picking his nose. "Na, not really." he said. "Just trying to become a well rounded chef…, at least that's what the slave driving bastard old man calls it." Naruto mumbled the last part.

The man's eyes sharpened as he looked at the boy. "Very well…you may watch." he said leading Naruto to a stool. Naruto stumbled onto it with a goofy grin on his face. The man eyed him curiously before turning his attention to the food he was to prepare.

He started making the noodles and chopping up the ingredients. He did everything he normally would, except he was now self conscious about the blonde boy behind him. "Well, seeing as you came here to observe I might as well tell you what I am doing." said the man; not taking his eyes off his work.

He spent what seemed like forever telling the boy behind him just the right way to mix the ingredients. He explained the proper technique required as well as what cooking tools to use. In about ten minutes the ramen was done, and the man had a smug smirk on his face.

"You see that's how it's," the man turned around with the food. "done………"

Naruto snored loudly, a miniature pool of drool gathered on the counter. The boy mumbled in his sleep and had a red blush on his face. His smile showed off his intoxication as it seemed to have that perverse humor that all drunks shared. He giggled in his sleep and mumbled some random girl's name.

The man's eyebrow twitched at an uncontrolled rate. "you…" he said in a low voice. "YOU LITTLE BRAT!!!!"

Naruto woke with a startle and stared at the man in front of him. The chef was shouting out a war cry in the most obscene way. The man gave off an evil aura as he did so and almost resembled some sort of rugged animal. He held in his hands a rather large pan.

Naruto did the only thing he could do in that moment. He screamed. "Ahyayayayayayaya!!!" Narutos voice carried over the man's, and fountains of tears sprayed out of his eyes. The man stopped screaming as he stared at the boy, who was still shouting his head off.

"Hey." said the man.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Naruto continued to scream.

"Hey now calm-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"Just calm down now."

"AHHHHHHHHHHH…" Naruto stopped screaming and his eyes went blank. A small trail of drool came down his chin and his body was twitching. The boy had knocked himself out cold from screaming, but of coarse the chef didn't know that.

"HOLY SHIT!!!! HE'S DEAD!!!!!!" shouted the man. Naruto's unconscious form lied on the floor completely still in a way that could only be described as humorous. The chef was currently looking around frantically as the shouting had drawn a crowed.

However the murmurings of the crowed were silenced as one figure approached. It was a figure of terror and dread. His presence made the crowd freeze in fear, and sweat in horror.

The chef felt his mouth go dry at the approach of Gaara. The killer intent in the air was enough to make most Jounins quake with terror. Gaara stopped in front of the stand his eyes like daggers. "Who was the one causing such noise?" he asked in a demanding voice.

The chef backed away and raised a shaking hand to the unconscious Naruto. Gaara looked at the boy who was passed out on the ground. He raised his hand and his sand flew from his gourd. It hung in the air for a while before he finally pointed at Naruto.

The sand rushed towards the blonde at a furious pace and all looked away knowing what was to come. The sand slammed down on the blonde crushing the ground with a huge force.

Those gathered bowed their heads in silence. None of them new Naruto but no one deserved to be crushed like that. At least he hadn't felt anything in his unconscious state.

"…" A dead silence hung in the air. No one spoke or moved.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"WHY THE HELL IS EVERYONE SO QUIET?!?!?!?!?" shouted out Naruto. Everyone's heads shot up in disbelief. Gaara looked quickly to the ramen bar stool where the blonde, he thought he had crushed now sat. Naruto looked down at the ground at the sand. He blinked a few times, and then smiled.

In a flash he dumped a bucket of water on the sand. He thrust his hands in the sand and played with it. "Tadaaaaaaa…it's a sand castle." He said pointing at the large castle like structure he had created. The crowd face faltered and sweat dropped. Gaara on the other hand wasn't amused.

He destroyed the castle, bringing his sand back to it original form. "You…who are you?" asked Gaara.

Naruto sat on the ground cross legged as he held his chin. "Who are any of us in thissss great endless ramen bowl we call life?" said Naruto with his eyes closed as he nodded to himself.

Gaara's eyes narrowed as he formed his sand into a spike and sent it hurtling towards Naruto. It splintered the wood of the stand but its target was now hiding behind Gaara.

"Di-did you see THAT!?!?!" he asked Gaara pointing to the sand that had destroyed the counter of the ramen stand. Gaara's eyes were wide, not only because the blonde had somehow avoided the attack faster then any could see…but he also was touching Gaara. The chef's hand rested on the boys shoulder as he screamed about 'killer sand' and how they should run. "Seriously, this is a strange place if sand just jumps to life and tries to kill you."

The blonde continued to ramble on as Gaara deformed his sand and took a rushed step away from the boy. _"How?"_ he asked himself.

"_**Who cares kill him kill him!!!" shouted the demon in his mind.**_

Gaara nodded. The blonde was annoying and Gaara wanted him dead. However before he could attack Naruto was beside him again with his arm wrapped around his shoulder. "You look a littleee tense their." said Naruto in a slur. "Here have a drink."

Naruto stuck the bottle in Gaara's mouth and tilted it up. Gaara was so surprised and confused that he swallowed it. Gaara quickly stumbled away surprised.

He found it hard to get his footing and was now seeing three of the chef. He took a shaky step to the side. His cheeks became flushed and he had an intoxicated look on his face.

The crowd's jaws hit the floor in absolute stunned silence. Gaara the terror of there village…was drunk.

The red head called his sand to him. The sand acted like a drugged up buffalo and crashed into various objects inside the ramen stand as it tried to move forward. It's from would shake and sections would deform before reforming as it tried to maintain its shape.

Gaara hiccupped a few times and each time he did so the sand jumped. Naruto now stood beside him with a blank look and took a sip of his sake. "That's a pretty cool trick." said Naruto as he kneeled down looking at the jumping sand.

"I'mmm gooooinnnggg to to to killll yo-you-you." slurred Gaara.

Naruto looked at him and laughed. "Your sucha lighttt weight." he said with his goofy grin, before he fell back on his butt. "Only a couple sips of of…MY SAKE!!!"

Naruto now cried on the floor. "Why did I let you drink it…I only have so much." He wept in a corner formed by a couple of boxes outside the stand. He suddenly looked very angry. "It's your faulttt!!!"

Naruto tripped over his own feet as he walked up to Gaara. Gaara threw his sand at him. But it was so chaotic it hit several walls breaking a few buildings before it went towards Naruto. It fell apart before it hit him, Gaara falling back unable to keep his drunken ass balanced.

Naruto looked at the sand the now lied motionless on the ground. "Haha!!!" he cheered triumphantly. Gaara hiccupped and the sand jumped lifting Naruto off his feet. Naruto only went some two feet in the air before he did a back flip.

He landed on a nearby barrel clumsily and swung his arms frantically through the air in an attempt to stay balance. Gaara got back up and stumbled around himself. His sand danced around him in random patterns banging into things despite the fact that Gaara was not ordering it around.

"I still owe ya for drinking my sake." said Naruto as he continued to try and balance on the barrel.

Gaara hiccupped again. "You…you you madeee meeeeeee." he said stumbling closer to Naruto.

Naruto finally slipped a little and caused the barrel to turn on its side. He then ended up rolling towards Gaara as he fought to stay up. He then finally fell sending the barrel rolling towards Gaara's feet at high speeds. It tripped him and he fell over.

Naruto rolled over to him and propped himself up before lifting Gaara up by his collar. As he tried to hold him they both started stumbling and twirled around as Naruto tried to hold on to Gaara.

Finally Naruto let go sending the red head boy into a wall. Naruto stood not to far a way with a goofy grin on his face. "Ohiyoooooooo!!! You okay?" he asked as he stumbled forward.

Gaara got up looking a little pissed. He hiccupped again and some of the sand that was under Naruto jumped causing the boy to fall on his back. "Oww that was mean." he said with a pout.

Gaara tripped a little walking out from the hole he had made in the wall. He finally stopped and steadied himself. His demon was finally taking effect and purging his system of alcohol.

His vision once again became clear and he had full control of his sand. He smiled his evil way and summoned it above the blonde. It hung in the air before turning into spikes and launching at Naruto. Naruto began rolling on his back doing drunken summersaults avoiding each spike as it came down.

His eyes were swirling when he finally stood up. He shook his head and looked at Gaara. He took another swig of his sake bottle and grinned meanly.

"Ohhhh so you want want want to fight fight." said Naruto as he raised his fists in a brawler fashion. He punched the air rather sloppily and then began running towards Gaara.

Gaara sent a stream of sand his way but Naruto just pivoted on his foot avoiding it without breaking his run. Naruto threw an open palm at Gaara's chest. Gaara just stood there expecting his sand to block it but was surprised when Naruto's foot slipped only and inch away causing the blow to miss but his body to hit.

Gaara fell flat on his back as he was improperly braced for such a thing. Naruto rolled over him and kept doing so tell he was a couple feet away. The blonde then instantly righted himself up out of his roll.

He ran at Gaara again and threw a kick towards the groin. Gaara was up and watched his sand go up to protect him. However before Naruto's foot hit the wall of waiting sand it froze. Next thing that happened Naruto's knee caught up to where his foot was frozen in air and he had kneed Gaara in the stomach.

Not only had the action been so unpredictable, it had also been lightning fast. Gaara huddled over and took a step away. His face grew an expression of anger…he had never been hit before…at least not like that where it was a solid blow and not just something colliding into him.

The demon screamed inside his head and Gaara soon found himself clutching his head madly. His body shook and contorted before sand started to go up his right side. It covered his arm, leg, and a part of his face.

Gaara panted as a tail soon formed and he snarled. Naruto blinked a couple of times then he looked at his sake bottle, then back at Gaara, then back at the sake bottle. The bottle was empty anyways so he threw it away.

"somethin must be in the sake." concluded Naruto. Gaara attacked and Naruto was on a roof. The villagers had long since left at the sight of a demonic Gaara. Gaara threw vicious blows trying to hit Naruto.

Naruto drunkenly dodged each of them doing wide motions that would confuse any opponent. They drew closer to the edge of the building; if Naruto jumped back like he had been doing he would fall off. Gaara saw this and smirked there was nowhere for the blonde to go. Gaara threw a straight punch and Naruto just simply fell on his back to avoid it. His feet remained flat on the ground and his legs were fully bent; his head was only an inch away from the edge of the building. Gaara looked down at him wide eyed, and Naruto simply crossed his arms and closed his eyes.

"You're very weird." said Naruto nodding to himself. He suddenly flipped off the building and landed on the street with little trouble. His face contained its flush which was the only sign that the boy was still drunk. Naruto looked around at how quiet it had gotten. The section of the city was abandoned; the whole city was currently being fled from. It was an order of the Kage that they abandon the village when Gaara began to change like he was. They would leave until the boy regained control then come back.

It was a good plan because Gaara never destroyed anything since he could feel no one in the village and thus their was no one to kill. However Naruto had no clue about any of this so it came as no surprise when he said.

"Mister Raccoon!!!! Where is everyone?!!!" he shouted up to Gaara. Gaara growled at the insult of being called a simple raccoon. More sand covered his body and soon he was fully consumed by it.

"I'll kill you!!!" shouted Gaara as he flew towards Naruto. Naruto looked up at his incoming form then blinked…then ran like hell.

Naruto dodged lazily as they ran through the village, his movements might have been considered clumsy and well…drunk. But it made it impossible for any of the sand attacks Gaara sent his way to hit. Not only that, but the blonde was very fast as well.

"GET BACK HERE!!!" shouted Gaara. He had cornered the blonde in a building and was now swinging his large arms wildly. Gaara knocked down wall after wall and hit various support beams. After his last attack Gaara lost sight of the blonde.

"Youwhoooo…Mister Raccoon." said Naruto. Gaara turned around and noticed him outside the building. "You may want to get out."

Gaara's eyes widened as the building finally started coming down. He ran towards the blonde but debris got in his way and soon enough the building had collapsed.

Naruto looked at the now destroyed building with an expression of aw. "Hope he's fine." he said happily.

He took a few steps away from the building before he came to a stop. He looked back and sand shot straight up out of the wreckage. It towered high in the sky, some hundred stories tall. The sand soon began to fill out and take a humungous shape.

Naruto raised one eyebrow as the sand collected into a giant form. **"Yahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!" **came a demonic piercing shout. **"Free!!!!!"**

Naruto blinked at the GIANT raccoon now towering above him. "wow." Was all he said.

The raccoon demon finally saw him and gave another shriek. He then threw a large fist Naruto's way. Naruto jumped out of the way and landed a couple hundred feet back.

The demon laughed as if enjoying what he had done. Naruto looked up at him then sat down. "What to do what to do?" he asked himself hitting his fist on his straw hat covered head.

"**Do you mock me??? I'll kill you!!!!"** shouted the beast angrily. It sucked in lot of air and puffed out its chest. It finally sent a tremendous ball of chakra infused air his way.

It exploded on the ground and the demon shouted in joy. "**Yes, yes, yes, yes!!! He's dead!!!!" **bellowed the demon. He then stopped suddenly as he felt a presence behind him.

He turned and sure enough there was Naruto sitting in the same position completely unharmed and hundreds of feet from where he had been.

"**I see…so you have speed."**

That was all Shuukaku said before it gathered its chakra. Thousands of mini spike like bars only a couple of inches thick shot at Naruto.

The blonde's eyes widened as he began dodging. It was in the same way he had done before, drunken and unpredictable.

"Thissss is fun!!!" said Naruto. Soon a sand mound appeared beside him and Naruto's eyes widened on his flushed face. It formed a large fist and slammed into him sending him rocketing back into a building.

"**My chakra is still GROWING!!!!" said the demon. "I will kill YOU!!!"**

Naruto looked around the building he was in before he sighed. He got up and walked out. He looked at the demon as Shuukaku began to run over to him. He grabbed the rim of the straw hat he was wearing and pulled it over his eyes. He gave a small but slightly sad smile.

The demon now threw his open hand straight down on the blonde. It landed with earth shattering force and sent vibrations throughout the entire village of Suna.

A silence enveloped the area and the demon smirked. But then he blinked…it was too quiet…far too quiet.

The silence was unnatural and nothing made a sound…not even…_the wind.

* * *

_

Present day, Konoha.

A red headed teen walked up to the ramen stand. His face was blank but he was feeling a bit of excitement. He entered the stand and was greeted to the sight of a man with no eyebrows burning his hand on a stove.

"Ahhh damn it!!!" he chopped it in half with a huge sword that was on his back. A girl walked up behind him and knocked him out cold with a frying pan.

"…" was Gaara's only thought. The stand was rather crowded and Gaara finally decided to draw attention to himself.

He cleared his throat and suddenly he had the entire stands attention. "Does Uzumaki Naruto reside here?" he asked politely.

A blonde chef got off from the floor from behind the counter. His hair was messed up and he had lipstick on his neck. Soon a purple haired woman got up beside him, looking similarly messed up.

"Ohiyo Gaara." said Naruto with a wide wave. "Its been a while."

The red headed boy smiled. "Yes it has." said Gaara. The rest of the people of the stand stared at the new comer curiously.

Gaara walked up and took a seat. "A bowl if you will." said Gaara.

"Yeah yeah in a minute." said Naruto as he grabbed Anko by the collar and pulled her down to the ground with him.

Gaara couldn't see them but he could hear the noise. He was suddenly very uncomfortable. He was glade to see that he wasn't alone in this as various costumers that sat at the tables looked to have similar feelings as well.

"Okay one ramen." Said Naruto suddenly by the stove. It was ready soon after. "So Gaara how's it going."

Gaara took a sip of some water that was near by and then began to eat. "Okay." said Gaara. "You?"

Naruto put his hand to his chin. "Not sure really." he said.

Teams 7 and 10 watched the two converse. "So who is he?" asked Ino to everyone. They shrugged uncertain.

"I'm sure it is of little consequence." said Hanabi. "That idiot is unlikely to know anyone that should be of interest or concern to us."

At that moment an exhausted Chuunin ran in. "Kazekage-sama!!!" he said to Gaara. "I'm sorry no one could greet you, the Hokage is ready to see you now."

Gaara finished his meal then sighed. "Very well." He turned back to Naruto. "It was great seeing you again Naruto-dono. Perhaps will catch up some time."

Naruto only shrugged and Gaara left the stand. Teams 7 and 10 as well as everyone else present stared at Naruto in disbelief.

"KAZEKAGE!!!!!" they all shouted. Naruto only shrugged and took a sip of his sake. He then went back to work.

* * *

Gaara walked away from the stand with the Chuunin leading him to the Hokage. He looked back as he heard a shout of his title.

"_Naruto-dono."

* * *

_

Flashback…Two years ago, Suna.

_Gaara laid on the ground his clothes in shreds. His sand was scattered everywhere and he had no way to control it or even summon it. His demon was quiet for once…perhaps to stunned to speak._

_Half the village was gone. Buildings were destroyed and thousands of gashes seemed to litter the land as if struck by hundreds of blades._

_He looked up at the blonde chef that stood beside his fallen form. The blonde took a sip of his sake._

"_What was that?" asked Gaara. His expression was still in shock and his eyes were wide._

_The ramen chef turned around and walked away. _

"_A whirlwind."

* * *

_

Author's notes: Well here ya go. So tell me like it hates it. It took me a while to write it because I had trouble finding humor for the beginning. However I still think that it turned out alright.

Any questions?

I'm doing a lot of things differently just so you are all aware. I hope that the flare of this fic has remained consistent in terms of its particular style.

I plan on updating when I get near 800 or something reviews. NO I AM NOT HOLDING MY STORY HOSTAGE. Its just once I see it get close I'll start working on my new chapter.

Hope you all have enjoyed this and remember. REVIEW!!!!!!


	8. Chapter 8

But he's just a ramen chef!

Authors note: Okay time for some serious explaining. First off this story is NOT abandoned. Second I found the person responsible; he is a very good friend of mine and knew my password. I know how he got it but that is not something you should concern yourself with. Anyways he did it as a joke because he thought it would be funny HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA…the police have yet to find his body…

Also know that I have no intention of abandoning any of my fic's. Even Blue Moon Howling…that will get updated…sometime…

Thanks to all who reviewed with concern, and let me tell you I was SHOCKED at a lot of the nice things people said. Thanks.

To A-man: I would like to apologize to you. You made a good point in your review and I do feel a little ashamed. Please don't let that one little comment inside my authors notes affect how you enjoy this fic or my writing. I'm saying this because in reality I was holding my story hostage regardless if I didn't mean to.

However one thing that I found about this whole situation that was hysterical is this. In my Authors note for chapter 7 I said that I wasn't holding this story Hostage for reviews, everyone else said I was. Then wouldn't you know it my story is quiet literally taken HOSTAGE.

Anyway here you go.

Chapter 8

* * *

The scene was dark and only the flashing red light of the answering machine penetrated the darkness of the apartment. Anko lazily pressed the button to play the message and listened for the familiar mechanical voice to appear.

"_You have one new message." said the robotic recording, a beeping sound was heard soon after this._

"_Lisseten you littleeeee whorree I want you gone, YOU HEAR MEEEE!!!"_ the voice was of a male stranger who was obviously drunk. Anko was positive she didn't know him personally. She never knew any of these people personally. The man soon continued_. "Alright you little snake slut….unless you want to make it worth my wild and su-"_

Anko cut the message off there and hit the delete button._ "Message deleted." said the robotic recording. _

Anko's face was unreadable and despite how dark the room already was; her face seemed to go in an even darker shadow. She trudged towards her bathroom and undressed. She started a hot shower for herself and stared up at the faucet as the water hit her face. She showed no signs of acknowledging it.

She stepped outside the shower once she was done. As she began to dry off she heard the phone ring. Anko exited the bathroom at a slower then normal pace and walked towards her bed. She was currently wiping the towel through her hair, and the phone was still ringing on the hook.

She flopped on her bed and the phone finally stopped ringing. The machine picked up and she heard the recording she herself had made that was soon followed by a beep sound.

"_Anko…its me Kurenai." Said the machine. "Are you there? Listen I want to talk to you. Call me back when you get the chance…bye."_

Anko was currently staring at the machine as the red light blinked on again. She buried her head in her pillow and went to sleep ignoring what she had just heard.

* * *

The ramen stand was normal as it could be. Team 7 and 10 were both present and eating ramen peacefully. Ayame was hitting Zabuza over the head once again with her now overly dented frying pan. Tsunami and Inari were washing dishes trying to ignore Tazuna's comments of how it was only a matter of time before his beautiful daughter was raped. Haku was in the corner in the fetal position due to the latest comment about his sexuality. Yep just a normal day…well except for the normally cheerful blond chef.

Naruto had his head down on the counter of the ramen stand. A bottle of sake was by his head and comedic tears were currently running down his face. "anko-chan." he mumbled.

"Hey Sakura…what's Naruto's problem?" asked Ino staring at the chef in confusion.

"He heard Anko went on a mission and wouldn't be back for sometime." said Sakura.

"Hello everyone." said Kurenai walking in the stand. Her team actually following not to far behind. Naruto was by her in a blink.

"Kurenai-chan is Anko-chan back yet?" questioned Naruto excited. Kurenai only shook her head and Naruto was lying in the corner of the restaurant, not that far from Haku, depressed.

Kurenai only sweatdropped at this. "She's only been gone for a week Naruto." Said Kurenai. "She's not expected back for a month or so."

Naruto began to cry. "Nooo!!!" he said pouring more of the liquid in his saucer, before gulping it down.

Kurenai sighed and took a napkin from the stand. She then proceeded to write something down on it before she handed it over to the down chef. "Here." she said.

Naruto looked up at the napkin being handed to him and raised a curious eyebrow. "It's her phone number…maybe she'll get back early and you'll know right away." said Kurenai. She knew that Anko still wouldn't be back for sometime, however she just wanted the chef to shut up about it.

"Wow thanks Kurenai-chan!!!" shouted Naruto. He snuck behind her and snaked his arm around her waist. "If their's anything I can do…just let me know." said Naruto in a husky voice.

A small tinge of red came to Kurenai's face. _"he's…he's so much like Anko its scary."_ thought Kurenai.

* * *

Shikamaru watched the chef silently, observing his behavior._ "Just who are you Uzumaki Naruto."_

Shikamaru had been noticing things about the boy for some time now. He was the only one that heard what the Kazekage had called him_ "Naruto-dono."_

He was probably the only one paying attention at the time…but he knew the Jounin's heard this as well. What really peaked his curiosity though was that the fact the Jounin showed such little reaction to it. This led him to believe that there was something to the chef…and the Jounin's knew what it was.

It started with subtle things that people would think less of. Like how he moved in the kitchen. It could be explained by the fact that he was a great chef, but there was still a deep sense of power. His speed seemed like it was created from and applied in more then just the kitchen.

There were more things to but none of them could really be considered hints as to something more to the chef; only if you chose to look at them that way.

* * *

Hinata was currently in her second sensei's eating establishment. It was a nice place that spoke of high quality food…even if it was just ramen. However she was unable to focus on that as she looked at a silver haired Jounin out of the corner of her eye. He was currently reading a very special book.

"Umm…excuse me Kakashi-sensei but…is that a new volume?" she asked hesitantly and innocently. Kakashi looked up at her and blinked. He looked back at the his latest volume while secretly watching her.

"Why yes it is." he stated. Her face seemed to flash with excitement; something that confused him until he remembered that Naruto IS her second sensei.

"Hey where is Sasuke?" asked Naruto. Team 7 blinked, Sasuke had been with them a second ago. Kakashi then went back to reading his book.

"It would be best to leave him alone today." said Kakashi.

"Why sensei?" asked Sakura.

"Today is the anniversary of the Uchiha massacre." said Hanabi.

Naruto's features softened a little at hearing that.

* * *

Iwa was dirty and broken down. Poverty seeped through the windows of every home, and there was a sense of hopelessness in the air. Anko carefully treaded through the back alley's of this dieing village.

She remained calm and inconspicuous, something that many who knew her would find shocking. Her face was cold and calculating; showing little of the playfulness she usually exhibited in public.

She stopped for a moment and grabbed her neck. She let out a small sigh then looked up at the Kage Tower that Iwa possessed. _"You're here…aren't you Orochimaru."_ Thought Anko through gritted teeth.

She snuck from building to building at trained speed. No one would notice her, as she remained invisible.

She looked out to the front of the tower where two guards blocked the door. She then looked up at the various shinobi that walked the outer perimeter of the tower walls. The tower looked like some fortress…then again that is what the towers were, only this one screamed eerie and secretive.

She was about to make her move to infiltrate the tower when the doors opened. Anko felt her heart freeze as the object of her undying hatred walked out them.

Orochimaru wore a small grin on his snake like face. Giving Anko the indication that things were going his way for something. He walked unguarded into town. Anko took in a breath as she tried to hold in her temper. Her objective was to infiltrate the tower and find if the rumor that Iwa was planning anything was real.

She had been told that Orochimaru was spotted in the village that being the reason she went. However now he would get away do to the fact she still needed proof of Iwa's threat to Konoha.

She clutched her fists angrily. No, she would go after the snake bastard. After all he obviously knew something and taking the information from him would bring her great satisfaction.

So just like that her true mission was forgotten and she slowly began to stalk the man she had once called sensei.

* * *

Sasuke stood in front of a vast graveyard. In it lied all the Uchiha now gone and forgotten…this was the Uchiha graveyard.

He stood in front of two graves inpaticuler, his mothers and fathers. Hate and malice radiated off the boys body, as barely hidden fury swirled through his eyes. His fists were shaking and the image of his brother was the only thing in his mind.

"Itachi." said Sasuke, as if the name was poison. Lost were the graves in front of him, all there was, was an image of his brother. He gave a small growl before he punched at the image in front of him. All he hit was his father's grave leaving a small hole in the tombstone. Sasuke regained his senses after that as he looked down in shame at defiling his father's grave.

"You know…you really have an anger problem." stated a voice beside him. Sasuke turned his head a lightning speed to the form of Naruto. The fifteen year old chef leaned against a conveniently placed tree next to his parent's graves.

The chef had a calm look on his face. He sipped the sake from his saucer in a more dignified manner as opposed to chugging it down like he normally did.

"What are you doing here Naruto?" said Sasuke with barely concealed contempt. Sasuke already had a good idea as to the answer to his question. Sakura had told him Naruto was the one to help her focus. He had seen Hanabi change seemingly over night after spending time with Naruto. The Uchiha was certain Naruto had done this with various other people that he was not even aware of. Point being, Naruto was there to talk with him.

Naruto calmly sipped some more of his sake. "You want some?" asked Naruto as he held out the sake bottle.

Sasuke blinked at the offer. "I'm underage."

Naruto gave a small laugh. "That never stopped me…and besides." said Naruto pausing for a moment. "Today no one would blame you."

"Alcohol is a crutch." stated Sasuke looking at the chef trying to find some hidden motive.

"That's good…because today I think you have a broken leg." said Naruto giving Sasuke a goofy grin.

Naruto threw Sasuke the bottle and the Uchiha caught it. "This won't stop my pain." said Sasuke. He looked down and his bangs shadowed his eyes.

"I never said it would…a crutch by nature doesn't heal the pain…it only supports you until you can walk on your own." said Naruto.

"You never answered my question…why you are here." said Sasuke. "Is it because you want to help me?" Sasuke's body began to shake with anger. "Are you here to preach to me like so many others?"

Sasuke looked back up at the chef. The fury in his eyes was renewed and he looked like he wanted to fight. Naruto calmly took another sip of his sake, not looking up at the boy.

"Are you going to tell me like so many others to give up revenge!? That its not worth it and it is stupid!!?" Sasuke threw down the sake bottle in his hands shattering it on the ground. "I will kill him and anyone who stands in my way!!!! Revenge isn't stupid, I need it… and I will have it."

Naruto's straw hat covered his eyes. He bent down to the shards of the broken sake bottle. "What a waste of good sake." said Naruto in a quiet calm voice. Sasuke grew more angry and grabbed the chef by the collar and brought him up eye to eye.

"Don't ignore me!!!" said Sasuke. "You don't understand at all do you…I still don't know what you want but I will have my revenge."

Naruto released himself from Sasuke's grip with relative ease. "Good." was all Naruto said. "Everyone is entitled to revenge…and you are more then deserving to have it."

Sasuke backed up for a second a little surprised. "Hate, pain, sadness." Said Naruto. "Everyone feels them and everyone has the right to make them stop. There is nothing wrong with pursuing a way to ease your suffering."

Sasuke looked at the chef…was the boy actually agreeing with him? What was his motive? No one had ever agreed with his idea of gaining revenge. They all said it wasn't worth it…that it didn't matter and it wouldn't solve anything. But was Naruto actually encouraging him.

Naruto put his hand on Sasuke's shoulder, his hat once again covering his eyes. "Kill him, and find your peace…but never forget that your goal is to kill Itachi…only his death would be in the sake of revenge."

Sasuke looked at Naruto confused. "Of coarse…I know that. He is the one I want to kill." said Sasuke.

Naruto tilted his head towards Sasuke a little. "You say that, but earlier you said you would kill him and anyone who stood in your way."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed seeing what the chef was trying to say. Perhaps it was all a trick just so he would see that he would hurt others on his path of revenge. He had known that for the longest time and he didn't care. Naruto didn't understand at all.

"Itachi is the one who wronged you…so why kill anyone else?" asked Naruto.

Sasuke grew colder. "Because they would stand in the way of my goal." stated Sasuke. Naruto gave a smile and Sasuke lost a lot of confidence in his statement.

"A wall stands in your way…you can go through it or around it. Going through it is quicker, but it hurts you to do so." said Naruto. "Going around that wall is far less painful, and you still arrive at the same goal."

With that Naruto left Sasuke alone to himself. The raven haired boy noticed that a new sake bottle had been left for him on the ground. He looked at it for a while before finally sitting down next to it in front of his parent's graves.

He held it up to the Uchiha tombstones. "Cheers…"

* * *

Anko stalked in the shadows of her former sensei. Orochimaru seemed to not notice her presence as he headed to the gate to leave. His body language told her that he was off guard and unprepared for a surprise attack.

She waited longer and he reached the gate, there were no guards. He stepped out of the village walls and she continued to follow him. His pace became quicker as he hopped into the mountain forest that Iwa was famous for. She followed him all the while not once losing sight of him.

Orochimaru came to a sudden stop at a clearing and Anko thought it was strange. She hid behind a large tree and watched him intently. Her gaze never left his form, until she felt the crippling pain of her seal.

It had come so suddenly that she nearly shouted in pain. She fell to one knee clutching her neck in a desperate attempt to some how make the pain lessen. She looked back at him, not thinking straight do to the pain. She attacked him at full speed with all she had in order to make the pain stop.

Her kunai that she had drawn to hand went through his body. A flicker of joy went through her, but it erased as the body she had hit melted into mud. She felt a pair of hands snake around her waist. A breath caught in her throat as Orochimaru brought his mouth to her ear.

"My, my Anko-chan…you sure have grown." he said in a smooth evil voice that sent a shiver down her spine. She heard him take a sniff of her hair. She reacted and tried to bring the kunai in her hand back at him. But he grabbed her arm and over powered her.

She felt his tongue touch the seal on her neck. "You are definitely more beautiful then when I left." he said. She struggled to get out of his hold and she felt her seal prickle. "But still so weak and useless."

She found herself pinned against a tree, as he held her against it with one hand on her throat. She was choking a paralyzed from moving. He seemed to take great pleasure as she choked out sobs.

Tears were pooling in her eyes. He smiled at her as she continued to suffer. Her lowered her against the tree a placed his lips against hers for a moment. More tears shot forward as she nearly shouted in discuss. He let her go and she slid down the trunk of the tree suddenly out of energy.

"Goodbye my dear Anko-chan." said Orochimaru with a sick sense of glee in his voice. He vanished in a blink and Anko was forced again to deal with the torment of failing and feeling him torture her broken spirit.

She brought her hand up to her neck and clutched the seal. "Orochimaru." His laughter echoed in her head. His touch lingered on her body.

She clutched the seal even tighter digging her nails into her own flesh. "Orochimaru." She repeated. Blood dripped over her fingers and seal as she clawed at it. She burst into tears not long after, crying.

* * *

"Naruto-kun she's not back yet." said Ayame.

Naruto was by the store phone making a call. "But Ayaaaammmmmmeeeeehehehehehehe.

Ayame's eyebrow twitched and then she sighed. "Whatever." she said.

"You're going to have to wait Naruto." said Kurenai. "Its only been a little over two weeks."

"ONLY!!!" shouted Naruto as tears went down his face. He went to a corner and began to sulk.

"Its okay Naruto." said Haku as he began to pat the boy on the back. "You'll be fine…is there anything I can do to cheer you up?"

Naruto looked at him wide eyed. "You know…just because Anko isn't here doesn't mean I've turned to men." Naruto deadpanned.

Haku's went ghostly white and his eyes twitched. He stayed like that long after Naruto got up and left. "I'm…not…gay." he said as he continued to twitch.

"You know Naruto-kun you need to be nicer to Haku-chan." said Ayame. "It's not his fault."

As Haku heard this, his body only twitched more and the tiny corner Naruto had previously been sulking in now belonged to him.

"Another bowl." said Kakashi not looking up from his book. Naruto nodded at him and went over to his workplace. Both Tsunami and Inari stopped and watched him from the sink. Inari actually moved over to the counter to sit and watch.

Naruto did like he always did, moving precise and accurate. Inari's eyes were wide with fascination at the skill. He really wanted to be able to do the things Naruto did.

"Do you see." Inari looked up from where he was sitting and saw Shikamaru talking with one of the students from Team 8.

"I do see speed and skill that technically go beyond just a kitchen but…" said the boy that Shikamaru was talking to. "I still don't think much of it."

Shikamaru sighed and leaned his head on his hand. "So troublesome." said Shikamaru. "It's not really a big deal I just don't like not knowing about things."

The boy from Team 8 nodded. "My bugs say that he does have the scent of power…however it is very small…or perhaps well hidden." said the boy.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Well lets drop it anyway…I don't think I care that much anymore Shino…its all to troublesome." said the Nara as he laid his head on the table and quickly fell asleep.

Team 8 had recently begun making regular visits to the ramen stand. Kurenai finally had reasoned that it was a good idea for all the rookies to stay in touch and what better way then having the same meeting spot.

Hinata knew Naruto pretty well, and Shino was just stoic to everything, but Kiba had been absolutely shocked at the boy. Naruto had more then on one occasion insulted him calling him things like 'dog breath' or 'weak puppy'. After all that Kiba treated Naruto like he was the devil.

Naruto gave Akumaru some of the beef from the ramen and petted him on the head as he ate it all up. "TRAITOR!!!" shouted Kiba.

"Ah shut it dog breath." said Naruto taking a swig of sake. He had nothing against the boy; he just found it very entertaining to make fun of him.

"Why you lousy chef!!!" shouted Kiba.

"Lousy?" said Naruto. "Even Midget-san over hear likes my cooking."

Hanabi's brow twitched. "I find it to be sub par, but still contain a refreshing taste that I don't usually eat at the Hyuuga Estate."

"Haha, your sub par." said Kiba mockingly.

"I doubt a mutt like you even knows what that means." said Naruto. Kiba growled angrily.

"Alright pal you and me right now." said Kiba putting his elbow on the counter. "We're going to arm wrestle and I'll show you who the mutt is!!!"

Question marks floated in the air as everyone thought the same thing. _"What does arm wrestling have to do with any of this?"_

Naruto took a giant swig of his sake and his face became increasingly flushed. It was probably because of this he accepted the challenge.

Naruto pulled up a chair on the other side of the counter and put his elbow on the table. He grasped Kiba's hand and was ready. He sat in a lazy position with his body sitting loosely in his seat. He only appeared to be paying minor attention as he drank his sake with his free hand.

Kiba grew even angrier as he had his free hand braced on the counter for extra leverage. "Ready…set…GO-

As Kiba finished his entire body was thrown to the ground. The wood of the counter shattered as Naruto slammed Kibas hand into the counter taking the boy with it.

Everyone went wide eye at the display. They all stared curiously at Naruto who was currently drinking his sake. Apparently paying no mind to anything that had just happened.

They were shocked and in awe a the sight. "Damn father and buying cheap wood." said Ayame as she walked over to the two. That explanation instantly took all present out of their awe, and into a sweat drop.

There were only three people who knew otherwise, Kakashi, Asuma, and…Shikamaru.

"_That was no weak wood." _thought Shikamaru as he yawned and secretly stared at the blonde.

Naruto continued to chug his sake and when he was finished he let out a loud relaxed sigh. "That was good." He said. He got up and flexed both his arms. "I ammm strong." He said drunkenly

"_Just who are you Naruto…"_ thought Shikamaru.

Sakura and Ino looked at Kiba as his body was twitching on the floor. "You lost dog boy." They both said.

* * *

"So…Orochimaru was there." said the Hokage. He looked at the purple haired woman in front of him and winced. Her eyes were dead and her soulless, she moved as if the living dead. And had given her report in an emotionless voice, if it wasn't for the Hokage knowing the reason, he would have thought she was under the spell of a jutsu.

"That is all I have to report." said Anko coldly and dead.

"I see…you may go."

Anko walked down the street at an almost entranced state. Glares were thrown her way and hurtful whisperings were spoken.

"snake slut." She heard one say. She felt there hate and disgust as they looked at her. She felt like she wasn't even human…just some sort of disgusting animal for them to glare at.

She felt cold as the glares intensified. She would have cried, but didn't want to give them the satisfaction.

She soon came to the steps that led to her apartment. She walked up them at a snails pace, not caring or even focused on what she was doing. Her eyes seemed to have a white wisp to them, making her look even more broken. Her body ached and a shiver went down her spine at remembering his touch.

It disgusted her…and made her remember his words.

"_But still so weak and useless."_

She stopped at her front door. It had various profanities written on it. She grabbed her key and unlocked the door, walking into the darkness that laid inside.

It was hard to see but she new the layout and didn't stop her movement. She undressed in the hall scattering her clothes about uncaring where they landed. The small apartment was so cold and dark, and she felt it as she went into the bathroom.

She started a warm shower, but even as the warm water hit her form she felt cold and dirty. His touch still lingered and she grasped her seal with disgust. She washed herself as hard as she could, as if to wipe the taint away.

It did little to help her though as she hugged herself. Small tears overtook her eyes as she thought about the joke that was her life.

She exited the bathroom drying off, trying not to breakdown further. She put on a robe and sat on her bed. She put her hands over her eyes and began to sob again.

"_Orochimaru."_

She thought as his image entered her mind. Her body began to shake with fear, fury, and cold. She felt so cold and didn't know why.

She got up and checked the thermostat and read the even 75 degrees in her apartment. She shivered some more which caused her to question the machine.

She paced about her room, body going numb with each step she took. _"Why am I so cold?"_ she asked herself.

She was becoming colder and it hurt. Everything hurt her, her sensei, her village, she was even doubting Kurenai cared. Silent tears crept forward, her loud ones already screamed out.

She clutched her head not in pain, but in trying to grasp the situation that had become her life.

Thoughts entered her head, thoughts spoken with **_his_** voice. She began to pace faster questioning herself. She wanted it all to stop so bad.

She took a shaky breath; even though she couldn't see her breath she felt cold enough to imagine it. She began to shiver again wanting it all to stop.

Her line of vision was blackening and soon her sight tunneled in on one object…a kunai. It was a random one she owned that was in a random spot near her bed. **_His_** voice echoed in her head as it urged her to take it.

She stumbled over to it with shaky legs. Her skin felt icy to her own touch and she was having trouble feeling her own presence. She brought a shaky hand closer to the kunai. The cold steel would be much like her growing colder skin. Her hand was only a couple of inches away from it now.

In the darkness of her apartment there was only one source of light. Anko froze at the sight of the blinking red light of the answering machine. She drew away from the kuani._ "Its Kurenai…I know its Kurenai." _Thought Anko happily as a small half insane smile came to her face as she clung pathetically to that last bit of hope. She put both her hands on her head. _"It has to be her…it is her, Kurenai cares!!!"_ she thought hysterically as she shook her head back and forth.

"**_Its not her."_** said **_His _**voice. **_"It's them…like it always is."_**

Anko covered her mouth from a sob that nearly came out. _"It's her…please."_

"_**It's the one message from one of the villagers…don't bother with it, you'll only end up hurt."**_

Anko shivered some more feeling even colder. She looked back at the kunai and brought her hand to it. She grasped the cold steel barely feeling its chill on her numb hands.

She brought the kunai up her neck and held it in a stabbing position. Her eyes wondered to the machine and its blinking light. She lowered the kunai_. "Please."_ she thought as streams of tears went down her face.

She walked over to the machine.**_ "You're only setting yourself up…its going to be one of them."_** said **_His_** voice in sick amusement.

She pressed the button…

"_You have…five…...hundred new messages." said the robotic voice._

Anko dropped the kunai eyes wide in surprise.**_ "It's just all the villagers."_** said **_His_** voice, yet for some reason Anko found it hard to hear it.

_-beep-_

"_Anko-CHAAANNNNNNNNNN where are youuuuuuuuu!!!!??!?!?!?!???" wailed the voice of Naruto as he wined. "I misssssss youuuuuu!!!!"_

_-beep-_

"_Anko are you there now???" said Naruto's voice. There was a sigh. "I'll find you."_

_-beep-_

"_Guess who???" said Naruto's voice. "Its-Kakashi this is not stupid…" there was pause and the sound of someone clearing their throat. "Its me the wonderful stud of a chef UZUMAKI NARUTO…I want to go play around the village with you…maybe we can show more kids how to freak out there parents, wouldn't that be great."_

_-beep-_

"_You're hiding from me aren't you.." sobbed Naruto on the machine. "What ever I did I'm sorry…was it what I did with my tongue the last time we 'played'…I won't do it again I swear."_

_-beep-_

"_Hey Anko its me Kurenai, thought I shoud-"_

"_KURENAI ARE YOU TALKING TO ANKO-CHAN!!!" shouted the voice of the chef in the background interrupting Kurenai. "Hi Anko-chan are you back!!!! It's me Naru-chan!!!!"_

"_Naruto she's not back yet." said Kurenai on the machine. _

"_Awwwwwwwwww." The sound of footsteps walking away disappointed could be heard. _

_-beep-_

Anko was on her knees with her hand over her mouth as she balled with tears of joy and disbelief. They streamed beautifully down her face as she listened to message after message come up on the machine.

_-beep-_

"_Hey Anko this is Ayame from the ramen stand." said Ayame on the machine. "Naruto wanted me to call you."_

"_DON'T SAY THAT!!!" shouted Naruto in the background. "I THINK SHE IS AVOIDING ME!!!"_

"_Yeah well…um this is on a personal note but please do come back soon." said Ayame sincerely. "Naruto-kun misses you and as weird as it sounds…it doesn't feel the same without your energy here."_

_-beep-_

"_Hey Anko its Kurenai again…uhh call me soon…god I swear Naruto is rubbing off on me because now I can't wait for you to get back." said Kurenai in a playful voice. "I'm a little worried but I'm sure your fine."_

_-beep-_

"_Anko…we miss you so COME BACK TO ICHIRAKU'S RAMEN SOOOOON!!!!" shouted Naruto and surprisingly a few people in the background as well._

_-beep-_

Anko stayed on her knees with the happiest tears she ever thought possible streaming down her face. And the cold chill that had been with her since Iwa…since before even Iwa, was now gone.

Anko didn't feel cold anymore…

* * *

Authors note: Sappy ending…yes most likely but I couldn't help it. I hope I presented it well and that you all felt what I did when reading it. I tried really hard on it so hopefully it was enjoyable.

Chuunin exams are coming up so most likely more action soon. I hope thus far the character development was believable. In order to do it right pretty much each chapter has to be dedicated to one or two characters. That means that you may lose sight of some, like Inari, Tsunami, Sakura, Kiba, etc. Their time will come soon I promise.

The philosophies that you heard in the talk with Sasuke, were completely made up by me. If they didn't make since to some of you or were just plain stupid I apologize. I thought they were rather creative and they made since to me so…yeah… whatever just ignore them if you have a problem.

Now as I said my account was not hacked but one of my friends did it as a joke. No harm was really done and everything is alright I hope.

Sorry about being a review monger I was greedy and I apologize to you all. Sorry about not getting this chapter out sooner as well. Hope it was worth the wait.

Always trying to please, and hopefully succeeding,

Viperflamer.


	9. Sakura the Prostitute

But he's just a ramen chef!

Authors note: For what I am about to write I will be considered a shameless pervert. I only hope that God/Buddha/Shiva/or whoever the heck decides where my eternal soul goes can forgive me for this.

This chapter came to me in a flash moment and I have no clue why. Personally I think it is very brilliant but very shameless.

Heaven forgive me………alright enough of this crap, it's 'M' rated for a reason, so prepare yourself.

Chapter nine: **Sakura the…prostitute?**

* * *

"Anwko-cwan!!!" shouted Naruto with his face buried deep in her cleavage.

"Naru-chan!!!!" shouted out Anko as she wrapped her arms around him and cuddled him further into her bust. Naruto brought his face out of her chest and looked up at her with tear filled eyes.

"I misssssssssssssssssssssssssssed you sooooooooooooooooooo much." said Naruto. He then took the more dominant position and leaned her down. He brought his lips to her ear and whispered. "And now that you are back…" he said in an all too seductive voice. He then proceeded to slam a large bottle of sake in front of them. "Time for Fun!!!!"

The two then began drinking and kissing in the most shameless matter. The people of the stand just seemed to ignore them, all being far to use to the pairs antics.

"Well…while those two are busy." said Kakashi, moans interrupted his train of thought. He shook his head back and forth to clear it of all perverted images. "Let's discuss the Chunnin exams."

Team 7 looked at the silver haired man with a raised eyebrow. "What do you mean sensei?" asked Sakura in a worried tone

"Each of you has demonstrated that you are strong, capable, and your progress is simply astounding." said Kakashi his eye going up in a 'U'. "I feel that it is time for you to try and rise through the ranks."

Sasuke gave a small confident smirk, Hanabi's face remained as stoic as ever, and Sakura…Sakura looked absolutely horrified. _"Calm down…calm down…Kakashi wouldn't allow us to take the exam if he didn't think we were ready."_

"**_Damn right he wouldn't!!!!" _**shouted inner Sakura.

Despite her inner self's motivation she found her body silently trembling. Sakura looked down, ashamed at her cowardice. She looked at both her team mates, who seemed calm and collective. She then turned her eyes to her sensei and found he was now ignoring everyone around him with his head in his perverted book.

Her gaze then went to Naruto. _"NARUTO!"_ she all but shouted in her mind. _"He'll know what to do."_

"**_Yeah, he got you to focus last time."_** said inner Sakura with a disinterested wave; she was currently reading the same book as Kakashi and giving the same perverted giggle.

Sakura blushed in embarrassment at her _dirty_ inner self. She let out a sigh to bring herself back under control. Inner Sakura continued to giggle perversely and Sakura felt her face continue to heat up. She ordered another bowl of ramen to keep her mind off what 'Sakura' was doing.

Her teammates however, had long finished their food and found no further reason to stay. They left the stand, most likely to go off and train for the Chuunin exams, and were soon followed by Kakashi.

"Uh…Naruto." she said turning in her seat only to discover he wasn't there. Her eyes went wide. "Ayame, where is Naruto?"

Ayame turned from her work and looked over at the pink haired girl. "Uhh…I think he said something about going out with Anko."

Sakura was out of her seat and out the door in a flash. Ayame stood there and blinked. "You…you need to pay." she said to herself.

Sakura ran at a speed that could only be described as panicked. "Where is he, where is he, where is he!!!" she chanted as she ran.

* * *

Naruto sat on a bench with Anko beside him. "Alright…what about himm?" slurred Naruto pointing to a man passing by. 

"Gay." said Anko almost instantly.

"Him?"

"Gay."

"Well what about her?"

"Yeah, she's definitely gay." said Anko with a grin.

Naruto scratched the top of his head. "Huh, never would have thought Haku would have this much company."

* * *

Back at the ramen stand Haku fell to his knees and began to cry in a corner.

* * *

Naruto looked around and his gaze eventually wondered to a fast approaching pink haired girl. "Okay, what about Sakura?" asked Naruto pointing at the fast approaching female. 

"Hmmm, hard to say." said Anko as she closed her eyes and put her hand to her chin in the thinking pose. "Well on the surface she appears straight, what with that whole crush on the Uchiha and all, but from what I've seen of her and that blond friend of hers…I would say she is most definitely gay!"

Anko said this while gently slamming her fist into the palm of her hand. She wore a smile that would make it difficult to determine whether she was serious or joking. However that smile did not appear to confuse Naruto as he instantly responded.

"THAT'S AMAZING ANKO-CHAN!!!!! How do you know?"

"INSTINCT!!!" shouted Anko. She grabbed the sake bottle from his hand and gulped some down. A flush came to her face, and she gave a happy sigh of relief.

During this time, Sakura had successfully made it to Naruto. She was currently panting heavily and had her hands on her knees. "N-na-naruto." She managed in between pants. "I n-need to ta-talk to y-you." Sakura took in a deep breath and stopped panting.

"SAKURA-CHAN!!!!" shouted Naruto. "What a coincidence, we were just talking about you!"

Naruto gave a hiccup, both he and Anko quite clearly drunk. "Naruto, I need your help." said Sakura._ "I hope he's in the right state of mind for this."_

"**_Tch, like it matters. I'm pretty sure he was drunk the last time he helped us."_** said Inner Sakura.

"_That's true…"_

"Whatttt do you need help withhhhh?" asked Naruto with a smile.

"Well uh…" Sakura's gaze went to Anko. The young pink haired shinobi shuffled on her feet nervously. Naruto seemed to sense what Sakura was thinking.

"You can say it in front of Anko-channnn!!!" said Naruto wrapping his arm over Anko's shoulder. Anko did the same and they both put their cheeks together and stared at Sakura. Goofy and mischievous grins were plastered on the two's faces.

"Well…you see." Sakura thought carefully about what to say. "I need some advice."

"Noooo problem I got loads of advice!!!" said Naruto swinging his hands in the air to show his enthusiasm.

"Meeeeeeeee tooooooo!" sang Anko.

"Wear clothing that shows your figure." said Naruto.

"Alwaysss strut what youuu got." said Anko.

"Get tested regularly!"

"To get the best response sslowly slide yourrr tongue over the tip of hisss-"

"ENOUGH!!!" shouted Sakura blushing furiously. "I need advice about the Chuunin exams."

"Ohhhhhhhh." said both Naruto and Anko in unison. "Why didn't you say so?"

Sakura's eyebrow twitched as he said that, then she finally just let out a sigh. Her expression turned to a sad one for a moment. "I…I'm worried I'm not ready…" she said in almost a whisper.

"hmmm." said Naruto.

"hmmm." said Anko.

They then looked over at Sakura and a bright mischievous flash went through their eyes. Sakura suddenly became very nervous, and took a step back.

Naruto and Anko each put a hand on one of her shoulders. "W-wait, wh-what are you…"

Sakura was dragged off at lightning speed. Both Anko and Naruto gave off evil laughs as they carried the unsuspecting girl to her fate.

* * *

Some time during her 'kidnapping' a blind fold had been placed over her eyes. Sakura had felt her clothes all but being ripped off and something new and far less 'conventional' was placed over her. 

The blindfold had been pulled off her eyes and Sakura blinked. Her head swung left to right trying to figure out where she was. Naruto and Anko were no where in sight, and Sakura felt a deep chill as a breeze swept by.

"Why is it so col-" Sakura looked down at her clothing and nearly screamed. Her 'clothing', if it could even be called that, consisted of a black lingerie bra with a loose fishnet top over it. Her bust was all but exploding forward as the bra seemed to flatter her chest in such a way that it appeared bigger. She wore a black mini skirt that was so short the bottom of her heart shaped butt was exposed. She didn't even need to look to know she wasn't wearing any underwear.

Sakura paled considerably at her situation. She looked in her hand, finally noticing a note taped to it. Sakura quickly read it.

_Dear Sakura,_

_You are currently in Konoha's Red Light District. In order to prove that you are ready for the Chuunin exams, both I and Anko have decided that you are to perform the less glamorous aspect of being a kounichi…simply put you are now a prostitute._

_Isn't that great!!!_

_Successfully seduce one person of your choice. If you are unable to or get scared and run away, then you might as well quit being a kounichi. Regardless of what you may think, this is actually something that may be asked of you in the future._

_Soooooooooo Good Luck, _

_Uzumaki Naruto Worlds Greatest Ramen Chef!_

Sakura wasn't sure what she should be more shocked by. The fact that she had just been told to find a man and have sex with him, or that Naruto was successfully able to write such an eligible letter while drunk.

"_I can't do this!!!!!" _Sakura shouted in her mind. Her surprise and disbelieve were scattered throughout her mind.

"**_Yes you can, you've studied!!!"_** shouted Inner Sakura shoving a book of Icha Icha Paradise forward. **_"I believe in you."_**

"_I don't care I don't want to lose my virginity like THIS!"_

"**_Oh don't be such a baby, and besides the letter just said to seduce some one, it never said anything about having sex."_** said inner Sakura.

"_But it said I'm now a prostitute, doesn't that imply that I am supposed to have sex with someone."_ thought Sakura.

"_**Details, details, it almost sounds like you want to do this."**_

Sakura blushed brightly. This drew the attention of several men. "Hey baby." said a man from behind her. He placed his arm over her shoulders and almost hung off her. His face had a hint of flush running through it. The man was under some of the influence. "How's about we go and…"

His hand cupped her breast and it sent a shiver down Sakura's spine. Sakura was in a state of silent fear and confusion. She didn't speak, but her legs…they moved. Her mind was blank at how she should react, but her body followed him. He led her through the Red Light District to a hotel.

Sakura was sweating, she had become aware of the fact that she was following this man, she was also aware of the way he was holding her. His hand was rubbing on the small of her back, causing a wave of sickness to pass through Sakura. She didn't like his touch.

She slowly regained herself and moved a little faster so his touch on barley brushed on her. She could tell that the man was strong, if she tried to run now he would most likely stop her.

She had to get out of this, but she had no clue how. She briefly entertained the idea that this was all some sort of joke, and Naruto and Anko were going to pop out any minute.

They approached the room the man had purchased. She felt him lean down and touch her ear with his tongue. "So…how much?" he asked in a whisper.

Sakura shivered, her breath had been caught in her throat and she had been unable to speak. The thick sent of alcohol made its way into her nostrils, causing Sakura to nearly gag. The man apparently was far more intoxicated then he let on.

She noted the eagerness in his eyes as well as the blind lust. He would have no qualms raping her if she said "no" to him.

His hand sluggishly went to the doorknob, his grip slipped a few times. Sakura briefly wondered how he had managed to come this far without letting on his intoxication. He finally opened the door and, with a bit of force, pulled Sakura inside.

The pink haired fifteen year old, found herself lying on a large bed. She had landed in such a way that her body was spread out and her back was angled up so her larger chest was jetting into the air.

The man clumsily fell on her and Sakura lost most of her breath from the impact. His hand moved sloppily under the fishnet and he brought his mouth to her neck. Every action he made disgusted Sakura even more as she shivered.

"**_WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!!"_** shouted inner Sakura.

"_I…I…I don't know, didn't you want me to do this?"_ even in her head Sakura's own voice sounded weak and confused.

"**_Are you kidding me?! What you're doing right now is disgusting!!!"_** Inner Sakura was fuming.**_ "Stop right now!"_**

"_B-but Naruto said-"_

"_**F--- Naruto! Your only fifteen, and God knows that on real mission the target would be dead by now!"**_

The man licked her neck, and in that moment all logic and sense returned to Sakura. What was she doing? What was she even thinking? Power and fury burned in Sakura's eyes as she pushed the man off her.

He stumbled on his feet. "Hey!!! What are you doing bit-"

Sakura cocked her fist back and slammed it into his face. The man went soaring through the air, and crashed through the door of the room. His face was a bloody mess and he was clearly unconscious.

"CONGRADULATIONS!!!!"

Sakura turned around at break neck speed her eyes wide. Naruto and Anko flung themselves out of a closet they had been hiding in. Confetti, balloon's, and a banner came with them. The banner saying 'You Did It!!!'.

Sakura's face was confused and even a little disbelieving. "Huuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh????????!" was all she managed with her eyebrow twitching.

"Congrats Sakura, you passed and this should prove that you are more the qualified to handle the Chuunin exams." said Naruto. His face was flushed and his grin was bright, Anko mirrored his expression perfectly.

"This…this…this was all a set up?" said Sakura disbelievingly.

"Well sorta…all we did was follow you." said the pair in unison.

"Then was he in on this to?" asked Sakura pointing to the unconscious man that had been about to do unspeakable things to her.

"Nope!" said Naruto and Anko happily. Sakura slammed her fist on the tops of their heads sending them to the ground.

"What do you mean 'Nope' I COULD HAVE BEEN RAPED!!!!!" shouted Sakura.

"Relax, relax, Anko here would have stopped it if it got to out of hand…and besides wait till you hear this." said Naruto. "The man you knocked out with a single punch was a special Jounin, his name is Ebisu. Now there is no way you can say you're not ready for the Chuunin exams.

Sakura's mouth hung wide open as she looked at the grinning duo. "That…that logic makes no sense." said Sakura in confusion as well as anger. "One, he wasn't expecting it, and Two, he was drunk; there is no way I could have beaten him if this hadn't been the case…THIS DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING!!!"

Naruto's cheery features instantly took on a soft, but serious look. "So?" he said. This surprised Sakura out of her thoughts, even Anko gazed at him curiously, not that she let it show. "A win is a win, and a loss is a loss. It doesn't matter if that Jounin is stronger or not, because the fact is that if this was a combat situation he would be dead and you would be alive."

Sakura looked at him with wide eyes. He spoke with an air of confidence, the same calm seriousness that had led her to taking his advice the first time. However this time his words seemed more sadden. They had an edge of experience to them, and Sakura found her eyebrow being raised.

"Sakura, strength isn't everything…this is one of the things the Chuunin exam will teach you. If you exploit your opponents weaknesses, wear them down, or even cause them confusion you can win." said Naruto. "Its not the strongest or the most skilled, but the person that comes out on top without having to use the most force."

"But I…I don't want to be weak." said Sakura.

"Then don't be, train even more." said Naruto with an honest smile. "But unless you can get super charged by tomorrow, use this type of thinking to compete."

Sakura found herself nodding unconsciously. The blonde's manner of speaking held such an air of grace and knowledge that Sakura couldn't help herself.

The goofy grin came on Naruto's face. "Alright then good luck." said Naruto shoving Sakura out of the room, Anko and him followed soon afterward.

* * *

Both he and his purple haired companion walked away from Sakura and went towards Anko's apartment. The woman in question looked at her friend with a curious gaze. Naruto seemed to notice this. 

"What is it Anko-chan?!!" he asked with his usually playfulness.

"Naruto." Anko said this in a serious voice. Naruto noticed this and frowned a little. "How…how do you know so much about the Shinobi life."

Naruto's frown deepened and Anko felt a pang enter her heart. He brought his hand up to his straw hat and pulled it over his eyes.

"I'm going home." He said in an almost cold voice and Anko felt herself stop in shock. He went in a different direction, most likely towards his home. Anko watched his retreating form.

The air around him seemed to be much darker and gloomier as he left. Anko for the life of her, wished she had not said anything.

* * *

Naruto slammed the door to his apartment. He went towards his counter and grabbed another bottle of sake. He chugged it down and slammed the bottle on the counter, shattering it. Blood slipped from his hand as the glass cut his skin. 

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry….I'm sorry…"

* * *

Authors note: Okay here I go. 

First up: I don't condone prostitution or rape in any sort of way. This was written out of comedy and nothing else. It's 'M' rated so I'm sure it was no big deal.

Next: This chapter was just sort of filler in a way, the real action and story will come with the next series of chapters. The Chuunin exam is going to be the real place where the progress of this story is going to develop.

Finally: As you all know I am a guy, and for that simple fact I like Yuri. Because of this I am actually considering pairing Sakura with Ino. This would happen much later in the story and is only a side thing. I ask for how everyone feels about that, as I'm not sure if I should do it or not. If your a Yoai fan I ask that you not vote for the simple fact that if you say no it is hypicritical of you.

Thanks, hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	10. Chuunin Exams and a mummy

But he's just a ramen chef!

Authors note: Sorry this took so long, I'm not really writing a lot right now. I hope this chapter is up to par.

Chapter ten

* * *

It was a calm day in Konoha. The sun was out birds, were chirping, and the over all atmosphere was peace. "Konohamaru-kun..." Mogei leaned against his arm as they walked down the street. Konohamaru rubbed the back of his head and was blushing like a mad man. They had started dating not long after the little incident some month's ago. She smiled at his bashfulness and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

Konohamaru's eyes glazed over and he grinned like an idiot. Smoke seemed to rise of his face, as it turned beet red. He paid no attention to where he was going and thus bumped into someone...hard.

"Hey brat watch where you are going." said a tall Iwa-nin dressed in a large fishnet shirt. His hair was a dull gray and pulled over his eyes. Chains wrapped around his waist, in a crisscross fashion, and his forehead protector was being used as a belt. He had a scowl on his face, making his rough nature known to any passerbyer.

"So-sorry." stuttered out Konohamaru a little shaken by the nin.

"Tetsu, cut it out, your scaring the poor kid."

"You just keep causing trouble don't you."

Two girls walked up from behind the boy. One was around sixteen or fifteen. She had pitch black hair and bright green eyes. She wore standard shinobi attire and the Iwa symbol was proudly worn on her right bicep. She was curvy and well...hot. Konohamaru's jaw literally hit the floor, and an intense blush formed on his face. Mogei, simply hit him over the head for such actions.

The other girl...was young? She was short, just a little under Konohamaru's height and couldn't have been more then ten or eleven. Her brown hair was done back in a neat ponytail. She wore a hiate around her neck. She was dressed in a gray shirt, and vest. Black short shinobi pants fitted her lower half, and bandages were wrapped around her ankles. She had rather striking blue eyes.

The boy Tetsu regarded both of them. "I'm not the one causing trouble...its this kid." he said pointing to Konohamaru.

Konohamaru looked up at him with a glare. "Hey bud, I already said I was sorry, so let it go." said the young boy with a twinge of anger showing.

Tetsu began to smirk. "So...you can talk properly...I had thought you were to scared to move that tongue of yours." he said in a mocking manner. Konohamaru gave a low growl and took a step forward. Moegi grabbed his arm.

"Don't Konohamaru, lets just go."

He heard Tetsu give a low chuckle of amusement, and Konohamaru blushed a little embarrassed. "Mogei, let me go! This guys asking for it!" He took a step forward to attack, only to be hoisted up by the back of his collar. Konohamaru turned his head angrily to look at who grabbed him. His eyes met blue, and he was now staring in the face of Uzumaki Naruto.

"Naruto, Let me go!!! What do you think you are doing?!!!" shouted Konohamaru.

"Stopping you from getting your ass kicked." said Naruto bluntly. "The old man would have my head, if he knew I was around while his grandson was beaten to death."

Konohamaru stared at him with a questioning gaze.

"What?" asked Naruto.

"Naruto...are you...sober?"

Naruto dropped him on the ground rather roughly and began waving his hand dismissively. "Yes, yes, I know, miracles happen daily, and the wonders never cease...give me an hour and the norm will return." said Naruto patting the sake bottle tide to his left side.

The Iwa-nin eyed the new comer carefully. Their movements were silent and went unnoticed, as they prepared to defend themselves. Naruto looked over at them, particularly the older attractive girl. He walked over to her with a grin on his face. The group watched his steps carefully.To their surprise there was no evil intent in the air, or anything of the kind. He grabbed the girl hand, and stared deeply in her eyes.

His gaze was so intense she felt her face heat up. "May I ask the name of the girl who has caught my eye?" asked Naruto in a seductive voice. Tetsu now had a kunai in his hand and was gripping it hard, however one glare from the younger girl calmed him down.

"Its Yukia...umm...nice to meet you." The girl's face began to turn redder.

"Can you please let go of Onee-chan?" said the youngest girl there. Naruto looked over at her with an impassive face. He patted her on the head, something that surprised everyone, and smiled.

"Its a shame someone as young as you is a shinobi..." he looked back up at the two other Iwa-nin. "FEEL FREE TO COME AND SAMPLE THE WONDERS OF ICHIRAKU'S RAMEN STAND!!!"

He threw them all coupons and laughed merrily. Tetsu only glared at the blond. Naruto stopped laughing at looked at him. "Except you...I don't like you." said Naruto. Tetsu looked surprised for a moment, before Naruto started laughing again.

"I-it was nice meeting you." said Yukia. Naruto looked at her and winked. She avoided his gaze. (A/n: Yes, I'm giving Naruto, that unreal flirtatious sex appeal that every guy wished he had, so sue me. It makes the story interesting.)

The youngest of the group walked up to him. Naruto looked down and gave her a small smile. "I like you." she said.

Naruto looked a little surprised. "Uh...umm you might want to wait a couple of years..."

"Your funny." she said. The girl looked over at her teammates. "Lets go."

The Iwa group walked down the path away from Naruto and the others. Konohamaru didn't give them a second glance, in fact he looked rather pissed. Mogei looked a lot more interested though. "Why were Iwa-nin in Konoha?"

"They're here for the Chuunin exam." said Naruto stretching his upper body. Konohamaru only seemed to scowl more at that. He grabbed Mogei's arm and began to walk away.

"I could have beaten him." he said to Naruto. Naruto scuffed and Konohamaru stormed off with Mogei in toe. As the disappeared around a corner, Naruto's face hardened a little.

He turned around and looked at the retreating forms of the Iwa group. His gaze landed on the youngest of the group. His eyes began to shake with many emotions, emotions that didn't go away, even after the group was out of sight. He heavily leaned against the wooden fence, and fell on his ass. He sat there blankly for a while, before tears started to silently run down his face. His shaky hand went to his sake bottle where he then proceeded to uncork the top.

Naruto brought the lip of the bottle to his own and started drinking...hoping to feel better.

* * *

"What the hell was that about?!" asked Tetsu with an accusing look. He stared at both his teammates. 

"he was cute..." said Yukia blushing.

"He was funny." said the youngest.

Tetsu glared at them, and the temperature seemed to rise from the tension. "Don't forget why we are here...you can't go around making friends."

"We know." said the two girls in unison.

Tetsu did not seem to back off. "I don't think you do, especially you Akane...or did you forget what happens when you make friends with the-"

Tetsu was pinned to the wall and held hanging against it by some invisible force. His throat could openly be seen being crushed, and his eyes were wide with fear. His body was struggling, attempting get free.

"Akane stop please, he didn't mean to!" said Yukia in a pleading voice to the little girl beside her.

Akane's face had shifted from carefree to a dark and murderously cold exterior. Her eyes were narrowed, and held a sort of deadliness to them. Her arm was extended forward and her fist was tightly clenched. She pushed it forward and the pressure on Tetsu only seemed to intensify.

Tears were leaking out his eyes, as his face turned a dark shade of red, shifting to purple from lack of air. She unclenched her hand and his body fell to the ground. The boy began gasping for breath. His form looked exhausted and was shaking from the pressure he had just been put under.

"Akane...I'm...sorry." he said in between gasps. Akane said nothing, she snapped her fingers and Tetsu's arm snapped back in an unnatural way, breaking it. He would have screamed out in pain, had it not been for his own hand muffling his mouth.

Akane walked off without another word. Yukia came to Tetsu's side, her hands glowing green with healing chakra, as she began to set his bones back into place.

"It will take a week to heal...what were you thinking, why would you say that?" she asked with an accused but worried look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry...I was just a little peeved and didn't think straight...I thought that since we were friends..."

"She has no friends." said Yukia with sad eyes. She looked at the little girl, who had long since gotten out of hearing range. "No matter how many people would like to be one..."

* * *

Ichiraku ramen stand, a place that has stunned the culinary world with its fabulous ramen. The meal had once been something so simple, but the assistant chef at this stand has taken it to legendary status. Now the name Ichiraku is known world wide for its taste, sophistication, and over all peaceful atmosphere. 

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!" shouted the voice of a very familiar old man.

"But daddy!!" said Ayame in a pleading voice. Old man Ichiraku's face remained stony. The old man...has finally returned.

"The answer is NO!!! He can not work here." said the old man pointing to Zabuza, who at the moment was looking down with a defeated gaze.

"But why not!!!" shouted Ayame matching her fathers tone. "Give me one reason why not!!!"

The old man pulled out a rather large list, he carefully put on his reading glasses and cleared his throat. "Since he's been here he has broken eight stoves, attacked a total of twenty-eight customers a week, attracted several lawsuits, broke the front counter..."

"That last one Naruto did arm wrestling!" interjected Ayame, trying to lighten the charges stacked against Zabuza.

"...Given several people food poisoning, and frankly Ayame...he scares me." said the old man peeking over his daughter's shoulders at the 'Demon'.

"But daddy, give him some time...I promise you he will improve."

"NO...he can not stay, for heavens sakes Ayame, LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE TO YOUR MOTHERS BELOVED FRYING PAN!!!!"

The chef held up the very dented cooking instrument. Ayame blushed and was forced to look away. Evidence was being stacked against the poor former Demon of the Mist, and the situation looked very grim. However, Haku had had enough of this, and decided to act.

The feminine boy sauntered over to the chef with a pleading look in his eyes. In a voice that sounded distinctly female, he said. "Please Ichiraku-sama...don't fire Zabuza." Haku's eyes began to water up.

The old man's heart melted. "Oh...all right he can stay."

Haku put her hands together and gave a girlish squeal of delight, something the old man blushed at. Haku then walked back over to Zabuza.

The Demon said nothing, he just stared at Haku like he'd grown a second head. "You...you were very...convincing."

Comedic tears traveled down Haku's face. "I know, it scared me to." Tsunami placed an arm around Haku and gave him a tight hug.

"You were so cute out there Haku-chan." said the woman. Haku blushed a little, at the closeness of Tsunami.

Old man Ichiraku cleared his throat, catching everyones attention. "Well...even if I've decided to keep Zabuza, it doesn't change the fact that we are seriously in debt and need money quick."

At that moment Naruto ran in and threw confetti into the air. "TADA!!!!!!!!!" he shouted happily. "I have a solution to your problem-"

Everyone was currently ignoring his presence. They were not distracted even for a second from the current topic. This pissed Naruto off. He ran up to them.

"Hey hey don't ignor-"

He was slammed in the face by Ayame's frying pan. The chef's daughter didn't even look away from the group when she hit him. She spoke as if nothing had occurred. "So is there anything we can do?" she asked.

Naruto's twitching hand made its way up from the ground. "I told you that I have an ide-" Naruto was sunk deeper into the concrete as Ayame pummeled him again and again with the frying pan.

"Naruto this is serious. We don't have time for your idiocy." she said with a deadpanned expression.

"Ayame, maybe we should hear Naruto-kun out." said Tsunami with a bright smile. Ayame just let out a sigh. Tsunami then looked back at Naruto and gave him an encouraging look.

Naruto stumbled to his feet, his face was bruised and bloody from the beating Ayame had dished out. "Okay...here is my idea...TOPLESS WAITRESSES!!!"

Ayame was joined by Tsunami in utterly stomping Naruto into the earth. "You perverted jerk!" said Ayame.

"I can't believe I trusted you!!!" shouted Tsunami.

Once they had finished Naruto was left twitching in a crater imprinted to the exacted shape of his body. His one hand suddenly shot out and a metaphorical light bulb appeared above it. "I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA!!!" he said suddenly.

* * *

Hanabi stood with her teammates in front of the building they would take the exam in. She couldn't help but notice the intense blush Sakura sported on her cheeks. She raised a curious eyebrow at her friend. Sakura merely looked down to avoid Hanabi. 

Sasuke looked as confident as ever. He gave the building in front of him a disinterested look. They took another step forward when Kakashi appeared. "You all showed up, good." he said his eye forming a 'U'. "I wish you all the best of luck."

"Sensei, you may it sound like we don't stand a chance." said Sakura. Kakashi only seemed to brighten at that. He didn't respond as he left, leaving his team clueless as ever.

"Lets move." said Sasuke. Hanabi didn't look happy at being ordered around but followed him anyway. Sakura stumbled a little before walking behind them. A wave of excitement washed over them.

This was it...the Chuunin Exams...

* * *

"I can't believe they let the walking billboard into this exam." said Ino grinning as Sakura walked in. Sakura simply glared at Ino, not gracing her with a response. Ino only chuckled, before finally seeing Sasuke, where she then went into fan girl mode. Hearts appeared in her eyes and she jumped on his back, all but groping his body as she did so. Sakura's brow began to twitch in fury. 

"Hey Sasuke, see you made it." said Kiba walking up with his team. Shino stood behind the dog boy in his usual passive way. And Hinata stood at his side in her usual timid way.

The Genin hopefuls looked around the room, eying up the competition with scrutinizing gazes. It was crowded, Leaf genin teams littered the room and it became quite clear that Konoha had the advantage with so many teams present.

Hanabi's presence stuck out the most. She was probably the youngest there, even if Konoha was the only village to change the graduating age. She allowed herself a smug look, such an accomplishment was a testament to her strength. However she was brought out of her musings when someone bumped against her.

She turned and glared at the person...only to see a ten year old girl.

"Sorry." said the girl

Hanabi nearly fell over at the irony of the situation.

_"Well at least I won't have to put up with-"_

"COME ONE COME ALL! TASTE THE WORLDS GREATEST RAMEN!!!" shouted a voice above the crowd. Hanabi froze up in an instant, turning her head ever the slightest to her left.

Naruto stood in all his glory waving a bell to attract attention. In one hand he held his ever present sake bottle, something he took a swig from every so often. Behind was a portable ramen stand. Haku stood inside making the noodles, while Zabuza...well Zabuza was strapped to the front of the cart to pull it.

"Why can't I cook in the kitchen?" he asked himself with a sweat drop.

Naruto laughed and rang the bell in his hand faster, drawing everyones attention. A long line had already formed in front of the modest cart. Naruto laughed even louder at that.

The rookie nine stood in front of the chef with disbelieving looks. They only stared at the chef in awkward silence. "Mr. Chef, what are you doing here?"

The group all looked to the young girl who had bumped into Hanabi not long ago, behind her stood two people. Her teammates. Upon spotting Yukia, Naruto's face sobered up dramatically.

He quickly grabbed Yukia's hand and brought their faces far to close together. "To answer her question, my beloved Yukia-chan...I came...to see you." he said huskily.

"Cut the crap asshole!" said Tetsu taking a step forward. "Why are you here, only shinobi are allowed anywhere near the exam!"

Naruto looked over at Tetsu with disinterest. He briefly eyed the new cast around Tetsu's arm. Naruto then looked Tetsu in the eye, and with a dead panned expression, he said. "Go away."

Before Tetsu could respond, Akane walked in front of him. "But really Mr. Chef why are you here?" she asked with a more forceful tone, that almost wined for an answer.

Naruto took another swig of his sake before sitting down cross legged. He brought his hand to his chin and seemed to ponder how to answer...he also looked very drunk once again.

"Welll...lettsss see?" he started his speech finally taking on more of a slurred pattern. "Beingggg that I'm intoxaaaa...intoxiccccc...entixcic..."

"Intoxicated." said Haku from the stand.

"Yeah, what _she_ said." said Naruto. Haku looked down, and went into a dark place. "Since I'm intoxicated right nowww...I don'tt thinnnnkkk I cannnn answer that questionnnn right...soooooooo ZABUZA!!! TELL THEM OF YOURRRR SHAMMMEEEE!!!"

The cold former Demon looked over at the group. His face was frustrated and even a little embarrassed. "I broke stuff...we need money...with all these people here Naruto thought it would be brilliant if we came here to sell ramen." he didn't look at the group any longer, turning his head to stare into nothingness.

Naruto looked over at him and scratched his head. "Thattt soundds like a a a dumb plannnn, are youu sure that's why we're heree?" he said. Everyone gave a sweat drop at that.

Before the conversation could continue any further, a man with silver white hair walked up to them. He adjusted his glasses and looked at the group. "You know, you rookies should really keep it down." said the boy.

"And who are you?" asked Sasuke with a cold glance.

"Oh, of course, where are my manners?" said the boy. "My name is Kabuto, I'm a leaf Genin like yourselves."

"Is this your first time taking the exam Kabuto-san?" asked Sakura. The boy merely shook his head.

"No, this is my sixth time."

The boy continued to converse with the others, while Naruto fell back by Haku.

"Hey Haku, lookkk at that guy ovverrr there." said the chef.

Haku gave another bowl of ramen to another customer. He briefly glanced over at Kabuto. "What about him?"

Naruto grinned. "I think he might be...you know." Haku's eye began to twitch. "Maybe you should go over there and 'get friendly' if you knoww what I meannn."

Haku's entire body was now twitching. "I'm...not...ga-" Haku could not finish that sentence as Naruto grabbed him by the collar and brought him over to where the rookie's were gathered.

"Hey mister potential playmate of Haku's." said Naruto to Kabuto. Kabuto looked a little freaked out at what he had heard.

"Wha-what?"

Naruto shoved Haku into Kabuto. "This is Haku, he likes to dress up, make ramen, and make out with men." stated Naruto.

Haku began to hold himself and shake his head. "He's making stuff up now." he mumbled under his breath. Kabuto was spared having to go into further discussion with the two, as Hanabi shoved them both away.

"Kabuto-san, you said we should keep quiet not that long ago, may I ask why you felt the need to do so?" asked Hanabi.

Kabuto nodded and smiled. "Well you see, it is unwise to draw attention to yourself, you may just piss someone off and end up in a fight you don't need to be in." stated Kabuto. "Take the oto-nin for instance, they are few in number but they get pissed real easily so-"

The Iwa-nin tensed as they noted sound get ready to attack. Apparently they weren't the only ones as several others, made quick grabs for weapons. One of the Genin, a heavily bandaged one, attacked Kabuto. Before anyone could stop him a frying pan was thrown, and hit the nin square in the face.

Naruto's face was that of shock as he hid behind Haku. "MUMMY!!!" he shouted in hysterics. He pointed a finger at the now unconscious Dosu on the floor. "You all see it to right?!" He looked around at everyone for support. "I MEAN LIKE WHAT THE HELL! WHY IS THERE A MUMMY HERE HUH?"

Many people just sweat dropped, as the chef went on.

"Alright brats shut up!" shouted a voice from the front of the room getting everyone attention. "I'm Ibiki, you first examiner, and welcome to hell..."

* * *

Authors notes: Ending it here for a few reasons. I don't feel like writing anymore, and I think its time you people got an update. 

I can't stress enough right now, how much I'm not writing. So I'm asking you all nicely not to ask repeatedly for updates. I'm doing the best, and all things considered you're lucky to be getting this much from me.

Hope it was a good chapter. Comedy was a little thick in this chapter, but be assured that any of the serious plot, takes the comedy away. So this fic is not supposed to seem like a CRACK fic.

I didn't really proof read this chapter. I just didn't have the will to look through it all. If you find something that is like glaringly bad, let me know.


	11. Chapter 11

But he's just a ramen chef!

Authors note: Time to talk. I want to thank everyone so much for all the wonderful things that have been said about this story. All my other stories receive some form of criticism, but this one has yet to have a negative review. If it did, it was to small to be noticed. I just want to thank you all for that.

Here is another exciting, drunken ball of goodness, for you all to enjoy.

Chapter 11: The test, and the boy who won't stop cheating

* * *

_Ibiki sat tied to a chair as his captors stood over him. Each one sporting an irritated look on their face. "Talk!" shouted one. A hard punch smacked against Ibiki's jaw. He gave no indication that he felt the blow, and stared almost stoically into empty space. _

_"This is pointless, he won't crack." said another of the captors. As he stepped forward, his hiate was brought into light, it was Cloud. Ibiki's eyes traveled to him. He was an ugly man, with jagged scars running over his forehead. He had beady eyes, and almost resembled a rat. The Head of Interrogation Jounin, decided to pay the man no more mind, and instead studied his surroundings. He was in a small wooden room, similar to a shed of sorts. The forest could be seen from the windows, meaning he was in some sort of cabin. _

_He was brought from his observations as another punch struck his jaw. "Who is the Bloody Whirlwind!!!" shouted his torturer. _

_Ibiki could only smirk as those words were said. As if on cue the entire hut began to shake violently, and the windows shattered. The wind could be heard howling, as it struck the shelter. Ibiki's smirk only grew as the wind tore the walls and ceiling from the ground into the air. The enemy shinobi covered their eyes and tried to peer into the devastating tornado they were stuck in. Something was coming, they could see it._

_But they had no clue what..._

* * *

_A boy with bright blond hair sat atop the Hokage tower. A white fox mask adorned his face, hiding his identity from the world. The void eye holes of the mask, stared undeterred over the endless horizon. The sun was setting, basking the boy in the dieing sun light._

_"What is it you require, Ibiki?" came a voice from the mask. It sounded hollow and mechanical, as if it did not belong to a human. _

_A large man sporting a black trench coat, walked up behind the boy. He leaned on the wall the boy sat atop. "I just wanted to thank you for showing up when you did." stated the man._

_"I was doing my duty." was all the boy said in response. Ibiki gave a grunt of recognition. _

_The two remained there in silence for what seemed like hours, until finally the boy spoke._

_"The shinobi I killed today...what were they like?" he asked._

_Ibiki looked up at him with a puzzled look. "The hell if I know; didn't really get to know them while they tortured me." stated Ibiki simply._

_"So they were bad people?" asked the boy, not looking away from the setting sun._

_"They were under orders and serving their village, but those orders involved harming the leaf." said Ibiki. "Killing them wasn't about good or bad, it simply needed to be done." _

_"I see."_

_"Something wrong?" asked Ibiki. The boy turned his head to regard him._

_"No...not a thing." _

_Ibiki stayed next to the boy in complete silence, both of them staring out into nothingness._

_"We've done nothing wrong...Naruto."_

* * *

"NARUTO!!!" Ibiki threw a kunai at the chef. Who fell off the desk he was sitting on to avoid. "What are you doing here?!!! People are trying to take a test!" 

"TEST! BUT I DIDN'T STUDY!!!" Naruto grabbed his head and started crying in shame. Various people sweat dropped at that moment. Ibiki just let out a sigh and walked over to the chef. With surprising strength he lifted the boy up and tossed him out the front door. Zabuza and Haku stood their waiting for him.

"About time they threw you out." said Zabuza. Naruto stood up straight and wiped himself off.

"It's okay, I got some more money." said Naruto with a drunken grin. Zabuza raised one of his non-existent eyebrows. "I sold some of the answers to a ninja from Rain."

Naruto began to laugh triumphantly. "But...Naruto...you don't know the answers...do you?"

Naruto stopped laughing as realization dawned on him. "Then...what the hell did I sell that guy."

* * *

In the testing room and Rain-nin stood up from his seat. He threw a crumpled piece of paper at the ground in anger. "WHAT THE HELL!!! IT'S JUST A RECIPE FOR RAMEN!!!!" 

"Number 19, 35, and 39...you are disqualified."

Rain nin all yelled. "GOD DAMN IT!!!"

* * *

"Oh well I'm sure it will still help them." said Naruto as he took a swig from his sake bottle. Zabuza and Haku just sighed as they watched the chef. It didn't take long before a few pissed Rain-nin stomped out of the Exam room angry. Haku seemed to realize something at that point. 

"Zabuza...won't someone from mist recognize us?" he asked. Zabuza's eyes widened.

"Uh..." The former 'Demon' seemed to be contemplating what to do. "No no, I'm sure they won't recognize us."

Naruto gave a loud snort. "Oh I'm sure they'll think nothing of you." said the chef. "I mean, I'm sure they'll mistake you for another 6'3" eyebrowless man, that travels in the company of a gender confused homosexual."

Haku couldn't even get mad at the comment questioning his sexuality. Naruto's words, on their situation, were all to true, and both he and Zabuza knew it. They gave worried looks to their blond friend. Naruto just took another swig of sake and sighed.

"Okay...how many teams from mist were their?" asked Naruto looking out a window.

Zabuza put his hand to his chin and began to think. "I believe it was only one."

"TO EASY!!!" shouted Naruto in joy.

* * *

Ibiki sat at the front of the room with a bored look on his face. None of the applicants could really hold his interest. Sure some of them were strong, cunning, and noteworthy; but even so he just couldn't get himself excited about the years Chuunin candidates. 

He then remembered throwing Naruto out of the room.

He small smirk formed on his lips. _"He sure has changed..."_

* * *

_Another flashback..._

_Ibiki stood at the top of the Hokage tower staring at the sunset. "I know you are there...Naruto." _

_A blond figure with a white fox mask appeared. "How did you know it was me?" asked the young boy. _

_Ibiki turned to face the young shinobi. "Because...your scent is that of blood and death." The boy said nothing at those words for a while. He soon sat on the tiled roof next to Ibiki._

_"But...don't we all...as shinobi stink like that." _

_"Yes we do...but their are few who are forced to kill as many as you have." Ibiki allowed one of his eyes to gauge the blond beside him for some sort of reaction. Even with the mask on, Ibiki was confident in his ability to analyze people. He was surprised though or perhaps not at all, when he saw nothing from the blond._

_"I only do what I must for the village...no more no less." stated the blond. The tone in his voice seemed a tad more hollow then usual. He absently held up his hands and stared at them for a while. "Every shinobi does the same, regardless of the blood spilled."_

_"Aye we do." said Ibiki. He watched as Naruto's shoulders sagged but the barest of centimeters. _

_"..."_

_"My scent." started Naruto. "Can I change it."_

_Ibiki shot him a questioning look for a moment. "We all smell of blood Naruto, its really nothing to be ashamed of."_

_"Yes, but as you said...no one reeks more of it then me." _

_This time it was Ibiki who sagged his shoulders. He let out a large sigh then looked back at the boy beside him. "Your father once told me, we are sinners viewed as saints by the people we kill for." stated Ibiki. _

_"Blood stained saints." said Naruto absentmindedly. _

_"For all the blood we've spilled, we have still done great good."_

_Naruto stood up as Ibiki finished. He turned around and began walking away._

_"I still don't wish to reek of blood." _

* * *

Ibiki stopped his musings when he opened his eyes. It scanned the room as if looking for something. _"Thats odd...I thought I sensed something."_

* * *

Naruto looked at the foot under the desk he was hiding under. He sported a bandit bandanna over his face. Effectively, in his opinion, hiding his identity. He looked up at the person he was below and gave a devilish grin. It the Mist nin he was targeting. The poor boy was completely unaware he was being targeted. 

Naruto carefully put the flamable cloth around the nins foot. No one seemed to be aware of his action.

Naruto then struck a match and lit the cloth. It didn't take long for it to set on fire. The nin didn't even look down, to see how the fire was started. He only jumped from his desk and started screaming for help. Naruto took this opportunity to sneak a cheat sheet above the desk.

* * *

Ibiki ran over to the student a little startled at the sudden fire. Everyone dropped what they were doing and stared at the poor shinobi. Some of the Chuunin proctors got up and began to douse the flames with there hands. It didn't take long for the fire to go out. 

Ibiki quickly walked over to where the boy had been seated, to examen what had caused the flames. He stopped however, at the sight of a very obvious cheat sheet on top of the exam.

Ibiki's mind started to put a few things together. _"This was obviously placed here, to incriminate the mist-nins and get them kicked out of the exam. It was brilliantly executed and whoever did so showed chuunin thinking in executing it. Setting the enemies leg on fire to distract everyone, then leave this to get his team knocked out. It was done so perfectly that I will have to honor it." _

"Numbers 58, 30, 84...you guys are disqualified for cheating."

"Wha-"

"OUT!" shouted Ibiki. The mist backed away in fear and quickly left.

* * *

Yukia watched as the only mist team was kicked out of the room. She gave a small smirk at good fortune, or perhaps good tactics by another team. Either way it was one less enemy to worry about. 

She turned back to her own paper and glared at the sixth question. She was having severe trouble with it...she could only imagine the tough time Tetsu was having.

Suddenly a blush formed on her cheeks and she had to stifle a moan. Something had just rubbed against her inner thigh in the most pleasurable of ways.

"My, my; a red thong, I never figured you for the type." whispered a voice from underneath her desk that she instantly recognized. She swung her head to look around the room. Apparently no one had heard the blond. Or noticed her actions. People were still distracted with what had occurred not that long ago.

She peeked under desk and sure enough, there was Naruto in all his glory. A funny bandanna covered his face, and Yukia had to raise and eyebrow. Her blush grew more intense when his fingers traveled over her lap again. A small shiver went up her back.

"I was just passing through when I came across a pair of sexy legs...it figures they are yours." he said in a husky whisper. Had anyone else said that she would have throttled them, but for some strange reason (Author starts to whistle and look away) she found his words very endearing. She stifled yet another moan as he groper her legs. She looked around her, her mind questioning how all these trained shinobi could possibly not notice this. (Author starts to whistle and look away)

She did finally see Ibiki stare at her. Quickly she directed her attention back to her paper and prayed he would not disqualify her and her teammates. She didn't look under the desk again, but felt Naruto's probing hands. They were gentle caresses, sometimes innocent and soothing, rubbing only her lower leg. And other times daring and down right sensual, rubbing her inner thigh in such a way that it made her squeeze her legs together, to close them off.

She felt a gentle kiss on her knee. She blushed a little and finally looked down again. Naruto had removed his bandanna, and even under a desk in such ridiculous situation, he looked sexy. His hands finally became shameless and drew towards her thong. A panicked look appeared in her eyes.

It surprised her that she was frightened not by him doing this, but by getting caught as he did it. She mouthed the words 'No' and 'Don't do it', but he only grinned at her. Yukia's eyes traveled back to Ibiki, who had just sent to more teams on their way.

_"Please not now." _she mouthed to him.

His grin only widened as he traced an outline on her panties. "Then when?" he asked in an innocent voice. "How's about...you go out with me when this is done?"

She blushed yet again and looked around her. Once again the sight of no one caring appeared before her view. _"Will you stop if I say yes." _she mouthed out.

He gave her a nod. "Fine." she said in a low whisper.

"Is their something you need help with miss?" asked Ibiki in a sarcastic voice as he stood beside her. She nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Uh, umm."

"Well, perhaps your a little shy about-" he stared under the desk at the empty space. There was no sign of anything indicating she had been cheating, and her exam sheet was no more done then that of someone trying to fill the questions out earnestly. "Never mind." he said as he walked away. His eyes traveled to a seat next to a proctor, which now a very drunk chef sat in.

"WHAT THE HELL!!! NARUTO, HOW DID YOU GET BACK IN HERE!!!"

"But Ibiki-saaaaaaaaaaaan, I wass beingg goooood!" shouted Naruto in protest. A visible vain appeared on Ibiki's forehead.

"TIME'S UP!!" shouted the Examiner. "Final question you can choose to take it, if you get it wrong you all have to quit being shinobi, you get it right and you instantly get ten points for the exam!!" he said it in a hurried voice that sounded both annoyed and tired with the situation. It seemed that not many were able to digest what he was saying and gave him questioning glances. "Alright you all pass."

Question marks floated in the air. People just stared blankly around them for and explanation. Ibiki just crossed his arms and leaned against his desk. No sooner after he did so did the window break and a trench coat garbed woman appeared.

"Howdy maggots, names-"

"ANKO-CHAN!!!"

"NARU-CHAN!!!"

Anko's face brightened up and kiddy like stars appeared in her eyes, as she was tackled down by a leaping Naruto. They both disappeared behind the front desk, where moans and other suggestive noises began to erupt. It became really awkward when Anko's bra was thrown from behind the desk, and it landed on Ibiki.

"Anko" said Ibiki dangerously. The noises stopped and Anko got up to the front of the room. She didn't even hid her modesty, as her breasts were quite visible from underneath her fishnet shirt.

"Alright, I'm your second examiner...follow me to the next...stage." she then began counting the amount of people left. "Holy crap Ibiki, your really losing your touch."

"I got impatient." he stated. She just shrugged and gave a wide sweep with her arm, signaling everyone to follow her.

"Come on Naru-chan, you can keep me company." her voice and disposition took on far more cheery and playful tone when she talked to him.

"Coming!" said Naruto as he skipped behind her. The remaining exam participants in the room soon began to follow them.

* * *

"Alrighty, this here is the Forest of Death." stated Anko bluntly. She then began to go over all the dangers that it held. "Your objective is quite simple, retrieve the scroll you don't have from one of the other teams, once you have both scrolls, make your way to the tower at the center of the forest." 

"Anko-chan is so cute when she talks about these things." said Naruto with a smile as chugged down some more sake.

"Sign these release forms in case you die."

"Yep really cute." he finished.

* * *

Ibiki collected the papers around the room. The light of the setting sun filled the room and he soon let out a sigh. He collected the papers by that had been near the mist nin that caught fire. A strange scent caught his nose, but he couldn't place it. He took a few sniffs of the air, but then simply dismissed the smell 

It didn't take long before he arrived near the girl who had been acting strange towards the end of the exam. Once again the same smell filled his nose. His eyebrow twitched at its familiararity. But once again its identity remained at the tip of his tongue.

Finally he arrived at the front desk where both Anko and Naruto became...more 'acquainted' with one another. And the smell assaulted his nostrils once more, and he could finally place.

"Ramen...interesting change."

* * *

Authors note: There, done hope you all liked it. I'm kind of proud of the whole smell thing with Naruto. I personally thought it was an interesting thing for Ibiki to notice.

As for Naruto asking the Iwa-nin on a date. I have a reason for this, and am not ignoring the fact that Naruto shouldn't have asked her out considering his past with stone. Also I remind everyone that this is 'M' rated. So what I did with her and the panties is perfectly legal. So yeah...

Also I feel the need to state the Harem thing again. It is a very loose Harem, as in every girl pretty much has feelings for Naruto in this story, and at one point or another is going to show them. Not necessarily in kisses, sex, or that sort of thing. But in blushes and the fact that they won't get with any other character.

I absolutely hate side pairings because I want every girl to be with Naruto. Its one of my quirks.

Hope some of the usual humor was their. And hope that no one is getting sick of this story, and feels that it is becoming crackish and not serious enough. The serious stuff comes later, and I'm only showing the lighter side of things. Hopefully you are all smart enough to catch some of the small dark undertones.

Anyway its late, so I haven't proof read. Will do that tomorrow and resubmit. But I give it to you now because I haven't updated in a while.

Sorry this chapter is short. I started writing it around 11:00 p.m. and just finished around 2:15 a.m.

ENJOY and REVIEW!!!!


	12. Time for something perverted

But He's Just a Ramen Chef!!! 

Authors note: Heres another chapter. Sorry with my inability to update my other stories at a reasonably good pace. The reality of the matter is, that when I write a chapter it tends to be very good, however, some times I am just so not in the mood, that I end up not writing. So sorry for any delay you will experience for the following stories:

ALL OF THEM!!!!

I plan on updating eventually, but I don't have a timeline or anything. I mean, its not like theirs a chart on my wall with deadlines or something. I'm just a completely lazy bum that does nothing with his life but the average stuff. And the occasional philosophy of life, type thoughts. You know the typical teen with ADD.

WARNING: Do not drink anything while reading this fic, as you will most likely spit it out on your keyboard from laughter. This has already happened with one of my readers.

Kai Dragoon my heart goes out to you and your poor keyboard...

Now to type like a madman alsdkjf;alsjdfklasjdfl;ashoiqhatlhslkfjaslk;hfqihroa...sorry terrible joke right there.

**Another Warning: There is** **Citrus content in this chapter, you have been warned and should turn around if you are not of age, or maturity to handle it.**

Chapter?: I'm to lazy to check what chapter this is I think its twelve...maybe eleven.

Title: Time for something perverted.

* * *

Hanabi looked over the contract in her hands. Noting the intelligence of such a document. One might think that practical prevention of lawsuits was the only reason for such a piece of paper, but it proved to do something else entirely. It established fear. 

When people are confronted with the harsh truth of their mortality, in such a casual way, it tends to stem feelings of doubt and terror throught someones beings. Already she could observe several teams questioning whether or not they wanted to give up.

Hanabi smirked to herself. The exam was becoming less hazardous by the second, as a clear line was being formed of those who didn't want to participate in the exams.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL DOING!!!"

Hanabi's eyes widened to impossible size as the drunk ramen chef that was Uzumaki Naruto, made his way to the front of the line. He chugged his sake then through the bottle in random direction. (Don't liter)

He glared at the shinobi present, somehow scaring most of them.

"You call yourselves men!!" shouted Naruto.

"Actually some of us are women." said a lone Konuchi from near the back. Naruto glared at her and she shrunk back into the crowd.

Naruto stuck his finger out, and pointed towards Hanabi; an action that surprised the girl greatly. "Look over at Midget-san!!!" he yelled. Hanabi felt all the numerous eyes lock on to her. She blushed a little, suddenly very self conscious. She then grew far redder in anger, at the midget comment again. "She's younger then all of you and still she has the balls to stay in the exam!"

Hanabi suddenly froze up. Regardless of her maturity, experience, and breeding; she was still clueless on certain phrasing and mannerisms. Particularly ones of endearing quality involving male genitalia

"_He thinks I have...balls?!" _She felt her eyes tearing up, and despite herself, she was still an innocent thirteen year old girl. Sure she'd killed someone before, but that was beside the point.

She felt her body turn to figurative stone, and she went to a very dark place...

"-and she's brave and puts you all to sha-"

"Hey whats wrong with the midget girl." Interrupted one of the contestants, affectively bringing Naruto out of his rantings. Naruto turned around and stared at Hanabi who wore a shocked look on her face. She remained frozen and blank.

"AH, Midget-san!" Naruto ran by her side and began waving his hand in front of her face. She showed no reaction to his gestures. "This isn't good." said Naruto in a terrified voice. "I'll have to give her...mouth to mouth."

His lips were upon hers in seconds. He gently caressed her lower lip with his tongue, as he gave her the Naruto version of 'mouth to mouth rescesitation'. Hanabi came back from her own world, in an instant. Her face lighting up and her eyes widening to impossible sizes.

Poor Naruto, before he knew what was going on she had already smashed her fist into his head, sending his body to the floor. However, he didn't stay down for long.

"Miget-san, your alive!" he said excitedly with stars in his eyes. "My mouth to mouth worked!!!"

"MOUTH TO MOUTH MY ASS, YOU USED TONGUE YOU FREAKING PEDOPHILE!!!!" she shouted in anger, her face still red.

Naruto looked confused. "I did?" he said with a rather blank face. "Oh my, sorry Midget-san...force of habit."

Hanabi's face became even redder and she stormed off to be near her team. Naruto just shrugged and turned around back to the shinboi he had been lecturing not that long ago. They were all gone.

"Hey Anko-chan, what happened to the people I was lecturing?" he asked rather innocently. Anko just pouted at him.

"Naru-chan...I didn't know you liked your girls so young." she said letting her pout become more pronounced.

"It was mouth to mouth I SWEAR!!!" he said defensively waving his hands in front of him

A mischievous grin formed and the snake Jounins lips. "Then show me what one of your real kisses looks like."

Naruto looked around him. All the competitors had left to there respective waiting gates. Their was no one around for possibly miles; they were completely alone. Naruto smirked walking up to Anko. He closed the gap between them so quickly she had hardly any time to react. His tongue was already in her mouth, but it wasn't probing. No, instead it gently ran over her own tongue, coaxing a moan from the woman. He then ran it across her teeth, lightly tickling the gums. Anko gave a small giggle but the sensation was quite pleasurable.

She felt his strong arms pick her up, and carry her behind the registration counter. He didn't once lose contact with her lips as he gently began to suck on her upper lip. Anko was unaware that saliva was now slowly dripping down her chin. She found most of her senses were not working at the current moment. All she could feel was his touch, as he laid her on the ground gently. His mouth finally left hers as he trailed hot butterfly kisses down her neck. Her eyes were glazed over, and she gave a low moan of encouragement.

His hand danced around her inner thigh, not going any farther then that.

* * *

**From this point on it's considered limeish content, probably borderline lemon. This is fair warning, as if you are not of the appropriate age, you should turn back. By continuing to read on, you swear that you are mature enough to handle the words written, and give your full support in what the author has placed here. If you are not of age, then please skim down to the end notice and continue to enjoy the fic. You have been warned.

* * *

**

Naruto coaxed yet another response from Anko, as he sucked on her neck. His hands already up her mini skirt, dancing near the edge of her panties. She gave a small shiver of anticipation.

Naruto picked himself from off her, straddling her hips with his own. She gave a sudden gasp of pleasure. He then sat lightly on her stomach, and removed his straw hat, throwing it off in a random direction. He then removed the purple shades that rested at the edge of his nose, tossing them when he had removed his orange over shirt as well. While he was doing all of this Anko had removed her trench coat, by simply pulling her arms from its sleeves. It now rested underneath her, more like a blanket. She never once broke eye contact with Naruto intense gaze.

Naruto bent down, and gave a gentle suck at her lower lip. His hands once again wandered, finding the hem of her fishnet shirt. With trained delicacy, he began to lift it. His finger tips gently touching her stomach as the moved up. Her body shivered again, and she raised her arms above her head, to help him take it off. The gentle touches of his fingers, soon found themselves traveling over her bra. Her nipples perked up at that point and she gave a contained and controlled moan.

The spot between her legs was growing in heat, and Anko for some reason was feeling embarrassed by the intense wetness. She made an attempt to close her legs, to suppress the ever expanding urge she was feeling. However, she was met by the gentle rocking of his hips. Her eyes widened to impossible size, as she gasped out. The saliva that had been gathering in her mouth, slowly spilled over her lips and went down her chin.

She felt another slow assault on her neck as his pleasurable sucks began to leave hickies in their wake. Her hands gripped the back of his white under shirt. Her nails dug into the fabric as his kisses came down to her chest. She arched her back, and with quick speed his hands were at the clips of her bra, slowly undoing them. He'd finished unclipping the bra, but had yet to removed it. Instead he fully removed his own white shirt, throwing it behind him. Her eyes immediately traveled to the cross shape scar he had towards the center of his chest.

"Hey Naruto whats tha-" she never got to finished that sentence as he placed his finger on her full lips.

"Shh." he whispered huskily. "Lets not talk about that stuff."

She nodded, then grinned. Slowly Anko began to suck on the single digit Naruto had placed on her lips. He kiss her passionately and then let his muscled chest rub against her still bra covered breasts. He gently rocked his entire body against her, in one motion.

"N-naaa-" she couldn't even get as far as his name. The sensation of having her breasts worked over as well as her hips was becoming overwhelming. If he didn't stop soon, she wouldn't be able to finish _with_ him. "Naruto." she half moaned. She pushed his chest off of hers, placing him in the sitting position on her flat stomach. She immediately swept her bra away, exposing her naked breasts. The chef only smirked at her and gently began to rub one.

Anko's face was such an intense blush as he did so. Her hands crept up to the hem of his pants, and she stared at him longingly.

Slowly her fingers traveled down the zipper. She placed it delicately between her thumb and forefinger. And agonizingly slow, she pulled it down...

* * *

**End of lime/lemon content.**

* * *

"Zabuza, shouldn't we have waited for Naruto?" asked Haku as the pair walked through the Forest of Death. 

"Naruto said, to go into the menacing forest and sell ramen." stated Zabuza simply, as he hauled the large cart behind him.

"Yeah I know, but still should have waited for him." said Haku giving a pout.

"You to young to understand Haku, even I was able to understand the growing situation between Naruto and the crazy lady."

"To young? I'm older then Naruto."

Zabuza stopped dragging the cart at that point and looked over at Haku. "I still think its to early for you to know." he said flatly. He picked up his pace and the car moved with him. "I can't believe he expects us to sell ramen out here."

* * *

Hanabi observed the surrounding forest with her Byukagen. All appeared to be safe, from all sides. No ambushes, or traps could be seen. "Its safe to move." stated the youngest member of team 7. 

Her teammates gave a nod of confirmation, and proceeded to follow her. Sakura gazed at Hanabi's back the entire way.

"What is it, Sakura-san." asked Hanabi catching Sakura by surprise.

"Oh...um...nothing." she said with a nervous laugh. Hanabi slightly turned her head and raised a eyebrow at the girl. Sakura immediately cracked under the girls gaze. "I was just wondering what it was like to be kissed..."

Hanabi nearly slipped on a tree branch and her jaw dropped. "A-are you serious?!" she asked surprised. Sakura blushed and averted her eyes. "IT WASN'T A KISS!!! IT WAS SICK PERVERSION FROM A SICK MAN!!!"

Sakura just dropped the whole subject but on the insider.

**"The book says it feels like your mouth is on fire, and only his saliva can put it out." Quoted Inner Sakura. **She held up an imaginary copy of Ich Ich Paradise. Sakura could only blush more as her inner self began to quote more lines from the erotic orange novel.

Hanabi guaged her teammates face as it changed into a variety of different shades of red. It didn't take a genius to figure out some thoughts that might be going through her head. But all thoughts upon her teammates and anything else was dropped when she spotted something on the edge of her Byukagen. A large chakra mass was approaching fast, a wind attack.

Her eyes went wide. "Everybody scatter!" she yelled in warning.

The wind jutsu swept past all the trees with a thunderous force. Team 7 was unable to fully dodge.

* * *

Naruto sat up, his body completely nude. The only thing covering his modesty, was his straw hat, which he'd placed there for convenience. Anko had herself wrapped in her trench coat. She didn't sit up like Naruto did, preferring to lay down. 

Naruto took out a cigarette, and placed it in his mouth. Anko looked surprised. "I didn't know you smoked." she stated.

"Only after sex." he said rather plainly as he blew a big smoke ring.

"After sex? You mean I'm not your first?"

The cigarette immediately fell from Naruto's mouth as he stared at her with a shocked expression. "WHATS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?!!" he asked panicked. "Did I not preform well, I thought for sure you were satisfied." Comedic tears were falling from his eyes and he was near pulling out his hair. "Did I do something wrong...SHIT...Just give me another shot Anko, I'm positive you'll forget it."

He said this with a pleading look in his eyes. Anko only laughed. "Relax big boy, you were great-"

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I WAS!"

"-I only thought it was your first because of how young you still are." said Anko with logic shinning through. Naruto gave a relieved sigh. Then began to give a macho laugh.

"Of course thats what it was...UZUMAKI NARUTO WORLDS GREATEST RAMEN CHEF NEVER FAILS TO PLEASE!!!!!!" Naruto soon found a pair of arms wrapped around him, and the feeling of Anko's naked breasts on his back. Naruto gave her a side glance. "What? You want to go again?"

"Who was you first." she whispered in his ear.

Naruto scratched his head, almost as if trying to remember. "A girl in Suna." was his simple reply.

"Hmm, was she hotter then me?" Anko asked with a pout.

Naruto smirked at his purple haired friend. "She could definitely hold her own against you."

"Oh well." was all Anko said. She the bit on Naruto's neck and began to suck on it, leaving a distinctive mark. Naruto let out a sigh, but suddenly lifted his head in alarm. He got up rather quickly.

"I have to go take care of something." he said. Anko stared at him suspiciously. He gave her one of his usual grins. "Unless Anko-chan just can't get enough of me."

She threw a kunai at him, which missed its mark by a lot. She then gave a smirk. "Get out of here and take care of whatever it is you need to take care of." Naruto grinned at her. "Don't get so cocky Naru-chan, you were good...but not _that_ good."

Naruto frowned and ran into the Forest of Death with a stream of tears down his face. Anko could only laugh as she laid back down, not even bothering to get dressed yet.

"...you were great."

* * *

Team 7 wondered when the exam had started going to hell. 

Hanabi would say it was when Naruto had 'kissed' her.

Sakura would say it was when they had to deal with that crazy test given by that Ibiki guy.

And Sasuke would have to say it was when the pale creepy extended his neck and was now attempting to give him a love bite.

No one could move, they were frozen by fear. None of them able to so much as move a toe, let alone their whole bodies. However, the pale stranger that was Orochimaru was only inches away from biting Sasuke in the neck. And unless one of them did something in the next second. The poor boy would be scarred for life.

Orochimaru was only a centimeter away from his goal. He would soon have the youngest Uchiha under his control. That alone was worth any risk...at least thats what he thought. Still at only one centimeter away, Orchimaru had frozen solid in fear. Paralyzed by an unreal killer intent.

His eyes shook with recognition of who it was. In retrospect he shouldn't have been all that surprised. He had seen the young boy during the written exam, it only made sense that the boy was able to feel his presence in the exam. Still, the snake Sannin had forgotten what this felt like.

They'd encountered each other in the past. Back when the boy was still young and growing. He had raided one of his research labs with the old man and some ANBU. Back then the kid was nothing but an amateur, albeit a strong brat, but still an amateur. Now however, Orochimaru was dealing with something that was beyond him. Something that didn't belong in the mortal world.

The complete and utter assurance of death. Zero chance at hope, and zero chance at success. It was godly.

If he went that one extra centimeter, he would not live. Such total control over the situation just by being present, should not be allowed. The snake Sannin smirked backing away from Sasuke neck, coming up near his ear.

"You're luck Sasuke-kun...I can't mark you today." said Orochimaru in a silk voice. "However, know that if you wish to be strong you will need my help...here in this place you will be only hindered, even now you are being hindered, as I attempt to give you a gift of power _he_ stops me."

Sasuke looked surprised. He struggled to move his lips. "W-who is..._he?" _

Orochimaru only smirked. "The Bloody Whirlwind." At that moment Orochimaru was gone, disappearing with the wind in a swirl of leaves. Sasuke fell to his knees, barely able to breath after the little incident had occurred.

Team 7 all panted heavily. One more so then the rest.

_"That...that ability to create fear by just being in front of me...that man was powerful." _thought Sasuke. However his thoughts soon traveled to another piece of information._ "If something scared him off...it must be even stronger."_

* * *

Naruto stood on a tree branch, his back to the trunk and his arms folded. He lowered the straw hat over his eyes, as Team 7 began to gather themselves now that Orochimaru was gone. He'd managed to stop the snake. He wondered if he'd truly grown so weak though, as to not notice the snake until it was almost to late. 

"I must be getting old." said Naruto. He then looked at the sake bottle in his hands. "Then again...I am a little tipsy."

* * *

Orochimaru jumped from branch to branch with an annoyed look on his face. "Damn him." he said through gritted teeth. "He just had to show up...his power is remarkable though." Orchimaru clenched his fists. 

"You're not angry are you Snake-teme?"

Orochimaru's eyes went wide at the sound of that voice. He had no time to react when a foot met his face, sending him sprawling to the ground. He flipped himself off the ground and landed on his feet, glaring daggers at his opponent. Naruto stood before him in all his glory, his eyes shadowed by his straw hat.

"You weren't trying to leave...were you Snake-teme?" he asked in a mock playful voice. The blond then took a swig of sake from the bottle in his hands. The shadow lifted from his eyes and an intense flush could be seen on his face. He simply grinned at Orochimaru.

The Snake only stared unbelievingly at the boy in front of him. _"Is he...drunk?" _

"Whats wronng Sssnake-teme? Don't want to to fight?" Naruto asked once again drinking from his bottle. He gave a cheesy grin, and then charged at Orochimaru.

Orochimaru was surprised at how slow the blond was coming at him in comparison to what he was expecting. He immediately dodged out of the way, slammed his fist into the blond's face. Naruto fell back, however his loose falling foot, suddenly hit Orochimaru in the face, while he was falling.

The sheer force behind the seemingly gentle hit, was enough to send Orochimaru flying into the trees, with a little more the half the bones in his face broke. "How the hell!" he said in anger.

Naruto only smiled from his spot on the ground. He did a backwards sumer-salt on to his feet. He wobbled as he stood, but his smile never left his face. "Come onnnnnn." he said holding and open palm out in front of him, signaling for the snake to come down. "Get your pale ass down here and fight like a...whatever the hell your gender is?"

Orochimaru gritted his teeth. He would not be insulted by a drunk. He jumped down, spear heading towards Naruto at lighting speed. Naruto simple leaned to one side and Orochimaru swept past him. The Sannin didn't take long to recover, instantly sending a kick towards Naruto. Naruto simple started falling backwards, avoiding the kick. As the blond tried to regain his balance Orochimaru threw a right hook at the blond.

As it was coming in, Naruto leaned forward and threw up. Orochimaru's punch completely sailed over head. And he could only gaze at the blond wide eyed for such an action. With Orochimaru's body now overextended, his chin was wide open. So thus when Naruto brought his head up, it made a clean hit. Causing Orochimaru to fall back on his behind.

Naruto seemed surprised at seeing Orochimaru down, or perhaps it was just all part of his act. He grinned and gave a sloppy kick with no real target on the Sannin. Orochimaru rolled on his side to avoid it.

Naruto's kick swung so wide that his leg was now up above his shoulders. He looked ready to fall over at any moment. Orochimaru didn't attack though, knowing that this was just another one of the blond's clever ploys.

"Fine if your taijutsu is so unpredictable..." he began to form a bunch of rapid seals. "Take this!" Fire shot from his mouth taking on no specific form, but in a large quantity.

Naruto stared wide eyed at the approaching wall of flame. He immediately turned around on a dime and began to run in the opposite direction of the flames.

Orochimaru breathed heavily, using far more chakra in that attack then he had intended to. He couldn't help it, even with the blond fighting so ridiculously, there was still an underline danger to him. Orochimaru knew the boys true skills, and if he could fight this well without using them, then he shuddered to think of what would happen if he did. The Sannin was also at a disadvantage. He had expelled the necessary amount of Chakra to give Sasuke the curse seal, even if he had never delivered, the Chakra was still used up. And thus he was extremely tired.

But he was just making excuses. Even if at full strength he wouldn't stand a chance against the blond. Orochimaru came out of his thoughts when he heard some shouting. He looked up and gave a gasp of shock, and nearly face faulted.

"HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!!" Naruto was running around with his ass on fire, patting it out with his hands.

Orochimaru just stared out at the scene. "No way-" Gasped blood suddenly shooting out of his mouth. He looked down and found Naruto's hand impaled in his chest. His pants were no longer on fire, and glared up at Orochimaru with a devil like anger.

"I'm done playing games...Orochimaru." he said simply retracting his arm from the nin. Orochimaru just stared forward, but a smile came to his lips.

"Then next time...we'll have to be serious." Orochimaru then began to melt into mud.

Naruto only brought his straw hat over his eyes. "So...he escaped, and with him being so low on chakra it is nearly impossible to find him with him suppressing it." He stared at his hand. The one now covered in mud, when he originally thought it was blood. He gave a small smile. "Good." He took out his sake bottle and took a swig until it was empty. He then threw it off on the ground. "I don't think I'm ready to kill again." he said in a dead monotonous voice.

* * *

_Five days later at the tower..._

"So did you guys make any money?" asked Naruto with a greedy smile on his lips. Zabuza and Haku just looked at each other.

"No." They said flatly. Naruto's face instantly became terrified.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO!!!" he shouted rubbing his hands through his hair furiously. "Ayame-neechan is going to kill me for not turning out a bigger profit...HOW COULD YOU MAKE NO MONEY IN FIVE DAYS!!!"

"Nobody came." stated Haku. His face then took on a more frightened look. "We spent so many dark nights...in the forest...waiting...waiting." His eyes began to tear up. "IT WAS TERRIFYING, YOU PIG OF A MAN!!!"

Naruto backed off instantly, sensing danger from his gender confused friend. "Everyone thought it was some sort of trick, so they didn't get any closer to us." Explained Zabuza to Naruto. Naruto merely slapped his palm on his head.

"Of course..."

Naruto looked around the room. Everyone that passed the survival portion of the exam was present. He even noticed that Midget-sans team had passed through. A smirk formed on his lips. "You must all be hungry!" he yelled out to the remaining teams. They all looked at him. "Why not eat some ramen to replenish your strength?"

The remaining Genin all seemed to look at each other, before deciding it was a good idea. Naruto had there orders ready in an instant. He watched them all as they took their first bite. A smug smirk soon crossed his face.

"muhehehe...gotcha." he whispered to himself before he started laughing in the most outrageous manner. "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...FOOLS THAT RAMEN WAS-"

Everyone spit out there ramen instantly.

"Poison!"

"Explosive!"

"HIGH IN FAT!!!" guess who, I just dare you.

"Just tell us man!!!"

Naruto just continued to laugh. "It was priced on our menu at (**Insert large amount here)**." Everyone dropped there bowls and chopsticks. All of them gazing wide eyed and slack jawed at the chef. Naruto only grinned. "I expect payment by the end of the month."

He turned and walked towards the front of the room, where the Hokage would soon be speaking. He layed out a bright pink mat and sat on it. He took out a sake saucer and began to deposit his favorite liquid into it. He drank and then sighed in joy. "Nothing like good sake after a hard days work." He felt glares from everybody in the room but brushed them off.

The Hokage then chose that moment to enter the room accompanied by the Kazekage Gaara, Anko, a Sound Jounin, several Jounin sensei's, and Hyuuga Hiashi. He stared at Naruto for a moment and then smiled. Anko instantly ran up to him and gave him a 'friendly' greeting. While Gaara only smirked at him and took a seat beside him.

"Howdy Gaara, what are you doing here?" he asked in cheer.

"I had some business with the Hokage still...thought I'd see how the exams are going."

"Here have some sake." said Naruto shoving it in front of Gaara, who politely declined. "Your no fun, Kakshi, Asuma, GAI, how bout you!" All three Jounin shook there heads. While this was going on the Hokage was explaining the rules of the preliminaries.

Anko however took him up on his offer, and was now hanging off the blond.

Gaara then perked his head up, as if remembering something. "By the way Naruto, I forgot to tell you..." he started. Naruto looked at him with a curious expression. "Temari says she needs you to go find the best medic nin in the land, because Tokamaru is sick."

Naruto blinked a few times and then shrugged. "Sure, I'll get right on that."

Anko looked angry at being left out. "Naru-chan who are Temari and Tokamaru?"

Naruto looked at her and grinned. "You remember that talk we had some time ago when you asked me about my first." Anko nodded. "Well thats Temari."

"Ohhhhhhhhhh." said Anko making an 'o' face. "Then who's Tokamaru?"

Naruto just grinned.

"My son..."

* * *

Authors note: BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, BET NONE OF YOU SAW THAT COMING. NARU-CHAN IS A DADDY. 

I personally find it hysterical that Naruto is a deadbeat dad, the kind only an anime could portray. More on this subject in the next chapter. I'll explain the time frame for when it happened and stuff later. I really wanted this to be a surprise so I didn't even hint at it. And no, Naruto did not marry Temari.

As for the lime in this chapter. How was it? I didn't feel like making it a full blown lemon, because I thought that would distract from some of the bigger stuff in this fic.

Also nobody should question Naruto's fight with Orochimaru. One Naruto is godly powerful, and Orochimaru wasn't at full strength. Sasuke beat him when he was like this in the manga, and my Naruto is way stronger then that. Naruto also didn't kill him right away because he was sort of playing around, and he wasn't sure he had the resolve to kill again. At least not like this.

More of the pairing stuff will reveal later. Like I said its a lose pairing with a lot of crazy Naruto perversion. There are really no dark corners in the romance aspect of this fic. Its pretty straight forward, as all the girls grow to love him on some level. Some taking it farther then others, but still not to the point where he's only 'dating' one of them. He sleeps around but they don't really mind. Its just a fic so it doesn't really matter. In real life I don't condone this sort of behavior and do not practice it. In a fictional world I'm able to control characters feelings so it just becomes and entertaining plot device that shouldn't be taken to seriously. IN OTHER WORDS, no bitching and just read and see what I mean. You should already have a good taste at what I'm aiming for.

Tokamaru: He's only like two.


	13. Shock, what being perverted can do

But He's Just a Ramen Chef!!!

Authors notes: Hi, time for another chapter. Yes, Tokamaru is Naruto's real son, not adoptive or anything like that. He's the blood son.

More comedy and hilarity will now ensue…enjoy.

Chapter 13: Shock; what being perverted can do.

* * *

"My son.." 

As those words left Naruto's mouth, time stood still. The room became oddly silent; even for those who had not heard the blond's statement…of course it wouldn't be long before everyone heard the big news.

"YOUR WHAT!!!!" shouted Anko, her head suddenly seeming much larger and far more intimidating. Naruto cringed back in sudden fear, his eyes becoming big and his body began to shake. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR SON!!!"

"Uh…I mean…the thing I made after indulging myself in earthly delights." Stated Naruto, who was now beginning to sweat.

"Naruto-dono, don't talk about my nephew that way." Stated Gaara in a flat voice. A shiver ran up the ramen chef's spine. He was cornered between a rock and a hard place.

"Uh…uhhh…ummm" He began to sweat further. His eyes traveled the room, searching for some form of support. Instead, he was met with shocked looks and general surprise.

"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!!!" Shouted Anko accusingly; a vain appearing in her forehead.

"Well you see, I was drunk-"

"OH BIG SURPRISE!!!" interrupted the snake Jounin.

"And she was hot so we sort of…"

Anko's crossed her arms with a dead serious look in her eyes; when suddenly they grew wide in recognition. "WE DIDN'T USE A CONDOM!!!! IF YOU'RE THAT POTENT WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD HAPPEN!!!"

"Relax, Anko-chan its no big deal…I'm sure everything will be fine…" "_Why does this conversation seem familiar??"_

* * *

Flashback… 

_Naruto lay wrapped up in messy sheets. Beside him was the form of a sweaty blond teen. Her sandy hair was cropped against her face in the most perverse of ways. She breathed heavily next to him._

"_Crap…we didn't use…a condom." She said between panted breathes. _

"_Relax, Temari-chan its no big deal…I'm sure everything will be fine…" said Naruto reassuringly. _

_The girl only smiled before she started kissing her way up his chest…_

End Flashback…

* * *

Naruto's sweat was now perspiring at an unheard of rate. _"Right…better not tell her about that…"_

Anko seemed to have calmed down. She gave a loud breath of relief. "You're right…I'm overreacting…nothing to worry about." She then gave a large grin not unlike Naruto's own. "Besides, no way in hell Kami would allow me to be a mother, hahahahahahahahahahaha…"

Naruto slowly backed away from her…

* * *

The Sandiame cleared his throat, regaining the attention of those gathered. The tension having been peaked was now starting to fall back down. The rules had long since been explained, setting the final stages of the exam into motion. 

Each participant went up to the balconies, waiting for their respective turns. Naruto eyed them all rather curiously, his gaze landed on one person in particular. Hyuuga Hinata.

It didn't take the genius Naruto was to figure out why Hiashi was there. The clan head wanted to see just how strong his daughters were; and this would be a good time to show him just how far Hinata had come.

**Hyuuga Neji Vs Hyuuga Hinata**

Either some higher force was at work or Naruto had had _way _too much to drink. He eyed his sake bottle carefully.

* * *

Hinata was visibly trembling at the words on the giant screen. She was forced to release a calming breath to regain herself. On her shoulder she felt the soft pat of her sensei's hand. Kurenai was encouraging her; something that instantly made the heiress feel a lot better. She took a step towards the stairs, and for the first time since she'd been in the room, she noticed her father sitting near the Hokage…watching. 

A new wave of panic hit Hinata, as she felt not only her fathers gaze on her, but the heated glare of her sister behind. They were both measuring her worth at the moment, and Hinata couldn't help but shrink up inside. Her next step was far more shaky then the last. And the next one after that was only more so.

It was a miracle that she was able to make it to the center of the room where her opponent awaited her.

Neji took up the trade mark stance of their family and waited for the signal to begin. His focus on her was even more intense then her fathers, and just as demoralizing.

"_Why does everyone glare at me with such eyes…"_Hinata wondered briefly as she shrunk back into herself. She took up her stance, which seemed far less imposing the Neji's own.

Distantly Hinata could hear both her father and sister give a sigh of disappointment.

* * *

Naruto looked at Neji with a serious face. His eyes concentrated firmly on the boy. _"I never noticed it…but I've met a lot of effeminate boys recently." _Naruto closed his eyes and took up a thinking pose so he could ponder these thoughts more.

* * *

"Hajime!" 

Neji charged without hesitation. A firm palm thrust was all it took to break Hinata's shaky guard. The poor girl lost most of her footing and was forced to stumble back. Neji did not pursue her, opting to pose with his striking palm still out stretched. He glared at her menacingly, and his stance appeared to be both a challenge and a statement.

With Neji's cold determination, Hinata found herself shaking uncontrollably. Faintly she could here her teammates shouting out words of encouragement. But they could barely reach her.

Neji charged again, sending another palm thrust towards her. She narrowly avoided it, dodging to the side. Neji did not falter at this; he slide forward using the momentum of his previous attack. Ghostly, he pivoted on his left foot and jumped. The young Hyuuga prodigy, practically floated in the air with grace, as his new attack was taking form. His right leg began to follow a set path, arcing, towards Hinata. Hinata lifted her foot, blocking the blow with her knee. The power she felt made her body go numb. A lift overtook her feet, sending her back. Her heels screeched as the dragged over the tiled surface of the floor.

When the girl landed, she gasped. The experience had been so fast, she had forgotten to breath. A dull ring echoed in her ears, and the corners of her vision darkened.

"Give up…it is not your fate to win this match." Stated Neji coldly. He stood up straight, abandoning his family stance. He sent her a glare that was far more pain inducing then any chakra filled palm strike.

Hinata body trembled. _"What should I do…"_ she thought meekly. Her body was still numb, leaving a biting cold in the pit of her stomach. She turned herself on her stomach and started to rise. The process was slow, and almost painful to watch. Her legs appeared to be buckling, but she would not fall back down. She coughed once and then again, her teeth noticeably red after.

"If we continue, I won't be able to hold myself back." stated Neji.

Her body gave another involuntary tremble. His voice had been calm while using terrifying words. Hinata turned her head and stared at Neji. Her cousin was but a blur, coming into focus only the briefest of seconds. The room was growing dark at the edges; shadows becoming more pronounced and color fleeting.

"I…can't." she whispered. She couldn't remember her training now. The weight of the room seem to bare down on her like lead. Her knees felt shaky and her resolve was even shakier. "I…I…I giv-"

"HINATA-CHAN!!!!"

Naruto's voice echoed throughout the preliminary room. Hinata seemed to break from some sort of spell as she instantly stopped trembling and stared at her 'sensei'.

"What are you doing!" he yelled standing up, his sake bottle ever noticeable in his hands. "Remember all that we've been through! The long nights, the bath house, Icha Icha, the intense movements that made your hips hurt the next day!"

* * *

Up in the stands Hanabi's jaw had hit the ground. Despite herself she couldn't help but yell. "WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO MY SISTER!!!"

* * *

Despite Naruto's odd phrasing of her training, Hinata received the message he was sending. She was stronger then this. 

"Remember…be like sake!"

At those words Hinata instantly fell back into stance, however, it seemed far more relaxed and loose then the normal Hyuuga fighting position. Neji, merely interpreted the lax stance as a flaw in her technique.

The boy charged forth without a seconds hesitation. He gave one of his trademark palm thrusts…only it never connected. Hinata dodged it seemingly effortlessly and now her shoulder was directly next to Neji's chest. The boy was frozen in surprise, leaving himself open, however Hinata did not attack.

He jumped back and regained himself. Sending a kick Hinata's way. She dodged the blow with minimal effort as well. Her body moving loose around his leg like a rag doll. Neji did not relent this time as he threw several strikes with his out stretched fingers, with blinding speed. Hinata just continued to dance around those attacks as well.

Up next to the Hokage Hiashi stared at his daughter curiously. He looked over at Naruto, with a mixed expression. _"What sort of training has Naruto been giving her?" _he wondered.

As if reading his mind, Naruto turned towards the Hyuuga clan head and winked. "Just watch." He said.

Neji let out an uncharacteristic growl. As he sent another palm strike, with far more strength then the 'Gentle fist' was meant to expel, towards Hinata. What happened next would go down as a historical moment for the Hyuuga clan.

Hinata's hands moved passed Neji's palm down his forearm. Her hands barely touching his skin. A notable mix of green and blue chakra danced around her palms. Neji felt the effects instantly. All of his tenseku had been closed in his arm, and most of his major muscle tendons had been cut. His joints were now out of place, and the entire inside of his arm, made it completely impossible for it to function properly.

But Hinata did not stop there. With Neji caught off guard, she struck his right foot with her own, sending him off balance and stumbling forward. She lifted him up off the ground and tossed him over her shoulder. Her hands making noticeable movements across his chest as he flew over her.

When Neji landed, he was barely fit to fight at all. As most of his waste was paralyzed and eighty more tenseku points were closed. He could even feel some internal damage to his organs.

Unable to even stand, it came as no surprise when the ref decided to announce the winner.

"Winner Hyuuga Hinata."

Hinata seemed to wake up from whatever fantasy she was in. She looked around her in surprise at people clapping. A tremendous blush was on her face.

"_Ryan was so close to making her climax…" _she thought while looking down a little ashamed with herself.

* * *

Back up near the front of the room, Hiashi eyed his daughter curiously. He gave a glance Naruto's way, and noticed how the boy had retreated near the back wall, away from the purple haired girl he was with. Hiashi got the message and walked over their silently. 

"What exactly have you been teaching her?" he asked in his usual emotionless tone.

Naruto had his straw hat pulled over his eyes. He gave noticeably long chug of his sake before he spoke. "How to let go." He said. He looked up at Hiashi with a serious yet sad expression. "She's not weak…she's mastered medical techniques to such a degree that she's able to incorporate them into her own style, she's loose when fighting, and her chakra control is so spectacular that she's able to close off tenseku without having to directly close it off with her fingers…but probably the most amazing thing is that she does most of this unconsciously, without fully understanding what she's doing."

Hiashi looked over at his daughter, for a brief moment pride went through his eyes. "I never say it…but I love her…and Hanabi." He stated. Watching as Hinata was patted on the back by her teammates. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits given the way Hinata won. Fellow Konoha Genin came by her to congratulate her on her victory.

"After losing…my…my wife." Hiashi seemed to have trouble finding his own words. "I know I became rather cold towards them both…I even brought myself to the point where I out right ignored Hinata…in a lot of ways I'm a failure as a father…even now I know I probably won't change…but…will you guide both of them…Hi-my wife would have liked that."

Naruto gave a small nod, barely noticeable to anyone but Hiashi. He gave what he could of a smile of content.

"By the way Naruto…what did you mean when you said 'Icha Icha' to my daughter?" asked Hiashi with a raised eyebrow. Naruto froze up at that and looked away.

"Umm…" Naruto trailed off. Before looking over at Hyuuga Neji, who was currently being taken away on a stretcher. " A Hyuuga massacre…" Naruto whispered to himself. The words floated off his tongue in a nostalgic sort of way.

* * *

Hinata sat up in the balcony near the back wall. After her team had had congratulated her on a victory; they had gone back to observing the competition. She chose to lay back and let the injuries she had sustained from her cousin. 

Her arms were going num. _"He was so strong…and I beat him…" _

"Don't get a big head."

Hinata nearly jumped at the sound of Naruto's voice. She looked to her side to see the blond chef sitting beside her. She then looked back at where he had previously resided, near her father, in confusion.

"How…wha-"

"You won because he underestimated you, and you had surprise on your side." Stated Naruto watching carefully as Neji was now fully taken out of the room. "You definitely improved, but you still have a long way to go."

"Y-yea s-s-sensei." Hinata mumbled out meekly.

"Are you stuttering…Hinata?" asked Naruto raising an eyebrow. Hinata looked down abashed. Naruto merely smiled. "And I had though we were long passed this."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Stated Naruto. "You're stronger then you give yourself credit for…I think you need to convince your cousin of that."

Hinata looked up at Naruto curiously.

"I have an idea of what he's going through…I'm sure it would help if he didn't hate everyone." Said Naruto in all his wisdom.

"Wha-"

"GO TALK TO HIM BAKA!!!" shouted Naruto hitting Hinata over the head. Hinata stood up but was frozen in confusion. "NOW!"

She was gone in a second.

* * *

**Inuzuka Kiba Vs Kanaka Akane**

The Hokages had poked up in alarm at hearing the second competitor's name. He briefly looked over to Naruto, the boy merely hid his eyes under his hat.

The little girl from Iwa bounced from her spot up in the balcony and landed in the center of the room. Kiba merely eyed her, as if he was being tricked.

"Oy, am I really expected to fight a kid?" asked Kiba walking towards the ref.

"She is an official shinobi of Iwa." Stated the ref. Kiba shrugged.

"Whatever." He said telling Akamaru to stay back. Many of the spectators questioned his choice to leave his partner behind.

"Hajime!"

Kiba didn't take up a stance, he merely looked around confused. "Hey listen…I uh…really don't want to hurt you." He started. He looked almost pleadingly at her. "So if you could please just giv-"

"Die…"

Kiba was blown back by an invisible force. His body crashing into the wall behind him, leaving a huge crater in the cement. His eyes had gone wide from the pressure; blood started flowing from his mouth.

Akane stalked up to him; her eyes were narrowed and deadly. Kiba fell to the ground on his knees; his eyes shaking in pain. He shakily made his way to his feet.

"Damn it." He fell down, landing on all fours chakra surged around him. His body then disappeared. The faint blur of Kiba's body could be seen running circles around Akane. She showed little recognition to his movements. "You bitch!"

Kiba swung his clawed at the girl. Before he realized it he was underneath her. Akane had dodged his attack by jumping in the air, however, she didn't appear to be coming down.

'How-" Kiba was again caught off as he felt and invisible blow into his gut. He was sent a few feet in the air, before something struck him in the back. He crashed with bone crushing force into the ground; creating another large crater.

Kiba struggled to move as the same forced that had been kicking him around the entire match was now holding him in place on the ground. He couldn't breath and was beginning to see spots.

The little girl Akane simply floated above him.

* * *

"What is that ability, Asuma-sensei?" asked Ino in horror. 

Asuma's eyes were wide; sweat was dripping down his face. _"How…"_were his thoughts. " He slowly looked Naruto's way, disbelief written on his face.

"Hayate…call the match." Stated the Hokage. The ref Jounin merely nodded.

"Winner Kanaka Akane."

Akane landed next to Kiba, she bent over to whisper in his ear. "Next time…take me more seriously." Said Akane in a deadly voice.

* * *

Naruto stood up, and walked passed Kakashi. The Jounin shot him a suspicious glance. "Naruto…" 

"Don't ponder on it…Kakashi."

* * *

Authors Note: Okay another chapter. I kinda got lazy at the end so sorry if it was...umm...crappy. More on Naruto's son and stuff later. I'm trying to finish up the exam first. Sorry if anything bad in this chapter happened that you didn't like. So tell me your thoughts on it. I'll probably go back and edit this chapter. 


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